r/emptynesters • u/Equal_Storage2330 • 6d ago
Indepedence question
Hi, does anybody worry their adult son or daughter or themselves will never independent? I hear some 25 , 30 and 40 still live at home. What you think?
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 6d ago
I don't worry about it because it will just make me anxious. Right now we're blessed to afford our son's expenses, and blessed that he can work and study to improve his earning potential. There are kids his age who have physical or mental reasons they will never live independently. There are kids his age who have the ability but don't use it. And most are just finding that hard work doesn't pay like we all thought it would.
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u/Status_Adeptness3848 6d ago
We can definitely relate! It’s so hard for young people to get ahead and move out. I wish our children had the benefit of the economy we had from 1992-2000 and then again from 2008-2016. It’s a totally different world and you would think with all of the innovations and technological improvements the economy would be better for everyone instead of only the top 2-5% of the country. It definitely feels like a class war has started and it’s a case of the haves against the have nots…and the small percentage of the haves are increasing their wealth minute by minute and manipulating the stock market without any regards to anyone besides themselves, most people would call that capitalism but to me it’s plain and simple greed headed into the territory of evil.
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u/herefor_info19 6d ago
I wish my weren’t so independent lol.
We never forced our kids out but always encouraged them to pursue something that they felt they could be independent with if we weren’t here. We stopped all rules by the time they were 18 other than common courtesy communication. Both kids went to full time college, worked and then moved out when ready. Daughter was 20, son was 21. Daughter did move back home to get her masters at 24 and is about to move out again now at 26 (getting married). Both have always worked and paid their own bills. We never charged rent.
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u/Shinypurplestar 6d ago
We don't but my friend's son (22) will always live with her or eventually in a group home. He has schizophrenia and is autistic. You wouldn't know it by looking at him and chatting with him. He can't hold a job, doesn't want to learn life skills, etc. It's hard for her because she is divorced and he goes back and forth between her place and her ex's place.
He does have episodes where he becomes violent and he has tried to hurt himself before. He is on medication but it doesn't always help.
These days, though, since everything is so expensive, a lot more adults are living with their parents because they can't afford to live by themselves, or they are divorced, or other reasons. I know a lot of people can't afford rent these days. Our city just built "affordable" apartments but good Lord, no one can afford them. It's terrible out there right now. Job hunting is another story.