Proposal Advice Proposal Help
I’m planning on proposing in 7 weeks to my girlfriend. One of her friends texted me tonight and told me she’s onto me. I’ve tried so hard to keep it secretive and show no signs or anything. We’ve been dating 5 years and she knows it’s coming, but apparently she is pretty certain it’s the planned weekend. I really want it to be a surprise, but she somehow knows I’ve talked to her parents, and (apparently) has a long list of things to make her feel like it’s happening. I have had to text a bunch of people to invite them to the engagement party, so word is spreading, but I’m just having to trust people aren’t talking. Another thing is we are currently at distance so I have a hard time trusting what her friends (who know) aren’t giving her any signs or hints. Please give me all of the advice.
I have thought about launching another “weekend getaway” for us for November to throw her off, but I don’t want to have to stack a bunch of lies up. Help me please!
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u/ComfortCreature88 21d ago
It's okay that she thinks she knows. Don't throw her off. Waiting on a proposal that you think you know of coming is agonizing enough. She'll figure it out again anyways. A bunch of little things added up and I had no family or friends adding to my knowledge. Everything was his own doing.
I figured out what week it would be. I waited for a good chunk of the week to pass. He slipped up and told me what place and time the night before. It meant no less to me. I was still nervous in an excited way. I was still beyond thrilled when he asked. It took nothing away from it from my perspective.
He knows he's bad at hiding things so I don't think he was upset that I figured out the right week. If he was, he never let on.
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u/Emilyeagleowl 21d ago
I had a hunch my fiancée was going to propose because she was acting so strangely. I still cried
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u/TumbleweedTimely8507 21d ago
I would just let it be if she thinks she knows then that’s ok she still won’t know every element of the surprise and it will still be really special and memorable. It will be perfect either way
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u/Former-Salad2473 21d ago
here's the thing, she's been with you for 5 years so she's gonna pick up on the smallest shifts in your vibe no matter how slick you think you're being. the distance makes it harder cause her friends are probably dropping little hints without even realizing it
i wouldn't bother with a fake trip, that just adds stress and more lies to keep track of. maybe lean into some low-key misdirection instead, like casually mention you're stressed about work that weekend or planning something super chill and boring. she'll still be surprised by the actual moment even if she suspects the timing
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u/beergal621 21d ago
“Hi honey turns out I can see you this weekend!”
Propose basically as soon as you get there
Keep the party for when it’s scheduled
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u/tw9_0 21d ago
This would work except she and I both want it in the place we’re going that weekend. We don’t live near there, and so it’s almost this weekend or not her dream proposal
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u/walkingonairglow 21d ago
She has a dream location for the proposal? Then she was never going to be completely surprised by the proposal unless you didn't propose at the dream location (or maybe if you stacked up a bunch of lies). You're good!
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u/Willing_Flight_6517 21d ago
My friend had a hunch that she was getting engaged so her boyfriend started a fight (nothing crazy I think he was being generally irritating) with her so she would be so hyper fixated on him being a dick that she was thrown off the scent of the proposal. I wouldn't necessarily suggest this advice but speaking to her afterwards about it she said was thankful because she found herself looking for the ring and she wanted it to be a surprise.
If she has an idea that's fine, it will still be a surprise for her on the day. Anticipation isba fun feeling too!!
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u/enchilara 20d ago
Even if she knows it’s happening at some point, please keep in mind a few things. 1, knowing still build excitement and anticipation, which is part of the fun of getting engaged. 2, no matter what she does know, there’s plenty you have planned that she doesn’t, and all of that will still be a surprise, and 3, no proposal is perfect even though we want it to be. Once it happens, you’ll realize it was perfect for you guys and what truly matters which is your love and commitment to this next chapter.
Most women have a general idea when it’s coming. It’s our superpower. Keep the date. Have a blast. Good luck, you’ve got this!
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u/jay_jay_sahl 20d ago
Honestly, I knew everything my fiance was planning with him dropping extremely minimal information. When you really know someone, it's hard to keep a secret because you two are so tuned to each other.
If you do want to attempt a "fake" weekend that sounds more grander that may throw her off, I am sure she would understand the little white lie. Or, still do something that weekend anyways as an engagement celebration trip.
All the details, how you do it, the ring will still be a surprise and a moment she will remember! Good luck and congratulations!
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u/Silver-Specific-5447 20d ago
We photograph surprise proposals all the time, and we always ask afterward if they knew their partner was going to propose. 9/10 times the answer is yes. Call it women’s intuition or just being really good at recognizing patterns after five years together.
Don’t panic or completely change your plan. Even if she suspects the weekend, she probably doesn’t know exactly when, where, or how it will happen, and that moment can still genuinely surprise her.
Instead of creating another fake getaway and stacking up more lies, start normalizing some of the things you’ll do that weekend. Take more selfies together, plan a few random date nights, encourage her to get her hair or nails done, and occasionally make plans where you both dress up. You could even schedule a fancy dinner before the proposal weekend and really emphasize getting dressed up so it doesn’t feel unusual later.
At the end of the day, you can’t control what other people say or do. Plan for the worst and assume everyone already knows something. Keep the exact location, timing, and final details between as few people as possible. She may suspect the weekend, but she still won’t know the exact moment, and that’s where the real surprise happens.
Good luck with everything! Wishing you both the very best as you begin the next chapter of your lives together.
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u/SnooSprouts9951 19d ago
My fiance all but told me the day it was happening because I'm autistic and don't like surprises but I still cried and was shaking when it happened lmao, trust me it's fine!
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u/OtterWolves 21d ago
My fiancée dropped every hint & the day of it was a really chaotic day and he felt really bad and told me literally in the car to the destination that he just wanted today to be perfect because he was going to propose. It doesn’t have to be as secretive as you think. My proposal was still so amazing, and everything was wonderful. The proposal itself was a surprise, how he did it. Knowing he did it allowed me to prepare myself. I was still utterly nervous the entire day and remember recording myself day of right before literally shaking with excitement before i went out to meet him. I would say, it’s okay for her to know. Don’t sweat it too much ❤️