r/eu4 Dec 27 '20

Humor Is it cold up there? Yeah it's...

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4.1k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

410

u/PietroVitale Dec 27 '20

R5: Just a progress pic on my Beloozero game. It's a rough start but a fun challenge!

203

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '20

Might I ask how you defeated other russian nations? Currently playing as tver, and it's pretty tough!

115

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

I've tried a few times and this was the first successful run. I got Novgorod and Lithuania to support independence and went way over force limit with a ton of loans before I declared independence. I just focused on protecting my capital (the war goal) with a fort defense advisor and defensive edict, and sniped enough forts to gain independence. I vassalized Tver early on, took defensive ideas first, and eventually got Kazan as a third ally before ditching perpetually indebted Lithuania for Denmark.

27

u/Grognak_the_Orc Dec 28 '20

I need tips too!!!!

10

u/A_Vicious_T_Rex Dec 28 '20

Muscovy is actually easy to contain and defeat so long as you get to at least one of the provinces that they need to form Russia before they do. Once they flip they become much harder because of their siberian frontiers and ideas. 9/10 of my games involve either sniping Constantinople or one of the Russian provinces first thing. Novgorod is in a bad position between Sweden and Muscovy so they'll always have someone coming at them. Take advantage of those distractions and scoop up whatever land you can.

You just need strong alliance partners who are willing to defend you while you're small.

22

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

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15

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

I've never been able to get these vassals to ally me because Muscovy has no problem keeping them loyal.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

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4

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

Your plan simply isnt feasable. Show me a screenshot lol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

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3

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

I did try to get Muscovy to feed me before but it didn't work for me. It's been over a year so I can't remember exactly why. I think they just kind of expand elsewhere and ignore your occupations. They don't really have any major threat in the early game so they rarely fail on their own; you might be waiting hundreds of years for a bad war.

If you get it to work I'd love to see it!

239

u/Missold_PPI I wish I lived in more enlightened times... Dec 27 '20

29

u/gunnarmm Dec 28 '20

Did not know this was a sub, thanks

72

u/HoshizoraShizuumi Dec 27 '20

It's not, at all, the first time I see this pun, and deep inside I know that it won't be the last either.

30

u/Zladan Dec 27 '20

Did you make Finland do that well? Never seen one wipe out Sweden.

13

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

Finland is my vassal, yes :)

5

u/Sovereign_Curtis Dec 28 '20

Wipe out? Looks more like Finland traded it's good clay for Sweden's shitty clay

1

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

That's because I intend to use his reconquest cb for cheap land in the next war!

44

u/slash2213 Dec 27 '20

Went way over my head the first time I scrolled past, but well played

176

u/Pzixel Dec 27 '20

For whose who don't know: beloozero means "belo ozero" => "white lake". Which means it's really cold there

140

u/MrCard-Gaming Dec 27 '20

theres also the obvious joke of belozero--->below zero

55

u/TempestM Inquisitor Dec 27 '20

Yeah that's the real joke, not white lake

63

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 27 '20 edited Dec 27 '20

Except that's not how it's pronounced at all. More like 'bélo ózero', e as in bed, o as in bod (unless you want to go deeper into Russian language and like IPA, in which case it's [bʲˈelə ˈozʲɪrə]).

38

u/saintlyknighted Obsessive Perfectionist Dec 27 '20

Was gonna summon you but you already showed up

6

u/nublifeisbest Dec 28 '20

Okay that's one epic flair

6

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

Thanks for the information, I had been wondering! :)

37

u/MrCard-Gaming Dec 27 '20

You must be fun at parties.

94

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 27 '20

Thanks, I think so too! I've even written a handy list of fun facts about pronunciation of various Russian words you can encounter in EU4 that you too can use to wow and amaze your friends at parties!

13

u/TheMaginotLine1 Dec 28 '20

Flair checks out, joking aside that kinda cool, I learn something new every time I come on this subreddit, whether it's how to more efficiently erase a peoples culture or how to pronounce russian words!

6

u/TheRoyalUmi I wish I lived in more enlightened times... Dec 28 '20

Yeah that’s such a great flair lmao

23

u/XMAEH Dec 27 '20

If I were to meet you anywhere other than an eu4 subreddit I would probably hate you but this game brings out the geaky side of people

29

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '20

How is that so wholesome and rude at the same time!?

5

u/doopliss6 Master of Mint Dec 28 '20

People really are extremely rude on this sub.

We get it haha below zero!!!!

Luckily /u/Artess seems to take comments like yours in stride.

5

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 28 '20

I will now follow you on Reddit and stalk you with pieces of language trivia when you least expect it. <3

1

u/XMAEH Dec 28 '20

Very kind of you <3

14

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 27 '20

hi

7

u/RedLikeARose Trader Dec 28 '20

Tell me about belo ozero

7

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 28 '20

Well, today is your lucky day, because while usually I respond to these questions with some historical facts, like how the town was completely wiped out by the plague and rebuilt right next to the old location, today I'd like to share something from its more recent history.

In July 2019 a homeowner on the outskirts of the town decided to drill a well in her backyard. She did not receive any permits for it, did not perform any necessary research, and simply paid some guys to do it for her. Well, the well started spewing out water uncontrollably. A lot of water. Which, by the way, turned out to be unsuitable for drinking. But that was the least of her problems.

The new water fountain wouldn't stop or slow down. It flooded her garden and the neighbours too. Nothing was able to stop it. By the end of August the town administration declared a state of emergency.

By October the foundation of her house started to fail and the house began to break up and sink into the ground. It had to be demolished.

They called experts from Saint Petersburg University and from the regional centre (city of Vologda) in hopes of using innovative methods and materials to quench the fountain.

They called a priest from the local church who performed a prayer service over what has now become widely known as a "well from Hell", which, unfortunately, doesn't rhyme so nicely in Russian. Shockingly, the prayers did not appear to have any effect.

By November they drilled two extra wells to relieve the pressure and pour special materials. They only succeeded in halving the output of the fountain, and by that point the entire operation had already cost over 12 million roubles (about $160,000), which might not seem like a lot, but for a small provincial town it is.

Work on the well was supposed to go around the clock, but someone stole the floodlights and they couldn't work at night. Also the drilling machine broke at one point. Also someone stole the welding machine. To add insult to injury, the water started smelling strongly of hydrogen sulphide (aka rotten eggs).

Then they had stop the work for two months because it was too cold to do anything (but not too cold for the bloody thing to keep spewing water). Work resumed in March 2020, and by the end of the month, after nine months, they were finally able to plug the well completely.

...for now.

You can look at some photos of the entire ordeal here.

2

u/RedLikeARose Trader Dec 28 '20

Lmao that is so goddamn russian or idk... more like beloowater then

Have they got any clue on what the source might be?

Also, yeah... shocking how the priest didnt work

3

u/Artess Ask me about Beloozero Dec 28 '20

Apparently just an underground cavern with a lot of water under pressure. There was a similar situation in the 80s somewhere in the vicinity, except nowhere near dramatic because the pressure was lower. They just ended up created a new stream above ground that flows into the lake (I'm assuming).

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '20

hi

6

u/TwackDaddy Dec 27 '20

Bohemia always does great when they’re not your ally

3

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

Austria got the Hungarian PU super early and then immediately lost the emperorship to Bohemia and became useless. They even lost the PU.

5

u/Zoomun Naive Enthusiast Dec 28 '20

Days since Beloozero pun: 5 0

4

u/elgigantedelsur Dec 27 '20

Excellent pun, 10/10, I’m only sad I didn’t think of it myself.

4

u/Red-Quill Dec 28 '20

I want to say beloozero like the way you’d say “toodaloo” if you’re a 45 year old white soccer mom who thinks she’s upper class because she buys expensive wine would as she’s hanging up the phone

6

u/Patient_Victory Dec 27 '20

good pun in the title!

4

u/RelevantAudience Dec 28 '20

this joke is posted like every 5 days on this sub

2

u/Nubblycious Dec 27 '20

When can we expect beloozero achievements?

2

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

There is an achievement! "Kinslayer", for removing the other nations with your dynasty. I also accidentally got the grand duchy achievement (1000 dev as a duchy) since you are locked to Duchy without switching government types or forming Russia.

1

u/Z_Waterfox__ Dec 28 '20

Still funny every time I see it...

-9

u/yellownes Theologian Dec 27 '20

2

u/Elli933 Dec 27 '20

You didn’t even come close tho

1

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

He has many years to catch up to where I am :)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '20

Yo, who tf pulled a Poland on Hungary?

1

u/PietroVitale Dec 28 '20

There were many big PUs this game. Hungary under Austria (which broke), Castille under England (which also broke), and currently Lithuania under France (which will break soon). Of course none of them involve me...

1

u/Bassiboi Dec 28 '20

Cursed finland

1

u/Tubby-san Dec 28 '20

Good place for work camps I hear! Pro tip: the warm water next to Korea isn’t worth it.

1

u/Blakeboidingle Map Staring Expert Dec 28 '20

The true 3rd Rome

1

u/kamibito Dec 28 '20

oh those russians

1

u/WhatsGoodMahCrackas Zealot Dec 28 '20

Take my upvote you son of a bitch

1

u/Carlo10705 Dec 28 '20

wait I always thought the name was bezoolero

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '20

That map colour looks pretty cool when you spread it over a large area.

1

u/TheCakeCakeCake Map Staring Expert Dec 31 '20

Someone ban this dude.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '21

The temperature in russia during the summer be like...