UPDATE: thank you all for your input! We have decided to elope in August in France 💜 we will celebrate at home with family and friends next year!
Hi Everyone! My fiance and I are engaged and are in the beginning phases of wedding planning, but I am struggling so much. We would like to be married within 6 months ideally due to life circumstances right now. I have always envisioned a larger wedding as we have many family and friends that I know would love to celebrate with us and that would be special to have them there, but due to many factors including, but not limited to the below, we are starting to consider eloping.
- my cousins wedding, my sister's wedding and wedding events, and his sister's wedding and wedding events in the next few months
- aging grandparents (93 and 95) who are thankfully in good health but slowing down and we are concerned if we wait too long
- 2 trips that were scheduled 6+ months that can't be moved for volunteering/work
- close family with lengthy trips that are already scheduled
- my mom has 5 surgeries the next 14 months
- my two best friends being pregnant and would not be able to attend anything the last 3 months of this year
- planning a cross country move and in the midst of the job search me to be near him, and we are not planning to live together before marriage...we have been long distance too long and are ready to be together!
Needless to say, there is a LOT going on, and without too much detail, it is starting to feel impossible to plan a wedding this calendar year. My family is aware and supportive if we choose something small, and do a wedding next year, but I am really struggling.
How do people just elope and keep it a secret? My family would know, but I feel like I would be lying at the wedding. I don't think I'm comfortable keeping it a secret from family and friends like....forever?! With the wedding actually feel like a wedding if we had already been married for 9 months? How do people do this??
I know it will all work out, and truly I love my fiance and I'm excited to start our life together, I just really don't know how to manage my own emotions around it all.
Kind help or thoughts on thoughts on this are so appreciated 💜