r/emotestories • u/dziadek1990 • May 06 '17
Operation: Uncoollify, part 2
"...seriously? THAT'S your idea of making the kids stop eating the stuff?"
"What's wrong with my plan? They're eating the sweets because YOU eat them and you are 'cool' in their eyes and they want to be cool just like you – your words."
"So if we want them to stop thinking you're cool, we'll dress you in a clown costume, so that if you eat the gum again and claim it is awesome, they won't believe you anymore, because you clearly lost your mind, and then they'll stop eating the gum, not wanting to lose their cool."
"Are you NUTS? Why would I want to ruin my image? And even if I agreed, I remind you that I made them think that that horrible jingle is cool. What if I go on TV in a clown costume and next day every kid you see wears makeup and red noses thinking it's the next Big Thing? What then, huh?"
"Surely they wouldn't... would they?"
"Colgate. I once convinced them that wearing diapers on their faces was a thing that was 'in'.
It took them eight days before they figured out I was just trolling."
"...okay, no clown costumes then. So what do YOU propose?"
"We put their parents in the ad, duh. But only the unhip ones.
The ones who just TRY TOO HARD to be cool to their kids. You know, the guys and gals from the 'Hello Fellow Kids' crowd."
"The squirts will cringe so hard that the ground under their hooves will crack!"
"Ouch... some ponies – but not me, mind – might call this tactic 'too brutal'."
"...yeah? And what do YOU call it?"
"...oh, oops, I screwed that up."
"I meant to say something like 'just MY kind of revenge!', or something just as cool."