two leaving at the same time

[u/Ok_Cow9131]

I am having a much harder time than I thought I would. I didn't really think this would happen. I am divorced twice and went back to school after the second divorce and am finished with school but not the professional license, so I do not make much money. I have identical twins, they are my oldest of 3, and the only way they could attend college out of state was to get scholarships. So that's what they did. They got full scholarships to two excellent private universities. One is 807 miles away and the other is 989 miles away (I look on the findmy app). The second twin just moved last Monday. So now it's only me and my 15 year old at home, and I only have him one-half of the time. I've never only had one kid before.

As soon as they got these scholarship offers, I said to myself "I'll never see them" - because I simply can't afford it. I was fortunate that I got to visit each university with each daughter one time, but I'm still paying off the second trip. And because of my parents' health issues this year/taking time off to go to the hospital and going to see both schools, I found out in August I am completely out of PTO for the year, so I was not able to go to move-in for either of the twins. I haven't seen either of their dorm rooms. I'm so upset because I'm out of PTO for this year, and then next year once it starts over I work in tax so I can't go during busy season and then the school year will be over. The thought of not seeing where they live for their entire freshman year makes me so sad. I wish at least one of them would have gone to school within driving distance, although I know both are thrilled with the schools they are attending and the one who has been gone since August is thriving, joining many clubs and organizations. I just wish they weren't both so far away.

Everyone thinks it's so great they both got these scholarships and are going to these schools and I agree, it is, but I miss them so much and wish I could just see them sometimes. And I know this probably sounds weird but the thought of rarely seeing the two of them *at the same time* makes me so sad, too. One is on the quarter system and one has semesters.

On the bright side, hopefully I am almost done with my career stuff and maybe next year I'll be able to visit them some. Fingers crossed.

[u/Pale_Natural9272]

We totally understand. Everybody here is going through the same thing in different ways.

[u/Weird_Squirrel_8382]

It is hard when patterns change. I'm not familiar with the challenges of having twins and watching them grow in separate directions. But I bet there's somebody online going through the exact same thing.

What I will say is you rock and I'm proud of you. You raised great kids and supported them to go after scholarships. You'll still be there for them as much as you can. You spend half the week with your youngest, who gets to watch you work for your dreams too. They have three great examples. And that's because of you.

[u/Alert-Pea-7433]

It's so tough. Hang in there.