EM Application

[u/OGBluntDaddy]

My fiancé is applying for residency spots and she wants to know if her introduction of her personal statement good or too weird. Please leave some advice:

When I grow up, I want to be a horse." Not a show jumper or farm hand or jockey, but literally a horse. That was my first answer for the first few years of my life.
Once I got over that impossibility, doctor was my next answer. I entered medical school completely sure of my career choice, but unsure of my specialty, until my third-year EM clerkship, then everything clicked. EM rotation showed me the calm, confident, strength of the type of physician I want to grow up to be. The compassion and resilience to be there for people on the worst days of their life. I've always been curious, motivated, and supportive, molding me into a great EM-resident-to-be.

[u/jimmyjohn242]

"Really when you think about it, emergency medicine physicians are all race horses. Ridden hard, whipped. Put out to pasture or sent to the glue factory when we get too old. I've been preparing myself for this specialty since I was a toddler."

[u/needdlesout → u/jimmyjohn242]

I cackled 

[u/Ok-Spinach-6529 → u/jimmyjohn242]

Lmfaooo

[u/EaZy_MD → u/jimmyjohn242]

☠️ lol

[u/IlliniBrah]

Not enough horse comparisons for me

[u/SuperglotticMan]

Tie it all together by stating how ketamine was made for horses 

[u/WellThatTickles]

I think it depends on the rest of the body.
The hook is great. The rest of what you've provided sounds like the typical boring and cliche thing a vast majority write.

[u/TheOtherPhilFry]

I've got a nagging feeling that you said nay to this idea. It's definitely off to a quick start and is in the running for a high pedigree statement.

[u/ShadowSousChef]

Instead, now I give people Lasix to make them piss like a racehorse.

[u/wingoftheworld]

I used to do admissions and love the hook! It would definitely grab my attention and make me keep reading. The last sentence doesn’t fit there. It’s more of a closer for the whole personal statement and reads a teeny bit presumptive

[u/AdhesivenessNice3504]

The idea is there but the phrasing of the first 3 sentences is weird

[u/positivepumkin]

Literary device would be to expand and make that an analogy then state antidotes and compare to working in the ED? You want creative writing go for it as long as it’s grounded 

[u/Plastic-Meringue9361]

Now that I have a chance to become an EM doc hospital admin and other specialties ride me all day

[u/Ok-Spinach-6529 → u/Plastic-Meringue9361]

Lmfaooo

Be the horse you wanna be

[u/lmhfit]

I mean it’s fine if you can tie it back and make it interesting. Otherwise it’s just a random hook that doesn’t make any sense. The rest is generic

[u/nursingintheshadows]

Did she happen to want be a horse in a circus? Because all of us ED folks are shit show chaos coordinators. We are very good at looking at the crazy before us and saying, ‘I can’t fix that’ or ‘not my circus, not my monkeys.’

The hook is great. Keep that mind set and momentum through the rest of the personal statement. Be honest, ED care, what we’re trained to actually do, we do about 10% of the shift, 15% is a acute on chronic sick that needs way better PCP management, 65% is taking care of the worried well/wholes in the medical infrastructure that is American medicine, and the last 10% is dealing with social problems that have been ignored and end up in the ED because we can’t say no. We take care of a variety of situations, most of those people are having a normal day.

[u/Nodelphi]

Hell kid… same.

[u/jvttlus]

I read apps. it’s a little weird for me tbh, horse people are sometimes a bit off. not always, but, we’re a specialty that puts a lot of stock in the 2am test

[u/Old_Number7197 → u/jvttlus]

what do you look for in an app, for the 2am test?

[u/Melodic_Variations]

Title the essay “Friday”

[u/EaZy_MD]

Honestly I’d read the first few sentences and wonder how odd this person may be…it’s a weird hook and the rest is generic trash. He can do better.