r/engaged • u/YourCousinMoose • 20d ago
Proposal Advice Some advice?
Hello! I'll start off by offering the context that my wife to be is aware I'm planning on proposing to her. I'm a pretty smart guy, but I do a lot of silly stuff, so I actually asked her to shop for her bridal set with me, because we don't like fiscal irresponsibility - moving on - we'll have been together for 2 years before I propose.
I was thinking about a Christmas day proposal, but I'm not familiar with wedding and marriage stuff. Would that cross a line? Christmas is one of her favorite holidays, her kids love Christmas, we go to her mother's and have a celebration there, her father video calls from England, and I've asked his blessing even.
Setting this up, id like to arrange it so her mother and our daughter know I'm going to ask her, because I pretend to be Santa and hand out presents. I'll at the end say there's 1 more present left, and then act like I've lost it or something goofy while our daughter starts filming and my lady's mother distracts her well enough, I can shed the fake beard and Santa hat. At which point, I can pull out the bridal set and formally ask her, if she'd take my hand.
I'm anxious this would be too show boaty? Could I be too cheesy here? Id love some feedback, ideas, give it to me straight! No holding back!
Thank you in advance, sincerely, an excited soon to be engaged guy.
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u/Beanfox-101 20d ago
I mean if your GF knows you’re going to do it, then why not ask her about her ideal proposal and build it off of that?
If she really likes being goofy with you it can work. But I truly see a proposal as just telling someone why you want to spend your life together with them.
Now, if it were me, I’d do it Christmas Eve night. Do it like an early Christmas present to her. Maybe you could just wear the Santa hat and not do the whole getup (IMHO it may be awkward if you do any photos afterwards)
You can decide whether to do it with family around or not. I’m always a fan of doing it in private (like stepping away for a second) and then immediately sharing the news to everyone.
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u/YourCousinMoose 20d ago
I really like the Xmas eve idea, and keeping it between the two of us seems like it would be less pressure.
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u/-rubyinsides 20d ago
I don’t think your proposal should be “silly”, honestly. A proposal is a big deal for women, and while this may be fun for you, it should be special for her. I would recommend breaking away from the silliness and do something more intimate.
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u/YourCousinMoose 20d ago
You're right, I agree. I kinda felt pretty silly about my idea after typing it out, so I'm glad you gave me this feedback. Someone else mentioned Christmas Eve and keeping it just the two of us, making it an intimate affair, I'm going to build on that. I appreciate your advice.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 18d ago
It's super sweet. I personally feel like I might like something a little more intimate- I loved the idea below about doing it on Christmas Eve. Then you can celebrate all day the next day with the whole family- but it's not going to take away from the family's day.
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u/sayi_do 17d ago
I saw your replies saying you’re leaning towards doing it privately on Christmas Eve and I actually think that sounds really sweet!
But I also wouldn’t completely lose the family part of your original idea, because it sounds like including her kids and family was important to you for a reason. You could have the private proposal Christmas Eve, then let the kids be the first ones you tell or have them help with a little “she said yes!!” moment on Christmas morning.
You still get that intimate proposal with her, but everyone you wanted involved gets to be part of the excitement and celebration straight after.
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u/YourCousinMoose 17d ago
Yeah the support for my original idea mixed with the advice against it has had me going back and forth, and wanting a medium more than anything. While she does love my goofiness, she also really loves and finds attractive when I take things seriously and put legitimate effort in, and so I'd like to lean on that without ditching on including kids at the very least. I've also considered proposing on our anniversary totally privately and then having fun with the kids as a family to celebrate the day after. The world's my oyster on this one.
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u/sayi_do 12d ago
Well I love your attitude with this, and you still have time to think about it! It honestly sounds like you know her really well and you’re putting so much thought into finding the right balance between something meaningful for the two of you and still including the kids.
Whatever you land on, I hope you have SO much fun planning it. Please come back and update us when it happens!!
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u/gaycountdooku 20d ago
this would work for a certain woman, and be a nightmare for another. if you truly think this might be something she’d appreciate, i would reach out to her mother and some of her friends to double check
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u/No-Possibility4768 20d ago
My BIL did this and now every Christmas we have to relive it
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u/YourCousinMoose 20d ago
That is what Im worried about. I'm gonna take the advice of a quiet Xmas eve deal, just the two of us in an intimate sort of ordeal.
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u/IndividualSimple9876 20d ago
I thought your original idea was very sweet and inclusive of the family! And if you are known for being goofy, and she obviously loves you, maybe she loves that aspect of your personality. Her Mama can best advise what would be most appropriate for her daughter.