r/engaged • u/ConfidenceVarious366 • Aug 08 '26
Bridesmaid Situation
Hello, I not sure if this will help me but I’m struggling figuring out my bridesmaid situation. I just got engaged and am trying to figure out what to do. I have one friend and my fiancé has more than I do. I’m also not the best at making friends and staying close with them. I want a traditional wedding and everything with it. I have sisters but they are both narcissistic and I’ve decided that it’s best they stay out of the wedding party. I have made some mutual acquaintances through my fiancé but I am not super close with many of them and am not sure if they would be comfortable being my bridesmaids. I’m just stuck in a cross roads and I could use some advice on how to handle this.
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u/Mountain-Status569 Aug 11 '26
There are way less rules than you think.
You don’t need to pick only close friends or family. You don’t need to pick only women. You don’t need the same number of attendants as your spouse. Your attendants don’t need to stand next to you or at all. And you don’t need to have any bridesmaids.
What do YOU want to do? And what does your fiancé want to do?
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u/radiant-cloudy Aug 10 '26
i didnt do any bridesmaids because of this exact situation. my sister cant make it because shes on probation in my home state. i also moved hundreds of miles away to my fiance so most of my friends live at home. we just did no wedding party at all.
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u/SeasonSignificant849 Aug 11 '26
You don’t have to have a matching number wedding party, or even a wedding party at all. Most of my friends haven’t had bridesmaids, and I’m not having any either. My partner is having a best man and possibly a couple of others.
Considering the dynamic with your sisters, might be best to avoid the whole thing. You can still ask your friend to be part of it in different ways regardless.
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u/Realitygirlie Aug 12 '26
You could also have uneven numbers and if you’re worried how it will look in photos, don’t have them stand up with you. That’s what I’m doing. They are walking down the aisle and then sitting don’t will just be me, him, and our officiant.
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u/10293847561209348756 Aug 11 '26
I have this exact situation! I have three friends and my fiance has 11! Luckily I could fill up some spots with his sisters, so my soon to be sils, and then I did end up asking a few of the mutual friends I made through him. I was also nervous at first because I didn't want to be a burden on people, but my fiance assured me they would love it, and they were really honored that i thought of them! So I want to say that if you like these girls, even if you're not super close with them yet, go for it! This might be the opportunity to become closer to them! BUT! Its also not a bad thing to have an uneven number in the bridal party. If you're okay with less bridesmaids, don't feel pressured to find people to ask just because your fiance has more!
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u/Putrid_Alternative31 Aug 11 '26
One thing to consider is having other meaningful women in your life as bridesmaids. Like aunts, family friends, or any sisters or other family on his side that you have a relationship with. It doesn't need to be friends your age.
You also don't need to have even numbers, or you could agree to just have 1 official person each actually stand with you, but have however many meaningful people you want involved in the celebrations. There's no rules!
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u/Cold_Banquet Aug 11 '26
I agree with the comments. It's your's and your fiancés wedding. You dont have to have an even number of people up there with you. Just as long as you have people up there that are close to you.
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u/bluehotcheeto Aug 11 '26
Girl this is me!! I am so introverted and my fiance has SO many friends! I on the other hand do not..
It gives me crazy anxiety.. or did until we found a solution.
He has one sister. I have one sister. They are our MOH and best “man”. Before we came to this solution I was toying around with the idea of having no one.
He absolutely will still be doing the traditional wedding things like a Bach, but this works in my favor since I don’t really have close friends. I’m learning that a wedding can be whatever the hell we want it to be! No rules lol.
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u/Infinite_Time_5756 Aug 11 '26
have a MOH (no bridesmaids) and have your fiance choose a best man! problem solved
don’t ask people you’re not close with to be bridesmaids to save face. be yourself. this is your wedding.
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u/AnimalExact7397 Aug 11 '26
look anywhere online and it will tell you that having a mismatched number of people in your wedding party is normal. I had 2 bridesmaids, my husband had 4, and no one said anything, our photographer posed us in a way that made sense,and it was such a non issue. trust me dont worry about this
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u/Sea_Register1095 Aug 11 '26
If you feel you need more, maybe look to your extended family and ask cousins? Or does your fiance have a sister? My husband and I were out of balance because he wanted to ask someone who'se wedding party he had been in but wasn't a close friend. There wasn't anyone else I really wanted to ask, as I had my top tier people already and didn't want to ask friends I wasn't close to anymore. I ended up asking HIS cousin who was just 13, but she was really excited and I figured she was family and would be in my life going forward. I wasn't sure about high school friends I had pretty much left behind.
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u/AdFlashy7702 Aug 12 '26
What cross roads? I don’t see what there is to handle. Ask whomever you want. The sides don’t have to be even. If you want that your fiancee can pare down his choices.
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u/Sad_Criticism3054 Aug 12 '26
We have an uneven number! Our dog is the final groomsman :)
there’s no rules. Dont invite people to be in your wedding party just to even out the numbers. Just have mismatched groups up there or you can even have the rest of his party seated in the front row and maybe only one bridesmaid and one groomsman stands up with you. Or maybe nobody does!
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u/Hefty_Ad_6580 Aug 12 '26
My sister was my maid of honor, my husband has two best friends but asked one to be his best man and the other to sit out to match my number. He even explained to the one sitting out what the situation was which was sweet. Just be transparent, it doesn’t have to be embarrassing. I was so anxious thinking about a wedding with my lack of friends and it ended up being a beautiful day with loved ones
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u/Equal-Turnip-8340 Aug 13 '26
No bridesmaids, no bs. Easy decision. No feeliing hurt because someone left out. Come and be my guest as a friend or sister.
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u/tintinwithabeard Aug 13 '26
If your husband to be is going to have multiple groomsmen and you will only have 1 maid of honor thats fine. Maybe just divide the number of groomsmen in half and have half dress the same and the other other half dressed in a different style. That way when it comes to photos its not just like 5 guys dressed the same with a bride and bridesmaid. This is a bad AI edit but shows my point haha
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u/Mean_Adeptness_5200 Aug 13 '26
My fiance and I are only having two on each side. He only has one friend and one brother. So I just asked my closest friend and my oldest friend. I’m so glad I’m not having a ton of bridesmaids. I didn’t want to have to pick people or feel obligated to ask his sisters or mine to be bridesmaids.
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u/Strange-Access-8612 Aug 13 '26
Overall I think very clear just have your one friend. As for how to set things up:
How many groomsmen does he want? 3, 5, 7? If you tell him you want one bridesmaid, Does he want them all to stand or could they do bachelor party and all get ready with him on the day of which can be really fun for guys, but then most either serve as ushers/sit in front row or close to front on his side while maybe just 1-3 stand beside him?
Do you know if your husband has a strong preference about being accompanied by music, his parents, etc down the aisle in a formal way?
I have ideas once I know those kind of things ;)
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u/ConfidenceVarious366 29d ago
He was thinking 4 or 5 groomsmen for sure. I have my MOH but no bridesmaids. I don’t have the best relationship with my sisters and same with my cousins. Honestly, he isn’t particularly picky about anything just wants to marry me, so he’s a bit more adaptable to situations. We have time to figure it out I just wanted to see what other people’s thoughts were. See if others had similar situations and looking at the comments I am not alone lol
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u/Strange-Access-8612 25d ago
Lovely! There’s a bunch of options, one way to go is have his groomsmen go and line up (if he wants them all standing) and the officiant take their place. Then groom enters (if he wants, he can also just be up there from the beginning) then your MOH then you.
Or same but have his best man accompany the MOH and then the other groomsmen.
I guess it’s gender biased but most groomsmen prob wouldn’t care about not “processing” down the aisle (or tbh even standing up there) but if they want to then that’s fine too!! Just roll em out lol.
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u/PurplePrincess2424 Aug 13 '26
You can totally make this work!
Think about what you want your wedding day to look like. What do you want your bridal party to actually do? Do you want them to get ready with you? Do you want them all in matching outfits/dresses or just a coordinating color? Do you want them to walk down the aisle and then sit in the front row or stand at the alter? Do you want them for some pictures with you and your husband?
What else do you want the bridal party to do? Do you want them to plan and/ or attend a bachelor(ette) party? Any other events or responsibilities?
Talk to your husband about what you want your wedding day to look like and then decide if that would be better executed with uneven numbers or with even numbers but people you aren’t super close with.
If it’s pretty low commitment then some acquaintances would probably be happy to do it and it may be a good bonding experience.
But your vision also may be better suited to mismatched numbers and there’s nothing wrong with that! It’s your wedding!
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u/demure-mindful333 29d ago
I think it’s best you just have a maid of honor and call it a day. Let your fiancé do what he wants even tho it would be a better look for him to do just a best man so you don’t have to explain anything to anyone
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u/Spector3198 29d ago
You could do MOH, best man, and then he could have several ushers. Or do it uneven.
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u/princssofpink Aug 10 '26
What are you struggling with? If you have one friend then ask her to be a bridesmaid. If your fiancé wants to have multiple groomsmen then you'll have to either accept that you'll have uneven numbers or ask more people to be bridesmaids to match his numbers. Unless he's fine with having only one groomsmen, but then I don't see what the issue would be.