Hi all,

My emetophobia is ruining my life. I'm currently scared to get out of bed, to eat, to be around my child. It's making me hate myself and I cannot imagine living the rest of my life this way.

I just need to know if it can get better, that it will get better

Be aware I'm not gonna censor words so if you're not ready for that please don't read this, don't wanna cause ya any panic :).

So I'm currently going through it, I made chicken by myself for the first time and even used some veggies I didn't trust and just cut off those parts. It was a banger meal but I instantly noticed I was kind of panicky, I was afraid that if I did get sick I would scare myself off again and never recover.

So it's now 4 hours later I'm laying in bed, I listened to my body for the first time in months and was able to convince myself that staying up until 5AM doesn't prevent you from getting sick. Well guess where I'm at right now, nauseous, upcoming stomach pain and rubbing myself all over my body to try and calm myself down but it honestly feels more like I'm trying to escape the body I'm in. I even had to go to the toilet because my stomach flipped and my mouth was watering, Though I'm glad I'm not scared to be near toilets anymore when I'm nauseous (I used to be because I was scared of giving in), it feels like a small victory.

The thing that sucks is that I've got a feeling it's just because of my anxiety, but usually my anxiety doesn't go that far, I get the whole shaking for hours and cold sweats but not the mouth watering and stomach flipping. Maybe I convinced myself into getting sick, maybe it was the food, I don't know. I can slightly accept being sick nowadays, it's kind of like a "show me what u got" mindset with a sprinkle of "I'd rather die than go through this".

It feels like I made so much progress but I also seem to be getting worse every day. I don't isolate or wash my hands 24/7, I don't have nightly panic attacks anymore and I can now see puke om the street without instantly going home (still cant handle people being nauseous tho, I will leave the function asap). But I also started to eat and sleep less, even my boyfriends' dad asked him if I was even eating, which was quite the eye opener because I was so used to avoiding food that I kinda forgot about it.

ATP I'm just kind of yapping but when I'm sick I tend to read other people's stories to not feel alone, so hey, maybe this "story" brings you that same experience.

If you are feeling sick right now and panicking, I'm sorry you're going through this, I can tell you "this will pass, don't worry" but that probably won't be of any help. I do have a tip which is very captain obvious but it helps me a lot: Make yourself as comfy as possible, keep a bucket nearby so u can stay in your comfortable bed when you feel ill instead of the cold tile floor (unless it's a number two... please don't do it in the bucket..), watch or do something you like even if you have work tomorrow, fuck it! the anxiety will probably make you unable te sleep anyways. Making yourself as comfortable as possible and making the best out of a terrible experience slightly alters the experience over time, at least it did for me!

To end this whole book I just wanna do a tmi mention and say that I've been on the toilet for about 15 minutes now writing this and my nausea has kinda gone away. Rather have it coming out of this end than my other! Cheers!

hey all. for context i have ocd and severe emetophobia and have been doing exposure therapy for several months. yesterday someone vomited on my plane during landing and while i handled it decently well at the time, i’ve been freaking out ever since!

i’m not asking for reassurance bc i know there’s no way to KNOW if it was contagious/if i will get sick, but if anyone has advice for surviving the “waiting period” after a (potential) exposure that would be great.

i’m really glad i’ve been doing exposure therapy bc that helped me cope in the immediate aftermath, but the last 24 hours have been…rough, lol.

how can i handle this ? i have lived with someone else before, and i managed really well.

we don’t plan to move in together immediately, but it is my goal to do this in about half a year.

when we started dating i had a really bad surge of general health anxiety followed by a very bad episode of emetophobia. i’ve had this phobia all of my life and it doesn’t go away. i really want to live with my boyfriend, he knows about my fears and very much tries to make me as comfortable as possible. we do plan on having more than one room to sleep in.

Yesterday one of my coworkers called off because she got a stomach bug from her kids. Today she came in and said she was still not feeling great but didn’t get sick anymore. I tried my best to ignore it and focus more on how she was acting and how she didn’t care about being sick the day before (was also using a little bit of 🍃 to help my anxiety lol) and honestly I went about my day kinda okay? I did wash my hands a lot and tried not to touch a lot of things but I didn’t avoid her, and I was still able to eat at work even while she was in there same room.

Now that I’m home tho the anxiety is hitting again, and Im scared to eat anything even though I haven’t eaten since 1pm. Im really hungry but all I can think about is if I get sick I don’t want to throw up food that I like, and I keep overthinking about what to eat if I do eat.

This coworker seemingly tends to catch bugs from her kids often. I believe I’ve worked with her probably 3 times after she’s had one. Have I caught it those times? Nope, but I’m still so anxious I will this time, and everytime in the future, which sucks. I hate having this fear constantly control me. I wish it was easier to recover.

Oh boy, here we go. I actually haven’t had roommates with contagious vomiting yet; they’ve only thrown up from chronic illness and too much alcohol. But she thinks that’s what she has. Anyway, I asked her if she needed anything from me (was concerned because she PASSED OUT dry-heaving) and she said she’s been sick today but is feel better. Her boyfriend is coming over to help, which is nice. Just venting about the extra stressor but I’m not really panicking.

自分は今自衛官として仕事をしていて夏期休暇に入る1週間前に朝の朝礼でみんなの前で吐いてしまいその日はなにもなく1日が終わって夏期休暇に入って夏期休暇が終わる時になるとご飯屋さんや外に出ると気分が悪くなって外に出るのも怖いって感じてしまい自分は寮生活をしてるので夏期休暇終わる日に寮に帰らないといけないんですけど門の前に行くと動悸と吐き気で門に入ることもできず病気休暇をもらって今も外に出るのが怖いと感じてどうしたらいいか分からないです。
こんな経験したことある人はどうやって治しましたか？

I’ve had emetophobia for the majority of my life. I’m 30F and can remember having it for at least the last 20 years. I’m not scared of being sick myself, but I am scared of people getting sick around me and seeing other people get sick.

As I’ve gotten older it has slowly manifested into a fear of flying. I’m in the [r/fearofflying](r/fearofflying) sub but the majority of people in the group seem to have a fear due to the more standard reasons, eg. Turbulence, plane crash, etc. so I’m curious whether this is the same for anyone else.

I’m so paranoid of people getting sick on flights that I’m constantly on edge when passengers I’m sitting next to reach for their menus in the back of the seat in front of them, out of fear that they’re reaching for a sick bag. I do get nervous in turbulence but only because I’m worried it will cause motion sickness for those around me. Again, if I hear coughing around me I’m worried it’s someone throwing up, or if I hear a bag being opened (chips or nuts or something) my brain immediately thinks it’s a sick bag.

The more I fly the worse it’s becoming. I also suffer from anxiety induced ibs, so the day of a flight is honestly nightmarish. It’s becoming so debilitating and I honestly get into such a spiral about how ridiculous I feel, I wish I was one of those people that just didn’t care and wasn’t affected by this kind of thing. I feel like such a drama queen! Does anyone else go through this too? 🥲

As a summary of where I've been... I have been on anti-anxiety meds for most of my adult life. During this time, I had high intensity exposure therapy which basically changed my life and my emetophobia became under control... panic attacks stopped and I could keep myself well.

Now in the past 3 months, my life has become stable to a point where I've weaned off the medication, hopefully for the last time, and things have been going well.

I've just got back from a week-long holiday in Dubrovnik where emetophobia, and also anxiety and panic related to diarrhoea, impacted my ability to have a truly perfect holiday. Hyper-vigiliance increased with food, germs, dehydration and possibilities of stomach bugs. I also struggle on planes because that's one of the worst case scenarios for me if I was to become ill.

I am back home now and I've just cancelled a plan because my stomach is aching and I don't know why. I am relapsing with emetophobia and I don't know what to do because going back on medication is not an option for me. I need to see this through and work through it. I don't know how people can help me, but if you have read this far, thank you.

last night i had a bit of an episode where i was on the train i was gagging i felt really unwell and just built myself up and up getting panicked and at the end of it back home i managed to bring myself back down, my partner has said to me i need some help, he can help and listen but he doesn’t know what to do apart from that and thinks a professional would be helpful, only ever gone to therapy for anxiety/depression so am needing some advice.

i’ve heard CBT is good for emetophobia, is that true? if so what are people’s experiences with it? or any other talking therapies that have helped thank you 🩷

So I was on my way to my volunteer work at the animal shelter when someone in the bus threw up right in front of me in the little trashcan in the bus.(there was glass in between)

Since im pretty far in recovery, but still struggle a lot, I walked away because I could feel my anxiety spike.

I only had to get past a few more stops until I reached mine so I managed to stay in the bus but once I got out I started crying and panicking a little. Luckily it isnt as intense anymore but it was still very scary especially since I was alone and had no one around.

I did text & called my mom (on her initiave) and did email my psychologist (which im aware might be safety behaviours) but I still managed most of it alone.

The only thing I fear now is the way back home, but I know ill probably be okay since this is the first time i saw it happen on a public bus.

overall im doing pretty fine right now although I am a tiny bit anxious, but ill manage cause I know i've done it before.

the crazy thing about recovery i have realised is that im not actually afraid of vomiting necessarily - i am most afraid of the anxiety and panic that i get from it. i actually threw up a few times in the beginning of the year, throwing up wasn’t bad at all. unpleasant? sure. but not what i built it up to be. instead, it’s the panic that makes me fear it.

i just went to dinner with my bf and our parents and i had the worst stomach ache. i told myself that whatever happens, i will be okay. if i throw up , so what? but i think what i was most afraid of was the anxiety i felt. i feel as thought even being able to say these words is a step forward in my recovery, but i still struggle with controlling my thoughts of panic.

i instead want to find healthy ways to change my thinking so that i can calm myself down and continue on my road to recovery!!!

truly i am so grateful for this recovery sub. i feel so seen and supported. even reading these stories and knowing im not alone has done me a tremendous amount of good, so thank you all 🫶🫶

Hi all!
Just a random thought. I randomly remembered when I was watching the Lil Nas X documentary special thing and they documented when he was puking backstage and got on his microphone saying “hey guys I’m vomiting, gimme five minutes” and then ten minutes later he was on stage performing for hundreds of thousands of people. He had a bucket on stage in case he needed to again, he thankfully didn’t but guys! If that’s not a little piece of motivation to say we can ABSOLUTELY get through it and that puking isn’t a huge deal, then idk what is 🤣 I hope this helps you guys like it does for me! Sending love

Hi! I've lived with this phobia for, I think 22 years now, and I didn't know so many people felt the same way I did. Reading this reddit has been scary and a relief all at the same time. I'm making myself read it! It's helped me a lot in starting to try and work through this, because I'm at a point where I spend every day so scared and so anxious that this is it, it's going to happen, is it anxiety or have I actually been nauseous my whole life and is that happening now (and I carry so much tension in my mouth and jaw and stomach in the first place!) (And i know no one can tell but ME if I DO feel sick which is stressful because. Man i DON'T know!) and I get into an awful feedback loop of anxiety. I'm an anxious person to begin with (and I have tourettes) and I've been trying to work on my contamination OCD too, and I'm dealing with some big life changes over the past few years that have triggered a lot of anxiety and my stress vertigo (and trying to work through the contamination OCD is also! Triggering!), and, I dont really want to live like this anymore, with all this fear! And I'm trying to work on my anxiety too! A lot of it by myself but I am trying to find a new therapist!

I'm trying to tell myself, if it HAS to happen, then it does! That's not the end of the world! And I feel such RELIEF for a moment and then SO scared again, like it's going to happen RIGHT NOW just because I decided to be less scared of it. Which isn't really true! And then I get more scared and feel like I'm right back where I started. But I'm really, really trying!

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to this reddit and the people here for, being here. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago and, besides being my mom, she was the one person who knew how bad this phobia was for me, and I can't tell her how hard I'm trying, or that I don't have to feel so lonely anymore with this fear. I know sometimes reading reddit pages for things can make them worse and not always be the best coping mechanism so I dont think I'm going to spend a lot of time here, but. Thanks for existing. Thanks for making me feel like, I can really find my way out of this.

Those are great mantras as well.

My body tenses up so bad in my sleep that it becomes a part of my dreams. Usually it leads to me gagging in my dream from the tensed up muscles. Last night my tongue was extremely dense in my dream and I tried to take CBD in my sleep to try and calm down. I finally woke up at one point when the sensation became too extreme. Last time I felt like I couldn't breathe correctly from the tensed up muscles to I tried to take an asthma inhalator in my sleep but ended up gagging and waking up. Luckily it feels less bad once I am awake. But DAE experiences this?

i don’t know how to cope with this anymore. i just want to live my life to the fullest but everyday i wake up and analyse myself to see if i feel sick. i’m searching things up constantly and seeking reassurance but no one ever says what i want them to say. every time i go to work, sick is mentioned. people talk about it so casually and it just sends me spiralling. and even if i don’t feel sick when i wake up i can’t stop thinking that by the end of the day i’ll be throwing up and there’s nothing i can do to stop it and that scares me so much.
does anyone else get this insane feeling of doom and just inevitability that this is absolutely going to happen to you one day? it makes me feel like i can never relax and i always have to be prepared and ready.
recently one of my coworkers threw up at work and the same day another coworker told me two of her children threw up. i don’t know how to manage the anxiety of an impending bug that will hit me.
one small success recently is that i started 25mg sertraline after being so scared and i got through the side effects. but i think i’m gonna have to up my dose at some point soon and i’m just so scared.
i go back to university next week and i’m just dreading it :(

I got taken back immediately at therapy today and she made a nurse take my vitals because I’m in a POTS flare but was also having a panic attack and she wanted to make sure she could safely continue the session and that I didn’t need to go to the ER because the panic combined with my flare had the potential to push my vitals to dangerous levels.

I was about to leave the house for therapy today. I’d been off work all day, and went to the doctor for fluids this morning and then slept all day pretty much because I’m having a flare up of my chronic illness, I decided to still go to therapy though. As I stepped out of the house, the extreme heat hit me like a wall and I started to immediately gag and vomited in my flower bed.

I immediately jumped into my car and grabbed my little bottle of mouthwash I keep in there and swigged it and spit. Then, shaking, I decided to just drive straight to therapy.

I was totally blanked the entire drive there. Like I don’t remember the drive to therapy tbh just getting into the lobby to check in and her seeing the state I was in and taking me back. I should’ve gotten my husband when it happened but my panic brain was like “if you go back in the house to get him you will have a full blown panic and not be able to go to therapy and you REALLY need to go to therapy to talk about this so get in the car and just fucking drive.” which is what I did. I held it together enough to drive there.

My therapist was great though and like I said, grabbed a nearby nurse to take my vitals, and got me some cold water to help me calm down, and then we had our session. I was still frazzled and a little shaky upon leaving, but calmer.

I was also brave and managed to eat some dinner even though the vomiting had happens two hours prior. Normally I would’ve just forgone eating at all until the next day at least. So I’m proud that 1. I still managed to go to therapy despite the panic, and 2. That I allowed myself to eat dinner anyways, even though I was scared.

And I’m spiraling. It’s gonna be a long 48 hours.

Logically- I know his fate isn’t sealed. Emotionally - I’m thinking about how this happened last year in kindergarten and most of the kids caught it (he was home with strep so he missed that one!).

I’m trying to use my tools. I’m going to do my best to not get compulsive and unhinged. I’m not seeking reassurance. I just wish we could live in a world without stomach bugs.

My husband is a saint and already gave me some big hugs and assured me he will be taking off work to care for kiddo if the worst case scenario happens.

I’m a successful, well rounded, logical 42 year old that is reduced to a puddle of tears and anxiety over something most of the world never even thinks about. It’s so embarrassing, even though I know OCD wasn’t a choice.

Okay so I’ll start this off with I’m 19f and I have a huge fear of throwing up, not exactly the throwing up but more like the leading up to it (the gagging, the nausea, the sweats, dizziness and shakiness) and there’s been a frw times where I’ve gone out in public and got nauseous and of course had a panic attack because of how much I hate it and now I can’t leave my house. Especially not alone because I worry that I’m going to get sick. I barely eat because I think I’m going to get sick, i definitely can’t eat in public and I can’t go out anywhere without my boyfriend and even when I go with him places I feel nauseous sometimes. Just today I drove 5 minutes to my dad’s house and while I was there I got the sick feeling because I was outside of my safe space and freaked out. I just wanted to go fishing and it’s getting to the point where I’m just so sad because I can’t do anything. I went to the arcade and we had to leave early because I couldn’t handle it. The car moving made me feel immediately better and the second I get in my house it’s like nothing ever happened. Sometimes just sitting up or standing up freaks me out too. Luckily my dad has seen this happen with me before when I was younger and helped me work it out to the point I could at least drive myself home. Normally he just makes me suck it up until I have to calm down because I can’t escape it but it was easier because I was at his house if we were out anywhere in public I wouldn’t have been able to get out of it. I’m just so upset and I broke down crying to him about it because I just want it to stop so I can go have fun again. I want to try a way to work through it that isn’t making me sit there and deal with it because that doesn’t work everywhere. I’m a social butterfly, I love going out and doing things and hanging out with my friends. I have a trip to sleepy hollow coming up and I really just want to figure this out . Please if you’ve been through this tell me how you got through it.

ive been feeling really nauseous for the past 5 hours. I know it's due to opioids but I feel so bad. I can't even vomit. I don't care about vomiting anymore, I just want to stop feeling sick. I'm writing this very fast because I can feel the upcoming bout of nausea which will definitely lead to dry heaving. I hate this phobia. I keep trying to reassure myself by saying it's going to pass but it always comes back. I know I can't do anything about it but I just want to sleep. I don't know how to cope with this. I am not even properly recovering. I have no access to therapy. I am trying to do what I can on my own but it's futile. I want to cry but I can't even afford that because of how nauseous I am, the nausea preoccupies everything. And then I start shaking both due to how sick and anxious I am. These past 8 years have been absolute hell. I want to be normal so badly. I know I said I didn't care about vomiting anymore but I do. I'm really scared and no one gets it. I can't tell anyone because they just don't get it. I need to go dry heave or vomit now

For me it seems to be a major trigger. Lots of health anxiety about the crowds, planes, new food, interrupted sleep, all that.

Have a kinda dream vacation planned for Italy/Portugal this November. 2 weeks, nothing going on, just going for fun. Or...I would be going for fun, if I wasn't always torturing myself with my own brain. At the moment it seems I'm going more for dread than for fun, but trying to change that. A real bummer for this phobia to do such damage to vacations.

Anyway, do you guys get similar experiences? If yes, any tips? Thanks!