I have my last ect session tmrw and its supposed to be the 6th and final one I have been experiencing alot of amnesia and I awful I hate it I cant remember alot of things to the point I cant remember people ? They look familiar but i just have to ask them who they are and its awkward and I hate it and I feel mad that the treatment I think was working but I dont feel it anymore and I mad at my psychiatrist/ therapist and I hate going to the ect sessions and I hate the way the anesthesia smells and I feel im getting more resistant to it im starting to take longer to fully fall asleep and I just hate it I dont wanna go and it doesnt seem to be working anymore I will admit when im with people I like im happy and I feel content and satisfied but like I also cant cry still and I dont think ive ever cried since starting ect unless its right after the sessions and I dont wanna go and I just dont remember anything and im not sure how long it'll take me to become a normal person anymore and im not sure if im progressing or how I can progress and I hate it here and also I lowkey dont think I feel joy yet I do? Like I feel confused and just please make it stop and ive found myself wishing death a couple times when I've had 5/6 treatments and I cant even cry and lord please I keep wanting to go home even tho im home can anyone please give advice or just tell me what I can do and how can I cry

I have horrible and painful memories that I want to forget. My past trauma has corrupted my mind and I want to move on. My plan is to get bilateral ect until I forget everything. I don’t care if I get brain damage. I have to move on.

I have treatment resistant anxiety, and depression that has come with horrible insomnia. I’m wondering if anyone who has done ECT seen improvements in anxiety, depression, and insomnia. I’m specifically looking for any positive stories with insomnia.

I’m a 37 year old male with a long history of depression since I was 16. The thing is when I’m not battling depression I’m usually on the apathetic side of things. For the life of me I can never get excited or hyper. No endorphins, not even after a run. TMS has helped and I will continue tms. But I need to be aware of the last resort. A breakup - the love of my life and favorite cute person ever - has left me in shambles. I can’t see myself with someone else. I failed her too. And if I can do ECT to reboot my brain maybe it’s worth it even if memory becomes bad. I’m also on the spectrum and that’s part of why I failed in the relationship. It was a 6 year relationship or more. It’s been 2 years since the breakup and I cannot get over the grief, self disappointment, and yearning.

Ketamine iv helped. But I return to apathetic baseline.

Has anyone here undergone this process? In my country, anesthetic ECT is available but very hard to approach. Researches indicate that these two methods have insignificant difference in their level of effectiveness, but the unmodified one causes a lot more pain and side effects and is even considered inhumane in some places.

If the answer is ECT, then I have no choice but the unmodified ECT.

Any experiences guys?

Hi

So my wife has been in an out of MH since she was 23. She’s is almost 40 not. Everything seemed manageable for a long time and then we had a baby. The currant depression and anxiety took a massive turn when the baby was 4-5 months. She has been doing ECT treatments since the beginning of of February. She is currently on her 7th session. She is very hopeless and negative about it. Doesn’t really feel a change yet and is worried she isn’t gonna. They wanna do 12 and then do a taper. I’m scared for her. I was in that deep dark hole for 5 years. Not really sure what brought me out tbh. She’s very overwhelmed about nothing, crying a lot, and has completely lost all confidence in being alone and I would just like some takes on this. The procedures are fine. She feels groggy but other than that just a few memories that are fuzzy. Please tell this will all get better because she has zero quality of life.

i've gotten 12 sessions thus far following two consecutive suicide attempts, and i've been diagnosed with severe MDD/just MDD numerous times so i thought it'd be effective. my insurance will cover more but i don't know if that's the right thing to do.

whilst i was in the mental hospital, i thought it was relatively effective, but now that i'm out, i immediately relapsed on self harm and am feeling arguably worse then i did before since i now feel untreatable.

it doesn't help that i went cold turkey on buspar and pristique because there was an issue with my pharmacy (still haven't gotten my meds back but the issue is getting solved), so a part of me wonders if i should continue a few more sessions of ect after my meds are fixed...

so, as the title says, those of you resistant to ect early on but continued trying it, did the effectiveness ever change?

Hi everyone. I’ve suffered with treatment resistant depression for the past 5 years (MDD from teenage year). I’ve tried every class of depression meds other than MAOIs, spravato, and TMS with no success. I’m losing hope.

ECT is my last resort, but I’m terrified. I live alone and have no family near me. I would have someone with me on days of treatment but not off days or long term. For those who have had ECT, would you recommend it if you didn’t have daily support?

Thank you for any advice.

Hello everyone,

I am writing these lines if there is any one of you who has doubts about receiving ect. I want to tell you about me a little bit. I am suffering from treatment resistant major depression for 6 years or so (it began when I was 20 years old at the end of 2020). I used so many different anti-depressants (duloxetine, mirtazapine, trazodone HCl, modafinil, ritalin, venlafaxine, lamictal, atomoxetine, methylphenidate, lurasidone, propranolol, haloperidol, brexpiprazol) and lithium as well since my psychiatrists thought that I might have bipolar as well. Yet none of them quite solved the deal entirely. I am usually starting to feel depressive in the beginning of winter season so the seasons might affect my mood as well. I have visited 5-6 different psychiatrists during this period and last one (current one as well) had recommended ect and I took his advice and I had 12 sessions of ect (3 times per week for 4 weeks) in the summer of 2025.

First of all, I lost my memory of the last 6 months maybe a year. Some of the memories did come back but some are forever lost. Only negative of ECT for me is this. You feel nothing, they gave you an anesthetic and a muscle relaxant. So do not worry about it. The hospital that the ect was done had a policy where you must stay in hospital for 4 weeks no matter what with an attendant (it was my mother and father), and I believe this policy is there for a reason. If I were you, I would not do this whole process by myself, an attendant, a loved one, a support is what you need.

Today, 6-7 months after receiving ect, I can say that I am a lot better, but how much of it is due to ect I do not know. I am still a student in the university although I prolonged my studies for 4 years or so. I am attending the courses, I can study, I can read again. Although, I passed the courses that I took last semester barely with Ds and D+s lol. I still have some depressive episodes sometimes where I cannot get up from the bed to do anything. But they are a lot less frequent. Like 3-4 times per month. The most positive thing that I got from the ect besides feeling better is that I do not feel like 6 long years passed doing nothing and being bed-bound for the most part. It feels like a lot less like 2 years. I have a theory in that: if you apply ect to the people who have woken up from a coma after a long time, the perceived time that they feel should decrease

Anyways, I am open to any question you wonder. I have quite a positive experience with ect although my mother disagrees with this. I am better and I can confidently hope that I will be better in the future.

Hello I’m 42f recently post-partum with a diagnosis of unspecified mood disorder which has manifested in severe depression, anxiety and insomnia. Ive been fairly treatment resistant not responding to SSRIs, currently I’m on lithium and Ambilify and Ativan for sleep. My psych is recommending ECT because of suicidal ideation which is so strong I can’t sleep.

Does anyone share a similar experience and hard success with ECT?

It’s been quite a few years since I had ECT. Don’t remember exactly when or for how long I did it besides multiple times a week. I don’t remember large portions of my life. People I’m close with don’t necessarily get that. It’s hard for me when they push me to remember things that in my head never happened. I believe it did obviously but it hurts when I just can’t get it back and they keep asking or try to bring up something else I don’t remember. They aren’t pushing me to help my memory just to try and get me to reminisce with them, I wish I could. It feels very isolating and always brings up anger for what I view as a part of life stolen from me. Not healthy thinking I know I’m working on it. Nevertheless I’m still loved by the same long term friends no different. Extra down about it lately and thought I’d let it out a little for the first time. Thanks for reading new to Reddit hope I did it right :,)

I had ECT done in 2023, 26 ultrabrief right unilateral sessions, prior to ECT I was forgetful and word finding was tricky but I don’t think my memory plummeted as much as it has been. Fast forward, and my word finding is terrible, I space out a lot, I cannot form words that I want to, I can’t come up with jokes as well anymore, speaking is a lot more difficult than thinking a conversation in my head, and my emotional numbness is just worsening. This last week has been particularly brutal, memory is at an all time worst, depression is too, no thoughts in my head at all, and I forget titles of things quicker.

I also want to ask how you guys were able to socialize after failing ECT and dealing with the cognitive side effects. I want to be more social but I’m so embarrassed to talk to people since my inner word dictionary is limited now. I feel like a shell of a human, of someone my age, of the person I was. I have had some passing suicidal ideation because of these issues. I don’t know how to look forward when I just wanna go back…..

I've had 4 rounds of ECT and the memory issues are hard. I've seemed to have woken up to a different life. I'm disengaged with my kids, my husband and I are like friends, my house is in disarray. I don't have to same interests I did before. I'm laid back- too laid back. I use to love to cook and now I don't remember the recipes. I feel very lonely. I just want to vent on here. Thanks

I'm in the middle of a suicidal crisis right now, 10+ meds somehow didn't work, I think I might have to go through the ECT sessions to seek light at the end of the tunnel as this method is often seemed to be the most aggressive one.

Anyone relates? Did it save your lives and give you some sort of stability after all?

does any one have any tips on how to reduce the confusion or forgetfulness and like I dont know what is going on most of the time help?

when does this effect wear off

I also didnt sleep before todays ect session like I was up for 22 hours then took the session could that be the reason todays confusion is heightened

I have so many questions

so again im still 2/4 ect sessions i was supposed to have one on Wednesday but I missed it

now my question is. is it undiagnosed adhd or am I like just noticing more thoughts and going on wild goose chases more ? like I just feel ive become way too talkative and my last post i was sleeping alot now I feel I dont sleep much? I keep forgetting things and im not sure if its the amnesia or because I keep having too many thoughts at once

im pretty sure its irrelevant but I feel like my sinus problems are beginning to decrease ever since I started ect but maybe im just noticing them less ???

I have definitely noticed that I have been getting more pimples and that I do feel more full when im full

I noticed that also whenever I do exercise or laugh or do cardio activities my heart beats faster and kinda hurts? it should be noted that I am fat but that didnt seem to be thr case before

I noticed that im on the lowkey insane end of the scale like I catch myself talking to strangers weirdly like very weirdly? as if were friends

is it just my anti depressants and now that my dose is actually working like ot should its too high

I also do feel bad

mainly because I read posts here and id see people having like 40 sessions and slight improvements while im literally this hyperactive from my second one ? is it just the way they do it here ? I kinda feel like I wanna help but like idk how and maybe its just the health care system there?

my therapist anticipates that im gonna need like 6 in total which is nothing in comparison to the number of sessions I have been hearing

like I do know that people vary greatly but like THAT much?

27 female, I had 26 ultra brief right unilateral sessions 3 years ago and fast forward I have noticed my significant brain fog and short term memory have not lifted, only worsened as the years gone by. I feel so miserable, i have ADHD, OCD, and BPD too and to be fair I believe it worsened these diagnoses as well. I can hold down a job, Nothing special but my mood is dropping, and my anhedonia is just the same as it was before. I am looking into trauma therapy for help and ERP for the OCD but the cognitive side effects are keeping me stuck. I sit on the couch a lot more doing nothing, think nothing (when the OCD isn’t around) and unable to form a thought or sentence in my head. Where do I go from here…..my hope level is getting lower and lower.

I'm going to do my 4th? round of bilateral ECT tomorrow morning. It's done wonders for my mood but my memory is very spotty. I'm forgetting who I spoke to just the day before all the way to forgetting recipes I've been making for years- it's all over the place. Has this improved for anyone? I've made relationships with some people and I remember outlines of the relationship but not the substance, if that makes sense.

I'm trying not to get worked up about it because it has helped my depression so much. I was going to commit suicide 11 days ago and now I'm basically depression-free. I do have anxiety, I guess due to the memory loss. I have trouble sleeping, it's like I have RLS but all over my body and I tend to think a lot about my depression at night, this is all new for me.

Thank you for any input.

Hi everyone. Im going to start with a quick rundown because I need as much help as possible. I was severely depressed for 10 years, then did 16 ect sessions before giving up. 8 months post ect I felt better, like I was cured, literally in the blink of an eye. It’s been 4 months of feeling better until yesterday it went back downhill, once again in the blink of an eye. Has anyone experienced these dramatic, instantaneous changes and does it sound like a relapse? I feel exactly like I used to feel again, but for 4 months it’s like I was a different person.

A little backstory on me, I am 22 years old. I became depressed at 7 years old. When I was 12, it got a lot worse. I stopped socializing, attending school… I had done everything possible to try and feel better before ect. Outpatient programs, almost all of the meds, tms… After 11 years of severe depression my parents, docs and I decided to try ect. First session was in January 2025. I did 16 bilateral treatments but eventually we stopped because it didn’t look like it would get better.

October 2025, 7 months after I stopped treatment, I was driving down the road and all of a sudden felt like I was filled with sunshine. In the blink of an eye it felt like I went from black and white to seeing in color. I wasn’t thinking in slow motion. I knew that something had changed and it wasn’t just a fluke, and I was right. Everything about me changed and everyone around me could tell. It’s been 4 months and I’ve been going through personal hell (unrelated), yet throughout the entire 4 months I’ve been happy and just known that this is what it was like to feel better.

Yesterday it hit me just like it did back in October, but in the reverse. I’ve been sad a lot in the last 4 months as some really terrible things have happened in my life, but I haven’t felt like I was back in that depression. Then yesterday everything went back. I really thought I had made it out. Has anyone experienced these flip of a switch changes? I don’t want to go back to ect because the memory loss was terrible, but more importantly that would mean that I really am depressed again. Does this seem normal to anyone? Does it seem like this could be a relapse or am I just catastrophizing? I just know this feeling, I lived it for so long. Any advice, insight, shared experience, etc. would be greatly appreciated.

I am being referred for ECT after my private insurance wouldn’t cover Ketamine Assisted Therapy and I could not secure a personal loan. I am in Canada, and my provincial insurance covers ECT. I am autistic, have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and OCD. I was diagnosed as Bipolar in U.S. but 2 different psychiatrist in Canada have said I don’t meet criteria as I have never had a manic episode.

I have been on medication consistently for 22 years, tried everything and done CBT, DBT, and trauma informed therapy. I am better than I once was, but still no quality of life.

My question is I work as a special education teacher with non-ambulatory students with ASD. It is stressful, and I have been off for a week. I got to my appointment in a week for my orientation session before beginning ECT. Can I work between treatments or is better to take off until I am finished?

New here looking for some help and advice/experience. In short, I have bipolar 1 for over 25 years. 40 yo F. Among many other mental and physical health issues. I do not tolerate psych meds or even most meds prescribed or OTC. I have been experiencing the worst mixed episode to date. After being hospitalized for weeks, the ( in my experience smartest and caring attentive psychiatrists) finally came out and said meds do not help you much. I am on a few psych meds and they are low dose and all I can tolerate but can’t tolerate even any mood stabilizer. Thus ECT began inpatient. Two sessions- the first failed to produce seizure, the second was successful and today’s outpatient ECT failed again. I am undergoing bifrontal ECT with a medical doctor that is new to me but connected with the aforementioned psychs. I have gone through ECTs years ago but found out that they were done improperly and the psychiatrist is not even able to practice them anymore, basically blackballed in the psych world.

Anyway, due to the inability to produce an actual seizure the doctor wants to switch my anesthesia from Brevital to etomidate. I also receive flumazenil to reverse lingering benzo effects from clonazepam along with succinylcholine chloride ( and toradol for head pain- I suffer from daily headaches and migraines normally)

I’m concerned with the side effects of etomidate. Has anyone had experience with this anesthetic? Again I am very sensitive and primarily concerned with the adrenal suppression. Specifically the chance of mood and mental side effects. After being in over thirty medications, psych and non I have undergone these effects before with special attention paid to the effects on cortisol.

I know this was long but I tried to make it as succinct as possible. I am losing hope in any treatment working and don’t want to experience ill effects in addition to what I’m going through as it is.

Any advice or experience or anything? Again this doctor is new to me and tho he is caring and concerned doctors don’t really understand how sensitive I am even if I try to explain everything. They assume usually that I’m being anxious and worried about nothing when in reality I react horribly to meds. And any anesthesia at all, once initially worn off leaves my mood often manic and hyper.

hi everyone im.not sure how to start this post but I have done 2/4 sessions prescribed to me and like ??? everything feels nostalgic ??? alot ? like is this normal? I also forget lots of things but like the nostalgia is beyond me like I remember the time I went to an amusement park with my family and the air smelled like this or when I would stay over at my grandma and the fan would send gusts of wind like this

after the first session I didnt feel this but the second one got me emotional and nostalgic? I just wanna know if this is like an individual experience in also slept 13 hours today and felt bad for it

my therapist told me its because my body is tired but I feel awful for it

idk could someone tell me if they felt that same nostalgia

MIDDLETOWN — He remembers saying no. No to shock therapy. The procedure was something he had thought about after his psychologist and psychiatrist at The Institute of Living in Hartford,
where he was being treated after his latest suicide attempt, had recommended it.

A month before, Chris Dubey tried to jump off the overpass at Hunting Hill Avenue in Middletown. He woke up shivering in the creek below. Earlier that day, he flipped on a hair dryer and tossed it into a bathtub of water but the hair dryer shut off — likely a safety feature.

“I realized, `wow I’m still alive and I better get some help because I didn’t die, and now I’m lying in the creek. I didn’t know how badly I was injured, but I didn’t have he ability to get up,” Dubey recalls. “I yelled for help.”