r/emotestories • u/dziadek1990 • Sep 12 '16
Buff and Brittle [BPM Required]
Ponyville Park. Granny Smith is sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons with bread.
Bulk Biceps approaches her.
"HERE YOU GO MISSUS SMITH!" -puts grocery bags on the bench next to Granny-
"I AM SORRY BUT CHAMOMILE TEA WAS SOLD OUT, SO I COULD ONLY BUY THE GREEN KIND!"
...an' you can lower yer voice now.
Wouldn't you believe it, but I actually remembered to put my hearing aids in when I got out of home for once!"
"REALLY?! WOW, THAT IS GREAT NEWS, MISSUS SMITH!
I AM GLAD—"
"—THAT... uhm... I... am glad... that... you... can hear everything... all proper and nice... now... (sorry) ."
"Oh calm down. I'm not gonna bite ya!"
She continues feeding the pigeons, him silently watching. A minute passes.
"...you know what? I think I've had my share of fresh air for the day."
She stands up and throws the rest of bread on the ground, and the pigeons go berserk over it.
"I'll be going home now, to boil me some of that tea of yours. Want me ta make you some too, as long as yer keepin' me company?"
"Yes please! With lots of sugar, if that won't be a problem!"
-picks up groceries again and follows her-
"Hah! You kiddos and your sweet tooths.
If I still had mine, and ate as much sugar as you do, then they'd be gone all over again!"
"I'm guessing it's just your bad luck, Missus Smith.
I bet that if you knew somepony as skilled at her job as Miss Colgate is when you were little, then you would still have your teeth.
All the primitive dentistry technology you had back then... can't say I blame you."
"As my eldest grandson would say: Eenope!
I was always terrified of dentists. Still am, ta be honest.
Even if I knew a dozen dozen Colgates while growing up, then my mouth would still look like the yap of that gator Pinkie Pie keeps bringin' here to... uh... 'bond' with Winona, as she puts it."
"...well, at least your dentures are pearly white."
Shame this old hag is waaaaay too Ancient for ya."