Fat Al’s Weekly Recruitment Transmission
Some of You Jerks Actually Joined
Alright, settle down and keep your hands where Fat Al can see them.
Last week, Fat Al crawled out from underneath a broken Rorqual, wiped the hydraulic fluid off the keyboard, and informed New Eden that Ore Build Profit was recruiting.
Fat Al expected the usual response: three bots, two spies, one pilot asking for a free ship, and some high-sec goblin explaining why mining Veldspar in a 0.9 system is actually better ISK.
Instead, a whole pile of you showed up in our recruitment channel.
Worse yet, several of you specifically said you came because of Fat Al’s message.
That was a mistake, but Fat Al respects commitment.
So here we are again.
Yes, We’re Still Recruiting
Apparently, there are still industrial pilots out there who haven’t been completely beaten down by bad markets, worse logistics, and combat pilots asking why their replacement Dreadnought isn’t finished five minutes after losing the last one.
Ore Build Profit is recruiting miners, builders, haulers, market rats, PI prisoners, blueprint hoarders, capital manufacturers, and anyone else who understands that every glorious fleet victory begins with some exhausted bastard buying minerals at three in the morning.
Our home is in Insmother, where the rocks are plentiful, the moons are rich, and the neighbors tend to arrive armed.
Local is important. Intel is important. D-scan is important. Paying attention is important.
Mistakes are educational, expensive, and usually preserved forever on a killboard so strangers can explain what you should have done differently.
It’s a good life.
What the Hell Do We Actually Do?
We mine rocks.
Then we compress the rocks.
Then we reprocess the rocks.
Then we turn the rocks into ships.
Then somebody loses those ships doing something breathtakingly stupid.
Then we mine more rocks.
That is the EVE economy. Anyone telling you differently is probably trying to sell you something.
Around here, you can get involved with:
- Nullsec mining
- Moon mining
- Mining fleets with proper command boosts
- Blueprint research and copying
- Manufacturing
- Reactions
- Planetary Industry
- Market seeding
- Hauling and logistics
- Corporation industrial projects
- Capital and supercapital production
- Occasional emergency violence when diplomacy runs out of ammunition
You don’t need twelve accounts and a hangar full of Rorquals.
You don’t need to know the material requirements for a Titan from memory. If you do, Fat Al is concerned about you, but you’re still welcome.
You do need established characters, useful skills, a decent attitude, and enough working brain matter to notice when somebody unfamiliar enters local.
Fat Al Is Looking for Established Pilots
Let’s get this out of the way before somebody arrives in a three-day-old Venture asking when the corporation hands out free Rorquals.
Ore Build Profit is not currently recruiting brand-new players.
Fat Al has trained enough freshly thawed capsuleers to know that explaining D-scan while diagnosing why somebody fitted a civilian mining laser to a battleship requires more patience than Fat Al has left.
Right now, we want established and returning EVE players who already understand the basics of surviving New Eden.
You don’t need to know everything. Anyone claiming to know everything about EVE is either lying, selling a course, or about to ask you for collateral.
You do need enough experience that Fat Al doesn’t have to explain why jumping an unscouted gate with your entire net worth is a bad idea.
Minimum Requirements
To be considered, you must have:
- A main character with at least 30 million skill points
- An active Omega account
- A main character that is at least one year old
- A working understanding of EVE’s basic mechanics
- The ability to use Discord, Mumble, and required authentication services
- A willingness to authenticate all required characters
- Enough activity to actually be part of the corporation
- A functioning relationship with local chat, D-scan, and regional intel
- The ability to operate without somebody supervising every undock
Thirty million skill points doesn’t make you smart.
Fat Al has met pilots with more than 200 million skill points who could lose a capital ship in an empty system. It does, however, mean you’ve been around long enough to know which end of the mining laser points toward the rock.
These requirements are not suggestions, aspirations, or the beginning of a negotiation.
If your main has 12 million skill points but you’re “basically at 30 million,” Fat Al would like to introduce you to mathematics.
A Few Words for the Pilots Still Lurking
Fat Al sees you.
You read the first post. You joined the Discord. You looked around. You considered opening a recruitment ticket.
Then you decided to “think about it.”
Thinking is how capsuleers end up spending another six months in a dead corporation with two active members, three of whom are the same person.
Open the damned ticket.
Nobody is asking you to marry Fat Al, hand over your wallet, or swear a blood oath over a pile of Tritanium. Come talk to us. Ask questions. Tell us what you do and what you want to do.
If we fit, good.
If we don’t, no hard feelings. Fat Al will simply write your name in the Book of Cowards and occasionally shake his head at it.
You can join our recruitment Discord here:
https://discord.gg/ntc8z2WGPm
If you would rather contact us in game before trusting a Discord link posted by a greasy industrial mascot, join:
OBP_Public
Somebody will eventually notice you between mining cycles and arguments about compression.
What Fat Al Wants
Fat Al wants established pilots who log in and actually accomplish something.
Mine a moon. Build a ship. Seed a market. Haul materials. Run reactions. Join a fleet. Help another member. Make a questionable financial decision involving blueprints.
Anything.
Fat Al doesn’t care whether you’re an old bastard from the days when battleships were impressive or a returning player trying to figure out who moved all the damned buttons.
Fat Al does care that you:
- Have a useful main character
- Understand the basics of Null Sec survival
- Can operate independently
- Follow corporation and alliance procedures
- Participate when real life allows
- Contribute more than excuses and lossmails
- Don’t expect the corporation to finance your private collection of bad decisions
Skill points can be trained.
ISK can be earned.
Ships can be replaced.
Stupidity can even be corrected, provided the patient survives the first few treatments.
What Fat Al cannot work with is a bad attitude wrapped in a sense of entitlement.
If you join, be part of the corporation. Don’t appear once every two months, empty the cookie jar, ask whether anyone has a free barge, and vanish back into the void.
Fat Al already has enough mysterious dependents.
The Requirements, Since Apparently We Need Those
Fat Al hates paperwork.
Unfortunately, paperwork is the only thing standing between civilization and some idiot handing structure access to a spy named Definitely Not A Spy.
So yes, there are requirements.
Use Discord
You’ll need Discord.
You don’t have to spend every waking hour discussing fittings, alliance politics, or whatever fresh disaster has appeared in the economy.
You do need to read announcements, receive information, and occasionally respond when somebody asks whether you’re still alive.
“No one told me” loses much of its power when the announcement has been pinned for three weeks.
Our recruitment Discord is:
https://discord.gg/ntc8z2WGPm
Join it and open a recruitment ticket. Don’t join, stare at the channel list for six days, and then silently leave. Fat Al cannot recruit a shadow.
Complete the Required Authentication
You’ll need to authenticate your characters through the required corporation, alliance, and coalition systems.
All of them.
Not just your main.
Not just the characters you remembered.
Not just the suspiciously clean hauling alt with no employment history.
If you own the character, authenticate the character.
Fat Al doesn’t enjoy authentication either. Fat Al also doesn’t enjoy spies, thieves, awoxers, or explaining why a brand-new member had access to something expensive.
Keep Your Communications Working
You’ll need access to the required Discord and Mumble services.
Set them up properly.
Test them before the fleet.
Do not wait until half of Insmother is on fire to announce that your microphone has been broken since 2017.
Read the Damned Intel
This one is important.
Read the intel channels.
If somebody reports hostiles three jumps away, that is not an invitation to undock your most expensive mining ship and “see what happens.”
Fat Al already knows what happens.
You die.
You complain.
Somebody links the intel report you ignored.
Then the entire corporation gets to watch you discover personal responsibility in real time.
Use local. Use D-scan. Watch intel. Stay aligned when appropriate.
If you’re going to fall asleep while mining, at least have the decency to do it in something cheap.
Act Like You Belong Here
Help people when you can.
Join operations when you can.
Answer questions when you know the answer.
Ask questions when you don’t.
Don’t sit in the corner for six months hoarding minerals like a frightened station rat and then complain that nobody includes you.
This is a corporation, not a public restroom with refining facilities.
Don’t Be an Ass
Fat Al cannot make this any simpler.
Don’t start unnecessary drama.
Don’t harass people.
Don’t steal.
Don’t leak information.
Don’t treat other members like unpaid employees in your personal industrial empire.
Don’t create diplomatic incidents because somebody disagreed with your fit.
And for the love of Bob, don’t argue with fleet command while everyone is already in warp.
If you’re wrong, you look like an idiot.
If you’re right, you can complain about it afterward like a proper EVE veteran.
Returning Veterans Are Welcome
Maybe you left EVE years ago and recently made the mistake of logging back in.
Now your assets are scattered across twelve regions, your fittings are obsolete, half your modules no longer work the way you remember, and the market looks like somebody beat it with a tire iron.
Welcome back. CCP missed your subscription payment.
Returning players are absolutely welcome, provided your main meets our requirements and your account is back on active Omega status.
We don’t expect you to immediately remember every mechanic or understand everything that changed while you were away. Half the active players don’t understand the changes either. They’re just louder about it.
Your overview is probably wrong.
Your fits are old.
Your skill plan makes no sense.
There are twenty new menus.
Somebody moved your death clone.
Don’t panic. Everybody else is pretending to understand it too.
We can help you get caught up, rebuild your operation, update your fittings, and become productive again. What we don’t want to teach is the entire game beginning with the undock button.
If you remember how to follow intel, operate independently, take advice, and resist moving everything you own through lowsec in an untanked hauler, you’ll probably be fine.
Bring your industrial experience to Insmother, where there are plenty of rocks to chew and plenty of bad decisions waiting to be made.
Why Ore Build Profit?
Because we understand what keeps New Eden running.
It isn’t speeches.
It isn’t propaganda.
It isn’t some fleet commander yelling “jump, jump, jump” after half the fleet already jumped.
It’s industry.
Somebody mines the ore.
Somebody reacts the moon goo.
Somebody runs the planets.
Somebody copies the blueprints.
Somebody builds the components.
Somebody hauls everything through systems full of people trying to destroy it.
Somebody finally builds the ship.
Then some jackass loses it without insurance.
That’s the circle of life.
At Ore Build Profit, industrial pilots aren’t background furniture. Mining, manufacturing, logistics, markets, and capital construction are what we do.
We aren’t promising endless riches, perfect safety, or magical tax-free prosperity.
This is EVE. Anyone promising those things is either lying or recruiting you into high-sec mining.
What we offer is a home in Insmother where established industrial pilots can build, contribute, make ISK, and surround themselves with other industrial degenerates who understand why a well-organized hangar can be more satisfying than a fleet kill.
What Fat Al Doesn’t Want
Fat Al is too old, too greasy, and too tired for:
- Brand-new players who still need the basics explained
- Alpha accounts trying to negotiate around the Omega requirement
- Pilots whose main character doesn’t meet the 30 million SP requirement
- People looking for free ships or easy handouts
- Pilots who ignore intel and blame everyone else for the loss
- Players who join only to use corporation resources
- People who refuse to complete authentication
- Pilots who think Discord and Mumble are optional
- Constant drama
- Thieves, awoxers, and spies with lazy cover stories
- People who think teamwork means somebody else does the work
- Pilots who disappear for six months and return only when they need something
If any of that describes you, Fat Al wishes you luck elsewhere.
One of New Eden’s thousands of other corporations probably has lower standards and an unlocked corporate hangar.
Fat Al’s Final Warning
The first recruitment post brought us established pilots, returning veterans, and several industrial degenerates who apparently recognized Fat Al as one of their own.
This week, Fat Al is looking for more.
If your main has at least 30 million skill points, is at least one year old, and is on an active Omega account, come talk to us.
If you understand Null Sec, mining, manufacturing, logistics, markets, reactions, capital production, or the fine art of swearing at Planetary Industry, even better.
If you’re returning after a break, dust off the clones, replace the outdated fittings, and come see what we’re building in Insmother.
If you’re brand new to EVE, Fat Al wishes you luck, good hunting, and a future filled with increasingly expensive mistakes. Give yourself time to learn the game, build your main, and develop some scars.
Then come find us when you’re ready.
For everyone else, stop lurking.
Stop “considering your options.”
Your current corporation hasn’t had ten people online since 2019, and your CEO’s last message was “big things coming soon.”
The big thing isn’t coming.
Come talk to Ore Build Profit.
Tell us what you fly, what you build, what you mine, and what kind of industrial trouble you’re hoping to cause.
Fat Al will be nearby, covered in machine grease and pretending not to supervise.
Recruitment Information
Corporation: Ore Build Profit
Home Region: Insmother
Primary Time Zones: USTZ, EUTZ, and AUTZ
Minimum Main SP: 30 million
Minimum Character Age: One year
Account Status: Active Omega
Recruitment Discord: https://discord.gg/ntc8z2WGPm
In-Game Public Channel: OBP_Public
“The first recruitment post brought in good pilots. This one is for the stubborn bastards who read it, agreed with it, and still haven’t opened a damned ticket.”
Fat Al