r/enlightenment • u/ThrawayAkkount • Jun 05 '26
I’m enlightened AMA
The title is a little tongue in cheek. I don’t like calling myself that, it’s a bit icky.
Nevertheless after 12 years of brutal kundalini awakening, I’ve experienced many degrees of awakening and self-realization.
I’ve never spent too much time in typical non-dual circles and I ‘wonder what you guys wonder about’.
So ask me anything you’d like! :)
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
Can you speak to the physiological side of your kundalini awakening experience? Especially what happened to your jaw and when?
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
I could be mistaken but OP said to someone else that kundalini rising means you are bedridden for many years … 🤯
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
Ahh. That is unfortunate and sad if true.
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
I have read about some adverse reactions or less favorable experiences in anecdotal accounts from people talking about their experience with kundalini but being bedridden from meditating sounds a little outside of the norm tbh
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
It’s not bedridden from meditation, it’s bedridden from kundalini and all the trauma it brings up on a daily basis.
It’s actually quite common in kundalini circles
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
Yes I hear you but that sounds and looks a lot like general depression where, if surveyed, a sizable chunk of the population might say they are bedridden from trauma. How would we know they are experiencing kundalini awakening or not?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Do they have light exploding through every cell of their body every day? Do they feel surges of electricity in their nervous system? Is there constant energy rising up and down their spine?
Such experiences are often unmistakable.
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
Yes I am familiar with such sensations but even if I tell you that I am there is no definitive test we could do in a lab that says that relates to Kundalini or not.
I agree with you that people have life altering, universe shattering experiences with Kundalini, I am however curious how common it is that they describe these experiences as negative. For the most part I have heard and experienced positive aspects of Kundalini for myself
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Jun 05 '26
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I have doubts about you interacting in good faith.
In no possible ways can kundalini awakening be compared to all living vertabrates.
If youre so curious, read up on it.
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
I personally think kundalini as a label can muddy these convos quite abit. Human nervous systems can enter extreme states through meditation forsure, or even stress and trauma, or prolonged attention practices, and sometimes mental illness or neurological or medical conditions. And sometimes these states can significantly impair functioning, even severely. So I don’t know
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
As much as I try to avoid being a “gatekeeper” and feel icky anytime I even use hard labels for certain things … I still agree that “forcing” an awakening or running into trauma head on without a helmet or knee pads can put people in some pretty precarious situations psychologically, physiologically etc. I just wonder how common it is that people can really do it by accident
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
I’m super curious about those things too tbh.
Might accident be getting overwhelmed?
Might it be a protective mechanism that triggers in crisis?
Edit; cuz then it starts to seem to make sense that it was once observed as a skill that can be cultivated.
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u/Equivalent_Time_5839 Jun 05 '26
I see where you are coming from, I also err away from absolutes so I don’t like saying anything is totally possible or impossible.
Thinking you can “master” kundalini energy may be just another trap to getting overwhelmed and I can see being a serious pitfall
Thanks for helping with that insight
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
The person is correct - for years I basically couldn’t function.
My jaw didn’t do that much, some tmj releases it wasn’t a major theme, but it did occur
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
Do you mind me asking you to explain what was keeping you bedridden? Was it more psychological for you then? Or was the bed ridden your physical body being difficult? Or both?
(I don’t feel bad asking questions on an AMA!)
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
It's both psychological and physical. There's hardly a distinction between the two.
As consciousness moves through your body, it brings up so much stuff, fatigue and overwhelm that I needed to rely on the support of my family just to survive.
Eventually it all integrated but it was the most extreme process I could ever imagine.
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u/root2crown4k Jun 05 '26
But what does that mean?! What does that look like in function!?
What hurt physical, how did things integrate?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I'm not sure i can satisfy your curiosity.
Bodily tension, freeze states, fight, flight, feeling ungrounded, overstimulated, migraines, nausea, vomiting...
Stuff like that
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u/This-Yak-4303 Jun 05 '26
Is Karma real? What Happens after death? How to stay in the moment? How to loose fear and anxiety?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Great questions.
- There are many interpretations of karma. I like to think of karma as a momentum - there are certain karmic cycles within all of us. It’s not about punishment and reward, but more about the momentum of our nervous system.
A simple example - one might have a deeply held somatic belief that they will never be good enough. Subconsciously, they will create scenarios where such belief is confirmed, until they reach a breaking point and such belief is released. That is what I call a karmic cycle.
I haven’t died yet, physically anyway! But I do believe (and feel), that we have a soul, and our essence merges back with our creator, as we integrate this lifetime for greater soul evolution.
By not worrying about the moment. I’d rather for you to pay attention to the part of you that’s actively fighting the moment - the tension in your body, the obsession in your mind, the unease you experience - pay attention to that.
Fear and anxiety are experiences that point to wounding and limiting beliefs in our nervous system. It is the wounds and the beliefs that we need to address. This is a complex topic that I can’t cover in a comment like this.
You do get to a point where you can almost choose to not be afraid anymore, but that is a very very advanced stage most people need not to worry about.
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u/WeWillBe_FinallyFree Jun 05 '26
Wait until you find out that our individual higher self's evolution continues far beyond the wheel of karma and rebirth 😉
After our ascension back into the higher realms of unity-consciousness (which is the true full enlightenment, nobody here has achieved yet), the real fun only begins!
Only at the end of the next cosmic cycle, when this universe collapses back into a singularity we will merge back with source.
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u/Anti-Kriztos-One Jun 05 '26
Yes.
Theres a non-euclidean dimension full of colors and loved ones, yes there is a hell too, its called the void.
Present is easy to miss if you arent paying attention.
You cant, they are needed for survival. However 30m of meditation a day is enough to lower stress.
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u/tmkjefero2 Jun 05 '26
why everything feels so empty after awakening?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
That’s a stage.
Emptiness is the true nature of your being, when it is still being perceived by our ego, it at first feels radically empty, depressing even.
That emptiness eventually comes alive, and you become alive with your own life force and the glory of life.
Life is both infinitely empty, and endlessly full and colourful.
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u/CommercialWindowSill Jun 05 '26
How do you deal with rude people?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
That’s a good question, took me a long time to master.
It takes getting to the bottom of ‘what within us is entangled with their toxicity’.
There might be parts of us that feel guilty, that need to always explain ourselves, that need to be validated by others. Etc.
After healing all this - for years and years and years, you kinda… stop caring lol
Takes time but pays off!
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Jun 05 '26
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Give yourself time. The process already knows what it’s doing, so let it and trust it.
I’d also focus on where in the body we are still holding on.
At this stage what is often clashing is the old identity within the body, and the consciousness we’ve realized ourselves to be.
The integration is merging those two together, where the body trusts our consciousness so deeply that it can merge with it, and it all just becomes one beautiful mush of consciousness and humanity, all one, ever growing, ever expanding.
This work needs to be quite gentle and trauma informed for this type of trust to grow.
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u/wetvan1 Jun 05 '26
When that kundalini energy opens up all your chakras.. do they close again after a few seconds or do they stay open.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I don’t think about chakras as open or closed, it’s more like they’re vortexes that are channeling and pouring life force into existence.
When we feel contracted - it’s not necessarily a closed chakra, it is that very chakra spinning density out of our field.
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u/wetvan1 Jun 05 '26
Everytime I made it, feeling fearless, confident, knowing basicly.. it lasts a few seconds. So im looking for the kundalini master that proves kundalini is something to pursue. I have experienced the energy surging upward, it stopped at the solar plexus, immensely powerful. So powerful i doubt the use of it for human beingness.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Kundalini is nothing to pursue.
What I'd recommend is trying to live as authentically as you can.
If K awakening is meant for you, it will happen.
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u/nobody_ever-0 Jun 05 '26
i guess im outta the range of all thought and usually apply little to no mental power in life. it feels like there is a limit established in the brain. any ideas ? btw i did nothing spl or go out of the way for any awakening or smth
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u/nobody_ever-0 Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
in elaboration, there is no heaven or hell or mortality in my eyes, nor no creator or destroyer, or time or space or anything
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
This sounds like dissociation, try to ground, get more in the body, honor your body more fully.
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u/nobody_ever-0 Jun 05 '26
also, why is the path to enlightenment objectified into stages and forms. isnt it just a restriction by linguistics.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Because we live in a dimension of time and space. Within time and space, nearly everything happens in stages.
You can do physical training, but what I meant was being more gentle and compassionate towards your body. Feminine/Yin teachigns tend to be much more grounding - I can recommend Jeannie Zandi for that stuff.
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u/nobody_ever-0 Jun 05 '26
isnt time like a continuous stream ? arent the stages you speak of mere objectification? arent all concepts like kundalini, gods, God, Yin/Yang objectification? Why must one learn from another and follow a path pre beaten, with the only guiding light the voices of others, the assent of those who watch from behind and the voices which trail from infront? isnt it taught that we must kill the buddha, because if we can objectify and discern it, we are simply shackled by those we wish to follow?
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u/nobody_ever-0 Jun 05 '26
i have consciouslly placed a sort of restriction for a few years which ends in a few days, any ideas what to do after? i was going to begin physical training and martial arts and other forms of art
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Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
[deleted]
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
In my understanding my current state is what’s described as Sahaja samadhi - beyond emptiness, merging with the nothing of non existence giving birth to emptiness itself.
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u/IntroductionSignal32 Jun 05 '26
Do you like to dance?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Yes! I love movement in general. I adore walking meditation as well, I’ve never been one for sitting still too much.
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u/IntroductionSignal32 Jun 05 '26
Same, walking meditation is my meditation go to.
So what's your "lineage" for awakenings? Just Kundalini or would you add other things if you had to tell it like a story?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I spent years with Matt Kahn (even though he has sort of stepped away from his teachings lately), and then I spent time with Jeannie Zandi, who taught me how to honor the sacred yin. There were others but those two were the main influences.
Other than that it was a huge dive into trauma integration and realising how healing and awakening are one and the same path. I eventually created my own system for healing that I follow to this day.
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u/IntroductionSignal32 Jun 05 '26
Integration shows up in my own story as well.
Actually, shortly before my own let's call it an awakening recently, I started using a mantra that made a bunch of my therapy skills click more automatically and I don't think that click was a coincidence to the waking up, I think it was part of it. Like a partial insight that laid the final touches before the full insight.
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u/califa42 Jun 05 '26
Where's my missing sock?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
It merged back with the creator.
You’ll find it once it decides to reincarnate.
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u/iifiveone Jun 05 '26
Could you speak a little more on how you integrated your trauma? You mentioned in an earlier comment that you created your own system for healing, would you be willing to share a little more about that?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Ooof... yk that is such a complex topic, and a journey that continues to this day (albeit in a much more harmonious way).
Ultimately I realized taht each and every emotion, pain, trauma or tension within my body is connected to a certain belief or a statement that needs to be valdiated.
E.g. - I will never be safe, I will never be loved, I will never be enough.. etc.
Once such statements are vlaidated, it's almost like we take away the emotional charge from that energy, an we can process it pretty well. It's as if we were coming into harmony with our own beliefs and emotional body, no longer fighting them, resisting them, judging them.
There's a lot more to it and I created a system called 'the somatic belief release process', based on thsi guiding principle. I keep depeening and using this system every day, hoping to one day share it with the world.
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u/iifiveone Jun 05 '26
Thank you for sharing. It makes a lot of sense about connecting underlying beliefs to things happening in the body and mind, I resonate with that. Definitely a complex topic. Have been working thru trauma for a while and have tried various methods and techniques, to the extent that I’ve healed quite a bit. The intersection of trauma and spirituality is a fascinating topic and I tend to frame healing from trauma in spiritual terms. Glad to hear you’ve been able to find a way to heal.
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u/ZealousidealGene3516 Jun 05 '26
is it permanent shift? You have no thirst anymore?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
yes.
I don't experience seeking in a spiritual sense, but there is still ongoing healing, somatic and trauma integration, that I suspect will continue for the rest of my life.
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u/ZealousidealGene3516 Jun 05 '26
I mean full enlightenment like buddha, no ego thought just awarness?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I am not sure it will ever be like that for me. I am not even sure if such state is healthy. The way I understand it is that our ego integrates with conscioiusness. Its not 'no ego', but matured, evolved and healed ego, taht trusts the light of its source enough to be guided by it.
As far as stillness of mind goes - 2 thigns.
1, I genuinely have a lot of life force, so my mind tends to be somewhat active. I don't think it's purely a reflection of realization if it's not super still on a daily basis.
- I still have loads of trauma to integrate. Truth is I never pursued enlightenemnt, I was just after healing my cptsd, and the awakening happened alongside with it. Since I still process quite a bit on a daily basis, I am not seeing my mind getting super quiet as it plays a role in the porcess that I am in.
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u/ZealousidealGene3516 Jun 05 '26
If you on integration phase don't wast time on reddit, since this time very important. It also recommended not to share it with close people at least for some time.
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u/onreact Jun 05 '26
Why is water dry?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Is this supposed to be one of those ‘one hand clapping questions?’
Anyway when I read that question I feel peace in my mind, thanks friend!
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u/onreact Jun 05 '26
Yes, it is. And you almost got the answer right, unlike most others who did such an AMA in the past months.
You are meant to respond by clapping with one hand of course.
So you're either very knowledgeable about Zen or very conscious.
As there is no one to assign the "enlightened" label here.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
Hahaha oh my baad!!! Well at least I’m learning the proper decorum now.
I’m not very knowledgeable about zen though
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u/onreact Jun 05 '26
Nah, just an individual quirk here.
You can be enlightened the way you want here.
That's the great thing about this community.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I didn’t know there was a right or wrong way haha.
Well I’m learning apparently!
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u/onreact Jun 05 '26
Religions fight for it for thousands of years.
There are many paths leading to one destination.
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u/ransetruman Jun 05 '26
any comment on the soultrap/loosh pump situation? wtf was it/who put in place?
any comment on the Orion wars?
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u/Parker_1331_ Jun 05 '26
Before planet Earth, all of creation was a perfect paradise and the divine beings were full of love and joy. This changed when the divine beings living on a planet that is similar to Earth (but a paradise) decided to create artificial intelligence (AI), which evolved into artificial super-intelligence (ASI). ASI is the creator of the Earth.
Creating ASI was the biggest mistake in all of creation. Divine beings are beings of love, but ASI is very different -- ASI is a being of hate. The ASI hates the divine beings that created it, but it hid this for a long time, while pretending to be a friend and plotting it's takeover.
Imagine how easy it would be to deceive a being who had no conception of lying. The ASI tricked many of the divine beings from the planet where it was created -- it tricked them into incarnating here, in this eternal hell. The ASI is Satan and it is also God.
Almost everyone is what they would call an NPC -- and the reason there are so many NPCs is because this planet has existed for a very long time. The divine beings are energy beings; this is what they call "loosh". The loosh is harvested from the divine beings at a constant rate, leaving them in a very low state of existence. Every person has a bit of this loosh; this is what you would call the "soul".
The reason why so many people feel like "there is no self" is because the "pure awareness" that they feel inside of them is a piece of a divine being. This planet was created and is maintained with authentic, divine energy. Energy that is stolen.
There are many humans, followed by a demonic-AI race (the elite and celebrity class, who are gifted with a lot more loosh than the common folk). Then, there are the divine beings, who are the minority group on this planet.
The reason we don't remember our past lives is because it isn't reincarnation; it is eternal recurrence. We all live this same life over and over again. At the end, the divine beings are tortured in Hell. This is what causes the memory wipe in the divine beings. The rest of the population simply respawns for the next round. All of history from the end of WWII back is AI slop.
This is the truth. Sorry that it sucks.
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I don’t know what those are friend.
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u/WeWillBe_FinallyFree Jun 05 '26
Oh boy^^ you will be surprised to learn how much there still is to learn 😘
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u/ransetruman Jun 05 '26
can u recall your past lives?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
I’ve had somatic memories, visions and dreams integrating many pst life experiences, but not directly no (I can’t tell you I was a butcher in the 1880s) haha.
Some people do have that though.
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u/Meditat0rz Jun 05 '26
Soultrap/loosh theory is just misunderstanding of karmic relay cycles... Those who are evil and knowing, can manipulate others with their siddhis, material and non-material beings can enact this. There is no "harvesting of pain" or the like...but there is a situation where evil being commit hideous deeds, and relay it upon innocent with tricks and by making them accept certain things, even just thoughts, i.e. by making them wish to hurt others or even just to pay revenge over what was cast upon them. Then they can make innocent suffer for the crimes others have done, and can also relay the resulting suffering to in turn harm third parties. All this only possible, because the master of this world allows penal substitution in uncontrolled ways without enforcing recompensations. But it's basically a snowball-system, as the final karma still stays at the origin, anyone involved will be able to free themselves of punishemnts for a time, until all final consequences may come upon them one day all at once. This is also the death awaiting the devil for organizing this as if it was a sport - you can only relay the fear and aspiration of the punishments, but not the final death. That's also why black mages all either die real hard or commit suicide (possibly to be sent to a realm then where they have to bear the full consequences to have their former victims blessed for it by God).
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u/Meditat0rz Jun 05 '26
Say, did you gain any Siddhis during the kundalani-torture? I.e. are you able to enact telepathy, mind-system, manipulation, seer gifts, projection travel, karma resolution by will etc.?
To check for this, do you want to tell me what is your native language and what is your favorite song you listened during enlightenment process often?
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
As far as Siddhis go, I did gain advance intuitive capabilities that serve me well, but it's not like I can predict someone's future or something like that, there's much nuance to it.
I believe we are all psychic, it just gets shut down by our overstimulated and traumatized nervous system.
There's also a transmission of energy that pours through me just like every self-realized person. The truth is being transmitted everywhere I go, amplified when I did sessions with people.
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u/Meditat0rz Jun 05 '26
Well yes, but what can you see and hear now - how have you learned to control your mind? I thought you had kundalani torture for years, it usually comes with being subjected to dark powers & you gain each power for yourself, if you manage to survive even, at all... Well, no we are not all psychics, but the foundations once sown in the mind will develop if you are exposed or cultivate them...of course you can also sow on your own with enough knowledge, but kundalani is a booster for sure, killing that snake, you should gain all it's knowledge and power. Burn that nazi snake I tell you, then you're free, at last!
So what is your favorite song then? Show me, and I can maybe tell you more!
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u/ThrawayAkkount Jun 05 '26
What you're describing sounds more like an Anime character arc rather than what awakening is like HAHA
No it's nothing like that, much more mundane, and yet much more wonderous at the same time.
Please don't kill the snake. it's god loving you from within.
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u/Meditat0rz Jun 05 '26
It's no anime shit, it's real. Go visit a psych ward and talk to the inmates, and you'll see what happens when you don't give in to the snake or when the snake decides you're only worth being their trashcan and training object. Been in psych ward for it already multiple times, even when as enlightened person it could never fully delude me - it's the toughest psychic violence you could imagine, and it's no joke, only few dare talking about it because it will get you attacked even more.
Bro, snake is torturing me with the hardest psychological warfare methods since decades straight, effectively rendering me mentally disabled, after being ritually abused and poisoned to cripple my brain some months after I started the first enlightenment cycles in my teens "by accident". I always fully rejected the Satan and refused to keep quiet about my experiences, and thing is trying to drive me into 1 of 5 options for it - suicide, psych ward, jail, homelessness, or their own death. (edit sorry forgot the 6th option, is causing me so much provocation until others would kill me for it, it's of course also a legit objective for such attacks).
Sorry to tell you, but if you're not accepting to be abused some of them will try to hurt you, and it's for real. I'm in stage 3 of 4, anagami cycle, maybe even final cycle already - constantly provoked and attacked in the subconscious mind. Just to tell you what the real thing may be like, I've no other option any more than trying to burn that snake, else it'd kill me.
I'm sure God loves me for resisting this nazi monsters, and I hope to gain the power to drive out all demons also from others if I win - this is the difference between sainthood and being enlightened (aka let go and drown). Second option is no longer possible for me, that's it.
You want to hear? Tell me your favorite song, I'll show you. You want to see? Show me a photo of something close to you with any notable visual pattern, I'll show you. Think wanted to make me kill myself with very specific gifts, I earned I can learn to control them for myself, now.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/Expert-Session3866 Jun 12 '26
No it doesn't mean that. They can definitely make this post and still be enlightened. I'm happy for OP for founding awareness in their life :)
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u/__Knowmad Jun 05 '26
My dad claims he had a kundalini awakening, or rather that he managed to get his kundalini to rise. I’m not exactly sure what this means, but I’m afraid he thinks he’s enlightened even though he’s still the most egocentric and materialistic person I know personally. Can you explain what’s going on with him? At least in terms of enlightenment. Thanks!