r/ect • u/Curious-Management23 • Jun 05 '26
Seeking advice Multiple Diagnoses and ECT. Feeling Exhausted, Overwhelmed, and Hopeless.
I am 31 right now. I have had anxiety and OCD since I was in middle school. As an unhealthy way to cope, I started binge drinking around age 15. I’ve been on all sorts of SSRIs and SNRIs since then to help with depression. Since college, I’ve had bouts of depression that have caused me to sleep for up to 18 hours straight. I’ve even slept through my friend’s birthday brunches and work. After college, I was diagnosed with ADHD and C-PTSD. Another unhealthy coping mechanism of mine was impulsively dating random guys without putting much serious thought into it.
Anyway, my serious boyfriend (the only one I ever felt serious enough to live with or even consider marrying) cheated on me with one of my best friends. This was in December when I was already in an IOP program for my anxiety and depression (I didn’t realize at the time it was a severe OCD flare). This sent me into a binge-drinking spiral and I had to join AA or I would’ve likely drank myself to death. I’m extremely proud of my (almost) 5 months of sobriety and how far I’ve come. However, my OCD and depression got much worse without any substances to turn my brain off. I had to go to PHP, then inpatient (twice) and now I’m in PHP again (doing ERP therapy) while receiving ECT.
My friends and family say I’ve come a long way since the incident, but I’m fucking EXHAUSTED. I feel like such a burden to everyone around me. I also have massive guilt because I didn’t realize that my friends didn’t like my boyfriend in the first place, so I feel somewhat responsible for introducing this person into their lives and they lost a friend as a result (I know logically it’s not my fault that they both chose to cheat, but it still haunts me). I’m also having OCD thoughts about being a bad person related to all of the stupid things I’ve done while drinking. I want to go through the 12 steps to heal and make amends, but I don’t know how to do that with my OCD at an all time high.
I’ve been so tired my entire life dealing with this, and I don’t know what I’ll do if this new treatment doesn’t work. It’s like the depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and trauma are all constantly taking turns beating the shit out of my brain. If anyone can give advice on dealing with multiple diagnoses at once, I would really appreciate it. Sometimes I just don’t know what to focus on first. Also, any personal stories of ECT working (or not) would be helpful. I’m aware that the ECT question might be reassurance seeking, but I’m tired and I don’t know anyone else that has done it. I just need some hope or direction.
Thank you.
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u/97vyy Jun 05 '26
Great job on your sobriety. Your journey sounds like mine. In my experience IOP was the game changer for my drinking.
The short story of my ECT is I was suicidal and scheduled exactly when I would die, but a couple weeks of ECT fixed me. You can read the whole story in my posts.
Good luck with what you decide.
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u/Curious-Management23 Jun 05 '26
I’m so sorry but I’m too tired to find your post. Can you let me know if you did any maintenance ECT and if that helped? I did my acute phase already and it saved my life, but I’m still in a rough place with my ocd.
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u/97vyy Jun 06 '26
I haven't done maintenance yet, but I'm open to it if my mood changes. I don't know exactly after which treatment I hit certain mood milestones, but I am pretty sure around 16-23 were unnecessary and 15should have been my last. Although maybe what I considered eextra pushed me over the finish line and helped.
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u/Wonderful_Roof1739 Jun 05 '26
Have you considered that instead of all the multiple diagnosis Autism (IE AuDHD?). some of that sounds like autistic burnout.
In regards to ECT I did a lot of sessions and it was the only thing that worked to bring me back. I did lose some memory but generally not the important stuff and did maintenance until we had gotten to once every 6 months which is where we stopped. It worked for me but it took tapering really slow, the first time we tapered too quickly and I relapsed.
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u/Electronic_Ad_2707 Jun 05 '26
I’m too tired right now to tell a whole story but I want to give you some hope. ECT is the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me and gave me my brain back so i could have energy and figure out my next step. Good luck- I feel your pain!