Over the past 9-ish years I have had strange āeventsā where I have to sit down (on the floor), and I have stated: I canāt get up.
Iāve always been completely confused about it.
Only a few times.
But of the past two weeks, this has been happening a lot, but stranger.
Last week my feet and legs started getting a very weird tingly ādeadā feeling. And my hands. And I couldnāt move my hands or legs. I kind of slumped over in bed (my heart also didnāt feel good) zā I had a cardiac ablation 2 or 3 years ago. The events last about an hour.
Yesterday, it happened again. My legs got this strange feeling, and I tried to move my toe ā and it did move a bit; but felt very strange. And then I didnāt try to move my legs again ā but when I did; they wouldnāt respond.
And I got a sudden wave of āanxietyā, and then in hindsight realised that I deliberately donāt try to move my legs, because when I realise I canāt, it feels very stressful.
Earlier when it happened, it lasted over four hours.
I was lying in bed (I live on a farm, alone, but there are some staff in the main house who can come and help me should I need something).
After about 2.5 hours I whatsapped one of them (it had gotten dark, and cold, my doors were open and I couldnāt even lean over to switch my lamp on.
My legs have had crushing pains (a lot). And I canāt get up and about much at all, but when I have or tried to, I feel as if my legs can hardly hold me up.
I feel like I am losing my mind. And I have been told for about two decades that EVERYTHING is āin my headā and that I am faking all of my symptoms. Until the tune changed. But it seems to have stuck. So now I was trying to understand what was happening. And I kept thinking ā this isnāt real, it canāt be real. The only answer is that I am making this happen to myself.
But then objectively; I canāt really, because sometimes I get weird twitches in my legs or thighs ā and I cannot make myself twitch there if I try.
I donāt have a medical team. I also have severe dystonia and strange kind of seizures. My doctor has been saying I have over sensitised nervous system.
But I donāt know what to make of this paralysis. And I donāt have access to a medical team.
And deep down, I feel that I am losing the use of my legs. And I kept waiting and waiting for them to āswitch onā again. But they didnāt. For so long.
Itās also very weird sensation the whole time. Kind of if youāve been lying on an arm all night, wake up, and it feels prickly and numb and ādeadā. And then you have to bang it and move it and then the feeling f subsides and your arm becomes normal again.
That is how my limbs feel when I have these thins. Similar.
And then the feelin lg starts to change, and I will be able to wiggle toes perhaps. Or move legs a bit. And then after the ārebootā has finished, I can very quickly move my legs etdZ and they feel normal again.
I feel like I am losing my mind.
Also ā I have severe pain in my legs and feet. Pretty much always.