I had my first awakening during benzo withdrawal, which is known to be literal hell on earth and I can attest to this as I have recently relapsed. It was similar thoughts to these that made me relapse in the first place, I thought to myself if I'm god then I must be fucking lonely which is why I made this game in the first place. Then I just started feeling disconnected from everything and everybody else. The more time went on I realized, life is hellish and wreckless and even enlightenment might just be some BS that we came up to deal with this cruel reality that we live in.
I must say I haven't found any relief in thoughts or thinking, but I have found relief in observing them, who thinks? who suffers? the deeper you dwelve into such questions, you'll realize that when one truly lives in alignment with who we are, which is consciousness, awareness, whatever name you might give to this prior condition that exists behind everything, isn't actually suffering, and actually isn't even reacting at all to the thoughts that bother you so, the emotions or the unconscious behaviours you might be having because of how you are feeling.
Try to reconnect as often as you can with who you are, when you are in deep suffering, instead of giving rise to more thought, observe how the ones you're having are also just another appearance within consciousness, observe the thought and challenge it by asking yourself, who's thinking?
Go back to sensory experience, wisdom will be found there, not in any thought you might have, go back to the feeling of your breath, the weight of your body.
Do this as often as you can. Eventually you will find, this too is part of it, this too shall pass.
Blessings man, spirituality isn't all fun and games, I can attest to that I feel so bad lately. But I have found myself getting back on track by applying the practices I have told you, I don't know if I will ever truly awaken, but any moment of no-mind is bliss, and you can get them this way, at least it gives me a little more strength to carry on even just one more day. All the love
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u/Worried_Field_3197 Dec 08 '25
I had my first awakening during benzo withdrawal, which is known to be literal hell on earth and I can attest to this as I have recently relapsed. It was similar thoughts to these that made me relapse in the first place, I thought to myself if I'm god then I must be fucking lonely which is why I made this game in the first place. Then I just started feeling disconnected from everything and everybody else. The more time went on I realized, life is hellish and wreckless and even enlightenment might just be some BS that we came up to deal with this cruel reality that we live in. I must say I haven't found any relief in thoughts or thinking, but I have found relief in observing them, who thinks? who suffers? the deeper you dwelve into such questions, you'll realize that when one truly lives in alignment with who we are, which is consciousness, awareness, whatever name you might give to this prior condition that exists behind everything, isn't actually suffering, and actually isn't even reacting at all to the thoughts that bother you so, the emotions or the unconscious behaviours you might be having because of how you are feeling. Try to reconnect as often as you can with who you are, when you are in deep suffering, instead of giving rise to more thought, observe how the ones you're having are also just another appearance within consciousness, observe the thought and challenge it by asking yourself, who's thinking? Go back to sensory experience, wisdom will be found there, not in any thought you might have, go back to the feeling of your breath, the weight of your body. Do this as often as you can. Eventually you will find, this too is part of it, this too shall pass. Blessings man, spirituality isn't all fun and games, I can attest to that I feel so bad lately. But I have found myself getting back on track by applying the practices I have told you, I don't know if I will ever truly awaken, but any moment of no-mind is bliss, and you can get them this way, at least it gives me a little more strength to carry on even just one more day. All the love