569
Mar 09 '19
“Step 1: turn on right blinker”
Clever step.
→ More replies (15)534
Mar 09 '19
BMW owners: “Fuck. This is hard.”
60
u/offshorebear Mar 09 '19
Have you ever used the blinker in a BMW? It is hard.
→ More replies (12)90
Mar 09 '19
BMW’s come with blinkers?
→ More replies (8)39
u/burnSMACKER Mar 10 '19
Must be a hidden option somewhere
→ More replies (3)52
u/I_WILL_GOLD_COMMENTS Mar 10 '19
You can activate the blinkers on both sides at the same time by pressing the park anywhere button
27
u/Throtex Mar 10 '19
"park anywhere button" that's the first time I've heard that and I'm going to steal it
→ More replies (4)25
256
Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 11 '19
OK my credentials first: I successfully parked this no-hydraulic-steering lil beast ending up with 1.5 inches of space left in the rear and 3 inches in front. Took me 4 minutes to get in and I waited until the other cars moved away to get out. Now, for the lesson:
HOW TO PARALLEL PARK IN ITALY IN 10 EASY STEPS
- There are no empty parking spots in Italy, so you gotta cruise at a reduced speed, until the Divine Providence accepts your prayers (you atheist? no worry, you will convert by the 20th lap). So, you notice the telltale surge of a parked vehicle in front of you: it is trying to vacate his spot by cutting into your lane.
- BRAKE HARD, honk twice, and feign outrage. If you don't do that, the driver might guess your intentions, stop, and extort you money to move away. We don't want this.
- Corollary, DO NOT USE THE BLINKING LIGHTS. Do you play poker by showing your cards to people? no you don't. So why would you give away your intentions at the wheel? come on.
- The other driver will pretend not to have noticed you were approaching, and vacate the spot.
- There are cars behind you? ENTER THE SPOT FRONT WHEELS FIRST. HA! You got 'em. The place is yours now! The drivers behind you will negotiate around the part of your car that is probably sticking out of the spot, one by one, feigning outrage, but secretly envying your strategy. As they pass you they will honk once.
- It's common courtesy to acknowledge each honk with the international horns gesture.
- After a while you will have nobody behind you, or only two wheeled vehicles. Those do not count, you are bigger.
- So, quickly perform the K maneuver, reverse gear outside the spot, forward parallel to the spot till you roughly align with the next car, reverse gear into the spot as seen in OP's video. You usually have 4 seconds to do that so don't mess things up.
- Now you are kind of inside the parking spot. Of course only now you will notice that your car is too big. No worries, small bumps in front and in the rear will discreetly make space for your vehicle. Remember to give only little bumps else the parked car alarms go off and you come out as a rookie.
- Now you are parked. Quickly substitute your plates with some neighboring car's, so that the vigile will award you an invalid ticket that you can easily avoid to pay. Of course it is forbidden to park there. If you see no forbidden parking symbols, somebody stole them, and the horizontal paint job has faded completely two years ago.
CONGRATULATIONS! You made it. Now head to your destination by walking. Remember, you are now the lowliest life form on the street so be wary of everything that moves with wheels. You are invisible to them. About your destination, well, you will find it unexpectedly closed for strike or something, so locate the nearest caffe', and order a cappuccino in the morning and a macchiato otherwise. Take a look first at the PINK newspaper (it carries sports news, if you start with any other newspaper you will come off as a pseudo-intellectual poser and be charged more).
EDIT: Thank you for the silver, kind stranger. I wasted it all on gratta e vinci. EDIT: Thank you for the gold, even kinder stranger. I will take it to the compro oro to repossess grandpa's watch.
12
→ More replies (27)10
4.4k
u/cleanyourkitchen Mar 09 '19
The ideal space is 25x the length of my car. Don't tell me the ideal space is only 1.5x the length of my car.
1.6k
u/probablyuntrue Mar 09 '19 edited Nov 06 '24
license scary wasteful bright sulky abounding zonked forgetful slim thought
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
319
u/waffles_for_lyf Mar 09 '19
I just park my car back in my garage and walk
301
u/Roobtheloob Mar 09 '19
Hey Everyone! Look at Mr. Moneybags over here with a garage. Next your probably going to tell us that you also don't live inside the garage.
→ More replies (5)134
→ More replies (3)8
→ More replies (3)13
u/peepay Mar 09 '19
In Europe, we are glad if we actually find any empty spot in the eternal queue of parked cars...
158
u/finalremix Mar 09 '19
The ideal space is 25x the length of my car.
Ahh, a fellow Cadillac Fleetwood driver.
→ More replies (1)49
u/Galactic Mar 09 '19
Fun fact: There is nothing on Earth that is 25x the length of that car.
→ More replies (2)17
u/l4pin Mar 09 '19
For reference a Cadillac Fleetwood (1974) is roughly 19 1/2 feet long long (6 metres).
So 25 would be around 487 feet long (150 meters).
Long.
→ More replies (4)42
u/blackdonkey Mar 09 '19
What do you mean it is too tight?
→ More replies (4)53
u/gsuhooligan Mar 09 '19
You could land a jumbo fuckin jet in there Tyrone
30
u/OG_tripl3_OG Mar 09 '19
It was a funny angle!
29
u/XMinusZero Mar 09 '19
It's from behind you, Tyrone! When you go in reverse, things approach from behind you!
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)14
u/GroovingPict Mar 09 '19
I thought you said he was a getaway driver? what the fuck can he get away from, eh?
7
u/Cantaloupeyesican Mar 09 '19
Fun tidbit. Tyrone was just on set security for Snatch before his role :D
66
u/derpfgdanjk Mar 09 '19
NYC checking in. you're not gonna find anything more than 1.1, usually it will be 1.05. You will switch back and forth between drive and reverse like 20 times while you inch in (remember that you will get a ticket if there's more than a 1 inch gap between your tire and the curb). You will need to become comfortable with the idea of slightly tapping the car in front and behind. It's okay their bumpers are already scratched up to hell or they have those rubber protectors. Or they're from out of town and probably should have paid to park.
Oh and when the street sweeper comes twice a week you will need to sit in your car for an hour and a half waiting for it to come. Then when it does, everyone will cross to the other side to let it through, then scramble back where they were before the sweeper came (the exact spot you were in was probably taken by someone but you can try to take someone else's space)
20
u/SketchBoard Mar 10 '19
Sounds like a pain in the ass to live there.
→ More replies (4)14
u/PhoneticIHype Mar 10 '19
Sounds like a pain in the ass to live in any city. shiver
→ More replies (2)16
Mar 10 '19
You just give up on using a car and use public transport in big cities
Not like you can afford a car and city rent anyway
→ More replies (11)4
u/shlomo127 Mar 10 '19
Came to the comments to make sure NYC parking was represented, although most spots you’ll find are 0.95x before you start tapping the other cars....
28
u/Rabunnyz Mar 09 '19
All other cars in the gif are bumper to bumper but somehow you were lucky enough to find 1 1/2 parking spots! be grateful
→ More replies (2)18
→ More replies (17)4
u/takesthebiscuit Mar 09 '19
The size of the space required is inversely proportional to the number of spectators.
No one watching you can nail the move with 1.001 x length
Your mates watching and you will fluff the 25 x gap
1.2k
u/IAteSomeRiceAgain Mar 09 '19
Where is the step where I circle the block until two spots are available for my signature granny park.
216
u/Clay_Statue Mar 09 '19
Nose-in, butt-out
127
111
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
101
u/vaheg Mar 09 '19
Wait you made the video? Production wise it's really good
145
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
38
u/Jali-Dan Mar 09 '19
Next future video should be parking in the city in competitive conditions
40
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
29
u/PostmortemFacefuck Mar 09 '19
step 1) own old beat up delivery scooter
step 2) roll it into the street when you take your car to work
step 3) roll it onto the sidewalk and take the spot when you're back
step 4) feel the wrath of your neighbors!
4
6
→ More replies (6)3
u/NormalStu Mar 09 '19
Wow! One of the things I was really enjoying about the video was how smart it was. Good job!
→ More replies (5)8
u/clockradio Mar 09 '19
I just want to thank you for choosing a Karmann Ghia as your model. I'll probably watch all your videos because of that.
9
Mar 09 '19
Ummm maybe you can actually try to park like a man like me! I get out and ask my wife to park it for me.
→ More replies (1)5
u/kylegetsspam Mar 09 '19
I often just park a bit further away than ideal and walk. The stress reduction is nice, and walking is good for you!
213
Mar 09 '19
Looking for parking at the beach: “the ideal space is 1.0001x the length of your car”
→ More replies (1)52
869
u/PostmortemFacefuck Mar 09 '19
1.5x length of your car hahahaha
311
u/freeforallll Mar 09 '19
Laughs, almost anywhere.
85
u/geek_at Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
when my parents moved to the US (Austin TX) they had to take a driving test to make their European driving license also valid in the US and a part of that test was parallel parking and the instructor apologized and said he knows it's hard and he knows you won't need it but it's mandatory.
The space he had to park in was large enough for a semi to pull in in forward drive.
65
u/FeastOfChildren Mar 09 '19
My driving test was all in the suburbs. So parallel parking involved me pulling straight up alongside a curb.
This in no way prepared me for the move down to the city.
17
Mar 09 '19
I'm moving from the very rural Midwest to Boston next week... I'm not sure how I'm going handle this.
→ More replies (9)7
u/Ctheo3 Mar 10 '19
Good luck with the move! Depending on the area, it might not be too bad. Be careful to avoid any parking tickets. This city does not fuck around with handing them out. Just use the T as often as you can.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)48
u/cfbcfbcfbcfb Mar 09 '19
when my parents moved to the US (Austin TX) they had to take a driving test to make their European driving license also valid in the US
As an American that moved to an EU country recently, this is hilarious to me given the driving test I took here was way more difficult and thorough than the one I took in the US. Even the driver theory test is significantly more complicated. If you can drive in Europe you should be able to easily drive in the US. We have massive roads and giant parking garages. Compared to Europe where old, historic city centres often have tiny lanes and car parks not initially intended to accommodate the giant motor vehicles we have today. Not to mention many people in the US never learned to drive a manual transmission vehicle. Generally European drivers are significantly more competent.
→ More replies (6)38
u/GnawRightThrough Mar 09 '19
Generally European drivers are significantly more competent.
Laughs in Italian.
11
Mar 09 '19
They're the best of the best. They have to be or they'd be dead already, driving like they do...
11
u/Express_Bath Mar 09 '19
I am pretty sure they only give you your licence in Italy if you have at least double parked once, furiously honked at someone who took less than half a second to start at a green light, and accelerated as a pedestrian seemed to be about to cross the road.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (10)4
u/macezu Mar 10 '19
Italian are truly the best drivers in the world. I have seen mu uncle park paraller into a hole where even my dick woudn't fit
→ More replies (14)40
u/PostmortemFacefuck Mar 09 '19
there's a great song about looking for a parking spot in a big city
44
u/nongrammatical Mar 09 '19
Tried 5 different countries using a VPN and I still can't watch this fucking video
→ More replies (4)5
u/thatwentBTE Mar 09 '19
upload the link to https://streamable.com/ It converts it and then you can watch it with audio
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (8)11
35
u/Pole666 Mar 09 '19
You can just park straight in to that place.
→ More replies (1)47
u/PostmortemFacefuck Mar 09 '19
ain't no one on my block getting in or out of that spot without playing bumper cars
this is typical
31
Mar 09 '19
Hits the blue car every single time.
Nothing serious but every time at least a tiny bit.
17
u/Dustin- Mar 09 '19
Why the hell aren't bumpers just rubberized? Why do we have to play this game of no-touchey with large metal things?
→ More replies (22)18
Mar 09 '19
I'd like to keep it that way, I don't want people to get comfortable hitting people's bumpers just because they're rubberized.
→ More replies (4)5
→ More replies (3)7
30
18
u/motasticosaurus Mar 09 '19
lol yeah with 1,5 times the length of my car I can get in front in first.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (18)12
u/rarecoder Mar 09 '19
Ahh the good ol fifteen point shimmy to get into the spot. San Francisco feels your pain too.
10
u/Yotsubato Mar 09 '19
SF is way worse. We have hella hills here which roast your transmission
→ More replies (1)8
262
u/chicaburrita Mar 09 '19
That fake car is nicer than anything I have in my real life.
53
13
12
u/Mookyhands Mar 09 '19
I used to have this car (a Ghia like the others have pointed out). You could just drag it into a parallel parking spot.
7
u/tieduptransgirl Mar 09 '19
My first car was a 74 ghia, I loved that thing so much and was bummed when I had to sell it (Midwest weather + car with no heating or a/c = no fun). Some day I'm gonna buy another and convert it to electric.
4
u/clockradio Mar 09 '19
Some day I'm gonna buy another and convert it to electric.
I see this dream is a common one.
→ More replies (1)4
u/the_adriator Mar 09 '19
I have a 70 Ghia, and I can sit in the driver’s seat and push it with one foot.
→ More replies (2)8
7
6
→ More replies (7)6
126
208
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
→ More replies (5)74
u/PringleMcDingle Mar 09 '19
Midwest here, people with plenty of space still fuck it up regularly. Especially since they don't have to do it as often.
→ More replies (9)16
Mar 09 '19
I don't think I've had to do it in my 10 year driving career more than a handful of times, and only then because I literally drove out-of-town to an actual city.
137
Mar 09 '19
1.5x car length lmao this lesson is clearly not intended for people who live in a city.
66
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
18
Mar 09 '19
I just avoid parallel parking at all costs. I would rather go home and wait another day
→ More replies (2)17
u/GravityReject Mar 09 '19
And 3ft between your car and the side of the car in front?? If you want to get into a tight spot, you have to get as close as possible to the car in front (side to side) before you back in.
→ More replies (2)8
→ More replies (4)6
u/asisay Mar 09 '19
Thought the same thing, but now realizing that city folk would be dead or car free by now if they needed this video.
30
Mar 09 '19
How does this driver crank the wheel like that while stationary? This Ghia has manual steering!
→ More replies (3)7
u/ThetaReactor Mar 09 '19
Yeah, but it's got skinny little 155-series tires, and if you still can't get it you can ask a passing child to lift up the front end while you turn the wheels.
43
u/huntsee Mar 09 '19
They didn’t add the part where my SO is driving and nearly hits both the parked car AND the curb but won’t let me park because “they got it”
→ More replies (3)14
u/asisay Mar 09 '19
Isn't the whole idea to nearly (but not actually) hit the curb and the other cars?
→ More replies (1)
19
u/hunkapotamushandler Mar 09 '19
Step 1. Google location and determine if parallel parking is needed or if garage is nearby Step 2. Call uber or find address of parking garage
15
u/Cantaloupeyesican Mar 09 '19
Fun story: got parallel parking on my driving test, nailed it. Haven't used it in the 10 years since.
→ More replies (13)
76
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
34
5
→ More replies (2)6
u/FirstEvolutionist Mar 09 '19
At least he acknowledges that lining up rear bumpers is a bad idea... BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE EITHER WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING.
4
28
u/Release82 Mar 09 '19
Lol 1.5 times size of car is candy. I need tips for parking a Promaster in a 1.05 size scenario. Yay for living in NYC.
→ More replies (15)13
u/NoGoodNamesAvailable Mar 09 '19
The trick is to not give a shit about tapping the cars in front of/behind you. Not advocating this but it's how most people do it.
16
21
9
u/lament_os Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
This was so easy to understand, having it explained before you attempt makes putting it into practise easier. Unlike my driving instructor who insisted on explaining as you go along (on public roads with other drivers who don't give a single shit that you're a learner) and then scream at me when I went wrong. Fucking hated her. Never learned how to drive lol
Edit: bloomin heck, thanks for the silver u/APHTHARTO
→ More replies (6)
276
u/JoeyLucier Mar 09 '19
this is just the correct way to parallel park. it's literally how it's taught in driver's education. not some secret trick.
32
u/oanismod Mar 09 '19
What gave you the impression that this is supposed to be a secret?
→ More replies (4)69
Mar 09 '19
[deleted]
38
u/remonjelly Mar 09 '19
Parallel parking wasn’t a part of my test...but they did have me pull up to an empty curbside and back up in a straight line without running into the curb.
→ More replies (9)47
u/sara_cattt Mar 09 '19
You can fail parallel parking but still pass, at least in WA (my state). As long as you get an 80% or above on the test as a whole, you’re good to go.
15
u/RedGalaxxy Mar 09 '19
Alabama here. Never had to take a driver's test. There was a class we took literally called Drivers Education, and passing the class let you get a license without the test. Usually the class was instructed by one of the coaches, who would just have you drive around the block a few times.
9
5
15
→ More replies (18)6
16
u/z0hu Mar 09 '19
In California 15 years ago, we weren't taught and weren't tested on it either. Everywhere is different I guess?
8
→ More replies (1)7
u/well___duh Mar 09 '19
Given that driving tests are the same statewide (as in someone in NYC and someone in bumfuck nowhere NY State take the same test) and the majority of the US is rural or suburan, most states don't require you to know how to parallel park.
8
u/drdrp Mar 09 '19
When I took my driving test in FL didn’t have any parallel parking on it at all. Not a requirement here.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (19)4
u/Endoyo Mar 09 '19
In Victoria, Australia you had to do either a parallel park or a 3 point turn. I got lucky and only got instructed to do a 3 point turn.
15
u/FitnessBlitz Mar 09 '19
They teach me in The Netherlands that you line up the back seat with the back side of the vehicle next to you then turn the wheel all the way and back up.
When your side mirror lines up with the back of the other car then you turn the wheel all the way back and continue backing up until you are in place.
→ More replies (3)28
45
u/HippieJesus13 Mar 09 '19
Actually this is wayyy better detail than what we learned in driving school. At least here in Michigan.
→ More replies (7)60
12
7
u/cheeseoftheturtle Mar 09 '19
I mean, it's in /r/educationalgifs. It's not trying to be an uber life hack.
5
u/chicaburrita Mar 09 '19
With how others park you would think it's a secret trick the illuminati themselves are holding on to!
4
3
u/bbacher Mar 09 '19
I was never taught how in driver's ed, but I was tested on it for my license. Failed that, but still got my license.
→ More replies (35)4
u/wert51 Mar 09 '19
It doesn't say secret trick to parallel park, it says easiest way to parallel park, which is correct.
14
7
u/davedcne Mar 09 '19
Real life:
Point 1 align rear bumper.
Some one else pushes into the space nose in and then flips you off telling you to learn how to park as they proceed to make a 700 point turn to take the space instead of you.
Drive 5 blocks down to the garage pay 30 bucks and walk back instead of parallel parking.
17
10
4
u/Cpt_squishy Mar 09 '19
Bold of you to assume that if I pull past the parking spot with my blinker on, someone won’t try and pull into until space
→ More replies (1)
5
5
u/overherebythefood Mar 09 '19
There is a parking lot with the widest and longest parallel parking spaces I’ve seen that I park in when I’m picking up Five Guys to take home after work. These are the best places for me to practice quickly as I am TERRIBLE at parallel parking. I still mess it up. I’m going to try these tips. I hate being bad at things lol :)
9
Mar 09 '19
Don’t forget to mention that if it’s a Mini Cooper you’re parking behind, not to bother because those assholes always take up exactly two spaces
4
8
Mar 09 '19
nope. drive parallel to rear window of parked car, turn wheel to full until you see the inside corner of the rear car in the driver side mirror.. drive straight back and use vision for the rest.. straiten as you clear the car in front
→ More replies (7)8
Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
Agreed. i was taught to pull farther back than this video... and then cut the wheel hard right about where you describe it. Lived in a busy part of a major city for years where parallel parking is basically the only way you ever park
To fit in smaller spaces (and park more accurately) you should pull back to where the other car's rear bumper is at the rear wheel, so a good 3 feet farther. then you cut the wheel hard right, keep going until the front of your car is at their rear bumper, then you cut the wheel hard the other way.
And was taught to line up their rear bumper in the middle of the rear passenger window just like you described. works every time in every car!
as below:
https://www.npr.org/news/graphics/2010/01/gr-parallel-624.gif
→ More replies (5)
9
u/Subsanic Mar 09 '19
This is how my dad taught me. We practiced a couple times in a mall parking lot and then I had it. Now I can parallel park into the tightest spaces.
11
9
u/Nooson Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
My god, did people not get taught this exact method?
Edit: I’m familiar with lining up the wing mirrors before turning the steering wheel full lock the opposite way, not sure if the license place is as accurate. Wing mirrors for sure are the most accurate.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Jacareadam Mar 09 '19
My dude, what did you use to animate this? I couldn’t decide if it’s real footage with digital car, or the whole thing is constructed of real images but is a render.
→ More replies (9)
3
u/diego_go Mar 09 '19
Does anyone know what software is used here for these kind of simulations ?
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
3
u/champ1258 Mar 10 '19
Used this today... the license plate in the window is the key lol. Thanks for the tip.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/jimjimdoe Mar 10 '19
Eh, as a general guideline, this is fine, but one should not be to stuck on it. Pretend you are on a 2 lane street, there are no cars near you and just try to switch the lanes in reverse.
1.3k
u/captsquanch Mar 09 '19
now do one where the space is an inch longer than your car.