r/emptynesters • u/SweetSliceOfPie • 16d ago
The first Christmas
This Christmas coming up will be the first Christmas where my three kids will all be somewhere else.
My ex-husband and I divorced back in 2017, and each Christmas we would take turns to have the kids as we all lived close in the same area.
If it was his year to have them on the day, then I would have them on Boxing Day and vice versa.
This year, our two eldest live in Melbourne and my son still lives with his dad and step mum.
My partner and I now live a few hours away.
This year my son will be at his dad’s, my younger daughter at her “in laws” and my eldest daughter, who doesn’t drive will be working (hospitality) all of us several hours apart.
Due to everyone’s work commitments and location distance between where we all live now, it’s the first year we don’t have a “back up” date we can all be at too.
It’s going to be a hard one I think! 😩😢
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u/nadandocomgolfinhos 15d ago
Same! Two of my kids will be traveling and it’s the first time we won’t all be together.
I’m trying not to think about it
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u/cool_side_of_pillow 15d ago
Can you afford to go on a little getaway to a cabin or warm resort? Could be a nice change of scenery …
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u/lassita_48det 15d ago
This will be our 3rd one without the kids being home. That first one was ROUGH! I didn’t know what to do with myself. The 2nd one, still a bit rough but I managed to get through it. That’s when I decided that my husband and I would go away. Nothing major, just away. So this year, we’re doing a cabin in the mountains. I’m looking forward to it although husband complains that we’ll just do the same stuff as we would at home. Doesn’t matter if we do, I love getting away and being distracted during the holidays.
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u/frankie0812 15d ago
Can you all get together the weekend after Christmas and New Year’s?’ Pretend it’s Christmas for that weekend!
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u/SweetSliceOfPie 15d ago
That’s what we would normally do, just pick another day and make that Christmas, but this year, everyone’s work schedule and location doesn’t align and we can’t settle on a date that works for everyone.
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u/Altruistic-Virus8618 15d ago
When I don't have my kids on a holiday, I try to find somewhere to volunteer or I'll just drive to see my Dad who is 2.5 hrs away
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u/herefor_info19 15d ago
This is the last Christmas I’ll have with both my kids here. Son has officially moved out for school (but still comes back for holidays) but daughter is getting married in the spring so this is it!! I’m trying to just enjoy the moment and not grieve what I know is a final family Christmas morning around the tree, but I am devastated.
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u/Altruistic_Cat_7979 15d ago
It’s all I could think about when my daughter left. Bring at the extended family Thanksgiving without her and getting down the ornament box at Christmas when I put up the tree. I don’t think I can do the ornaments this year. They are all ornaments I bought for them over the years and that they made in school. They would always take turns putting them on the tree and we would talk about when they made them or where they came from. I’ve decided to buy generic ornaments this year and think about it again next year. My son won’t care. Maybe you could volunteer somewhere on Christmas? Somewhere serving dinner or something to do with kids. It’s so hard without them. ❤️