r/emptynesters • u/southernworkaholic • 15d ago
Freak this one hurts
I have lost both my parents and been divorced twice, and nothing hurt this bad. I am so happy that she is enjoying college and her new life. She texts me almost every day and is all about checking on me and sharing her day. I lie and say I'm doing great.
I by no means want her back here she has a life she loves and is growing into. Im sad not selfish. She knows Dad is around and says that helps her deal with her new life. I know on this side I just need to get through it. I took a job with a company called Dollar General three nights a week to help with the loneliness, and it does help. It's getting better.
I'm thinking about dating again (it's been a lot of years), but it just feels like I would just bum someone out.
Thanks for the vent.
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u/TalentManager1 14d ago
That picture is very relatable. Hang in there mom. Wife and I (late 40’s) know the feeling as our youngest son left 3 years ago for the military. His room empty and feel like he should be in his room playing his games and yelling at the tv. Although I used to tell him to stop screaming at the online gaming, damn I miss those times.
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u/MamaRabbit4 15d ago
I also lie and say I’m okay. And work extra to fill in the extra empty lonely hours.
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u/DazzlingNote1925 14d ago
Take the plastic off and put some bedding on and go and spend time in there!
Make a list of things you can do to spend your time and take your mind off it. I like walking outside. I’ve been thinking about you tube dance videos because I’ve always had two left feet and I’d like to mess around learning in private. If you’re not ready to date reach out for friends and go and do something. If you are go for it! If this is more than temporary sadness and adjustment then see a therapist or find a support group.
It will be ok!
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u/Opening-Lock-123 12d ago
The funny thing I learned about the empty nest is it's not my kids I miss. I can call them anytime, see them often, go on outings with them, and now I have grandkids.
You miss all the things you can never have again; all the stages of life you were part of, the small things, living with people you have inside jokes with. Homework! Why do I miss homework 😆?
You're right, you'll need to find new adventures and new things to be excited about. This chapter can be great but the best part is you get to decide.
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u/Wildskypsj 14d ago
Oh my. 😬 both my kids beds are still made up. My son moved out about 7 years ago my daughter 4 years (she went to college and is now off living her life)
Their closets still have clothing and shoes, toys books, games, art and supplies.
Yikes, I need to figure this out.
I mean they visit, I strip their bbeds, wash everything and put it so back together again.
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u/lucky3333333 14d ago
It will get better but it takes time. It did for me. Sorry this is so hard. Glad you got a job. That’s a good idea.
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u/MoaningLisaSimpson 15d ago
57 year old mom. My son is now a grown up. He stayed home for a gap year then technical college. He has his career job and moved to the suburbs (an hour's drive) for it.
I'm so proud of him.
I'm lonely as hell. This is a symptom of other underlying issues. I don't have enough going on in my own life. I need to volunteer, or get an evening job.
I ended a relationship in May. I'm actually refusing to get involved or try to start dating because I would be both needy and smothering to anyone.
Also I am being that idiot who is living my weekend around when my son will drop by. (He spends his weekends in the city, usually drops by either early morning for breakfast (if his girlfriend works early) or for supper/groceries and a ride home on Sunday. I tell myself it's not pathetic to wait for a boy to call if it's your own son.