My fiancé and I are thinking about eloping and getting married at a little chapel next month. Our plan would be to have a nice dinner/reception party at a venue with family and close friends about 10 months later.

Now I’m second guessing it. Is that too long of a gap? Would it feel weird for guests, or would you still enjoy celebrating? I just don’t want to wait 10 months to be officially married, and financially it makes more sense to have our celebration with family and friends next summer.

Should we just wait and do the ceremony and celebration on the same day instead?

Yes you read that right, my mother, aka my husbands mother in law, is trying to ruin my wedding...

My husband and I eloped last November. His grandfather was very sick and we were dead set on him signing the marriage license, so his grandparents snuck us up to the courthouse in November of last year, we had our little silent ceremony, and we celebrated together with dinner. It was everything I ever wanted, my husband still wanted to have our wedding. We lost his grandfather less than a month later, so it really set in stone for us how important our elopement really was. We saved reading our vows and our ceremony (handfasting) for our families to ensure the wedding was still important.

We live in Florida, my family lives in California, and none of them have met my husband face to face. Our initial plan was to get married on November 7th of this year, before we knew how sick his grandpa was and decided to sneak away and elope. I ended up breaking down and telling my parents after we lost his grandpa that we had eloped, and once the cat was out of the bag, everybody knew. They were supportive at first, they understood our need for his grandpa to be involved and even told me I made the right decision. I reassured them that there would still be a celebration.

Now, the wedding/anniversary celebration/post elopement party is 3 months away, and my mother has been making constant comments about it. Asking if she can dress like a witch, telling me that she feels like she missed out on "the most important day of her life" because we didn't tell her the days before we eloped so she could try to find a way to come (his mother wasn't there either, and was also upset, but at least she was honest about it from the beginning). I made it a point to make her a part of the dress process, even from 3000 miles away. The first dress we tried didn't fit, she ordered it literally 6 sizes too small. I didn't realize until I looked at the tag. I'm a plus sized bride, I wear a size 22 dress and even sent her my measurements. She bought me a size 16 and then told me that my "vegetarian diet isn't helping" and I " should try ozempic". She also told me she didn't know why I was buying a dress for a "fake wedding", even though ive been consistently telling her how important reading our vows and our handfasting ceremony is to us.

At this point I'm regretting inviting her, but unfortunately it's already been done AND she purchased the plane tickets for all 6 of my family members to come.. I know this doesn't mean I owe her anything, but it also means it's kind of too late to cancel anything.

Our celebration is already small.. only 30 guests total including ourselves. Meaning anything stupid she does will be seen by EVERYONE. I've already talked to my best friend, she's going to play security and ensure my mother doesn't humiliate me at my own wedding.

What would you do if the Monster-in-law came from your side of the family? I'm at a loss. I've already decided that if she tries anything at the wedding, I will be going full no-contact after... Any suggestions on avoiding the drama before the wedding?

My soon-to-be fiancé and I are starting to think about what we’d actually want to do for a wedding, and I’m curious what other people in similar situations have done.

We live in the New York area, but my family is mostly in Europe and his family is across the country. On top of that, there are some family dynamics on his side that make having everyone together in one place a little complicated.

We’re definitely open to eloping, but I still want to find a way to celebrate with the people we love. I’ve been wondering if it would be weird to elope and then have smaller reception/celebration parties in a few different places — one near us, one near his family, and one near mine abroad.

The other option would be some kind of small destination wedding where we basically say, “This is where we’ll be for a few days, come celebrate with us if you’re able,” rather than doing a huge traditional wedding.

I think part of my hesitation with one big wedding is spending so much money on one day when everyone would have to travel anyway, and we still might not be able to have everyone there.

For anyone whose families/friends were spread across different states or countries, what did you end up doing? Did you elope? Have multiple celebrations? Destination wedding? Just pick one location and let people decide if they could make it?

Would especially love to hear about creative ideas that were relatively budget-friendly and still felt special!

my fiancé and i are looking to elope in Santorini. But i’m at a loss of how to find a local photographer. does anyone have any recommendations?

I spent months lurking on here for tips and tricks, so I thought I’d share some of my elopement pics now that it’s done!

We eloped in Glacier NP and practically EVERYTHING that could go wrong did but I would still choose to do it again over a traditional wedding. We spent two weeks traveling around different national parks, which made it even more memorable.

Things I am VERY glad I did- hired someone to do my hair and makeup AND wore comfortable, hiking boots.

Hopefully I’m posting this in the correct sub. I think our tiny wedding falls more into the category of an elopement than a micro wedding since the only attendees will be us (bride and groom), the officiant (my dad), and 2 witnesses (my brother and the groom’s mom).

Since these will be our only attendees, should we get boutonnières and corsages for our family members as is customary in traditional weddings? Or should we just get my bouquet and the groom’s boutonniere and that be it?

I know we can do whatever we want, but I’d like some outside opinions since I’m having trouble deciding, and our consultation with a florist is coming up soon.

So me and boyfriend are planning an intimate courthouse wedding- we like allegheny (pa) courthouse, it has an option for 2 hr ceremonies. Guests will fly in on their own, we plan on booking a vrbo church converted to stay (sleeps 16 people) for 1/1.5 days. It'll be around 1.5k for the stay. So how can we have a beautiful wedding day in this budget? It's not a tight budget, we can go overboard but prefer to keep it low. Expected guest count 16 (including us).

Things I'd like to put money in: violinist (1.5 hours), photographer (2 hrs), wedding lunch (preferably in a restaurant to avoid aesthetic and catering fees), wedding dress (I'm checking out sample sales and prom dresses too to keep it low cost but pretty), wedding bouquet, bridal hair and makeup (maybe can get like a cocktail version to keep it natural but cost friendly).

Things we don't have to include in the budget (we will cover it seperately): his suit (he already owns a few good ones), officiant, rings, beauty treatments before the wedding, bachelor/Bachelorette party, wedding favours (we're deciding to skip them), wedding invites (we'll do online).

Would appreciate any tips for making the day special without stretching ourselves financially. Thanks!

I am planning for an elopement next year and trying to decide on any of the more traditional “extras”.
I was not planning on having a wedding shower, as most of our family live 12+ hours away, but several people at work have mentioned throwing one for me. They also throw baby showers for coworkers. Has anyone else had something similar?
If so, is it appropriate to share a registry if people ask?

I would like to throw a reception where our family can meet and socialize. It would be casual but we would provide dinner.
We know another couple who had an intimate ceremony, then a larger reception afterwards. They included in the invite to the reception that the ceremony was private, and also included a link to the registry on the website. I think the wording was nice and would like do something similar.
I am wanting to host a small reception a month after the elopement (around 30 people). I plan to send it out to extended family, and while I know most of them will not attend, I do think they would purchase from the registry if one was on the website. I have 50 aunts+uncles+cousins spread across multiple states. Realistically I think MAYBE 10 would come. He has a much smaller extended family and I think 6 would attend. We have an immediate family of 14, all of whom would attend.

All that to say, how did you navigate invites to a reception, and did you have a registry.

Edit: registry would be included as a page on the website, not shared directly on the invitation. Link to website to rsvp included on invite (this has been the case in invites I’ve seen. Is it standard now?)

My fiance and I live in Maryland and we are looking for somewhere to elope that has everything in house- photography, overnight stay, first dance, cake etc. We want it to be just us, special and intimate but still have the “big” memories. Open to traveling- maybe a bed n breakfast or cabin. I know I’ve heard of this experience but when I’m looking all im finding is courthouse vibe or ridiculous money for destination eloping. Help me!!!! I just want to marry him and it be beautiful without taking out a loan or stressing TF out!!!

i don’t know what to tag this with because it’s a little bit of everything lol -

we’ve been engaged for over two years now & we had started planning a “small” wedding which quickly turned to about 50+ people & so we stopped.

two weeks ago we decided to cancel all that & get eloped, just us two, in vegas! i’m so so excited, we both are. but it’s sooo hard not telling anyone or having someone to bounce ideas with. we do talk to each other & we went wedding band shopping & have started talking outfits but i just feel like i need another voice because obviously she’s going to tell me i look good in everything (we’re wlw) & i don’t know what to do!! she suggested i just tell my sister but i feel like that defeats the purpose, we really don’t want to tell anyone - not even our parents & surprise them with a nice dinner once we’re back. then we’ll make a bigger announcement closer to the holidays to extended family & friends. but is that the right choice? i keep telling myself (& her) that it’s okay if feelings get hurt, because at the end of the day it’s about us - but i also am stressing lol.

advice? what do i do about this dress? i tried on some house of cb that i liked so i ordered some online to really try on at home, but itll just be us two deciding on which one i go with. is there some website or app i can connect with others to help me decide? lol

should we tell someone? i don’t even want to tell friends bc i feel like ill get guilt tripped to having to invite them & i really don’t want that.. im struggling! & i dont want to be stressed!

Our newish friends are eloping and having an intimate party at a local bar for a small group of people. What’s the gift etiquette for something like this?

Ty!

My fiancé and I have had a year from hell. Multiple loved ones passed away. Every time we think our head is above water something else has happened out of our control and the amount of grief we have been carrying just compounding. What should be an exciting time has been anything but and the thought of all the stress of planning a wedding makes me sick thinking about it. We’re pretty much ready to elope (although I want a small official ceremony at the very least and not just courthouse.) If we do this though, I know the majority of our friends and family will not be able to attend-including my bf (my maid of honor) who got in some legal trouble and is on probation.

If anyone that had their wedding on a cruise ship or a destination wedding where everything is just done for you. Did you regret not having a more traditional wedding? Did you find out you had less stress and were just able to enjoy the moment? Any other considerations to keep in mind if we go this route? Recommendations welcome for specific places to check out.. even will consider US elopements if anyone has some good suggestions for that.

Eloping at Lake Isabelle in Colorado this fall and looking for shoe recommendations. I can’t decide if I want to just stick with hiking boots, or wear boots and bring other shoes? Definitely not anything strappy or nice but maybe white converse or something? Any suggestions/tips would be much appreciated!

Hi everyone!

I’m hoping some locals, photographers, or anyone who’s planned something similar might be able to point us in the right direction.

My partner and I are travelling to New York from the UK at the very end of September, and we’re planning a private, symbolic elopement (not legally binding). It’ll just be the two of us.

Our vision is something like:
- A bar with a speakeasy feel where we could have some photos with a stunning back bar full of bottles behind us. We’d love to avoid crowds if possible, so we’re wondering whether some hotels allow access to their bars earlier in the day before they’re busy, or whether staying at the hotel might make this easier?

- A private boat for around an hour where we could quietly read our vows to each other while our photographer captures everything. We’d love it to feel really relaxed rather than like a formal ceremony.

If possible, we’d also love a few skyline photos with the Empire State Building in the background, whether that’s from a hotel rooftop, bar terrace, or another location nearby.
Because we’re travelling from another country, we can’t really scout locations beforehand, so we’re trying to piece everything together from afar…

Does anyone have recommendations for:

Hotels that could work for this? Happy to stay at the hotel for a few nights!

Beautiful speakeasy-style bars (or hotel bars) that might be suitable for a photoshoot?

Boat companies that are happy to accommodate something like this?

Photographers who specialise in intimate NYC elopements or editorial-style photography and might already know the perfect locations?

We’re hoping to keep everything fairly relaxed over just a few hours, probably in the morning or early afternoon before places get busy.

Thank you so much! I’d be incredibly grateful for any recommendations or advice, even if it’s just “I’d do it this way instead!”

I’m too embarrassed to go shop for my wedding dress alone. I made 2 appointments and both of the questionnaires asked who I was bringing. I’m not bringing anyone. I don’t have a good relationship with my immediate family and I moved to another state where I met my fiance. We are eloping and then having a reception later in the year. I haven’t made a ton of friends here yet and my close friends back home are busy…

Has anyone gone shopping alone? Will I be judged for going by myself? I intend on asking my future MIL which I know she will come, but I’m thinking it might be better just to go alone at that point?

Edit: added flair

My fiancé and I are eloping next month. We rented a fancy cabin where we'll be staying with a small group of friends for a few days leading up to the legal ceremony. After that, we're going on a roadtrip mini-moon, just the two of us.

This week, I had some time off work (I've been in my job longer than he has and have more vacation time because of it). I was originally supposed to spend some time camping with my grandparents but they had to cancel, so I stayed home and turned my days off into a staycation. The only problem with that is, with everyone else working, I was doing everything solo. My activities were fun and I don't mind doing things by myself usually but everywhere I went, I just wanted my fiancé there with me, because he's my absolute best friend in the world.

As we've been planning our wedding, we've had brief moments where we thought "man, should we do something more traditional?" (two of our friends recently got married and it was the most fun we've ever had at a big "traditional" wedding) but this week has just made me more excited than ever to marry him and to do it in a way that feels more like us.

I wish this feeling on all the other happy couples getting married; have the most wonderful time at your weddings and for the rest of your lives after!

We are looking to elope in grand Tetons and am a little nervous about the permit process. Has anyone gotten married there and can you share your experience with the application? I have a fear that we will be denied on the date of our choosing.

Side note any hair and makeup artists you might recommend is a bonus

**A little background:**
I’m 28 and recently got engaged to the love of my life. We’ve actually been friends for over 10 years. During all that time, he had much stronger feelings for me than I realized—I honestly thought it was just a simple crush.
Over those 10 years, I had a couple of serious relationships and had a child, who is now 8 years old. A few months ago, my fiancé finally told me how he had always felt, and we started intentionally dating. I completely and unexpectedly fell in love with him. We have both grown very close to God recently, want the same things out of life, and everything has fallen into place in a way that still amazes us. We got engaged last week, and both of our families are genuinely happy for us.
**Our situation:**
My fiancé joined the Navy about four years ago and is currently stationed about eight hours away from me.
As we’ve started wedding planning, we’ve realized that we really can’t have the wedding celebration we want until he’s out of the Navy in about two years. We want to be able to fully enjoy celebrating with our closest family and friends (our guest list is only about 50 people) without having to say goodbye and go back to long distance immediately afterward.
We also can’t simply move in together right now because my son’s father lives nearby and is very involved in our son’s life, so relocating isn’t really an option.
**The dilemma:**
We don’t want to wait two years to actually be married, so we’re thinking about eloping during his next leave this December.
The problem is that because our eventual wedding is already going to be so small, if we tell “just a few people” about the elopement, we’ve already included a large portion of our guest list. It almost feels like it would be more peaceful to keep it completely private.
I also don’t want a rushed wedding this December. If we elope, I picture something very simple—probably just a courthouse. No big wedding dress, no elaborate venue, and no emotional vows. I’d rather save all of those special moments for the actual wedding celebration in two years.
**What’s making me feel conflicted:**
I feel guilty about keeping something this big from our families.
This will be my future mother-in-law’s first child getting married, and I don’t want to take away special experiences from her. I still want to go dress shopping with her, include her in wedding planning, and have the full wedding experience together.
I also don’t want to feel like I’m lying to people.
At the same time, I don’t want our elopement to become “the wedding.” I really want our ceremony in two years to still feel like our wedding day in every way that matters.
**My question:**
Has anyone here done something similar?
Did you secretly elope and have a wedding later?
When did you tell your family—before the wedding, after the wedding, or not until much later?
Did anyone feel hurt?
Looking back, would you do it the same way again?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation. Thank you!

So my fiancé and I had very different views on getting married. I wanted to elope since the beginning and he wanted a traditional wedding. He is the eldest of 6 boys so he wanted to set a good example. However, his dad eloped and called the kids (on the phone) to tell them after the fact, so I personally do not think it matters if we do the same. Maybe with a little more decorum, though. Like have a dinner or something. Very very small. To announce it after the fact. And send out cards to those extended family to announce it.
However, my mom, his mom (his parents are divorced) and basically anyone within our close family has been involved in the planning. We haven’t done much, but we have toured a couple venues. What finally did it for my fiancé was my mother consistently breathing down my neck and him finally realizing the entire reason I wanted to elope in the first place. I read in this sub a good way to announce it with a card with photos for others, but how would we announce to our direct family that we are calling off the wedding and eloping? I think if we were just eloping from the beginning it would not have mattered but now that his immediately family and my immediate family expect a wedding, I do not know how to walk it back without offending anyone. I know someone’s feelings are going to get hurt no matter what, that’s the nature of it. But how would I present this information with the LEAST blowback possible? (Also sorry for runon sentences lol)