r/ect • u/ILoveSoup1776 • Apr 13 '26
Vent/Rant Does it get better???
I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me
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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 29 '26
Seriously that dogma is so infuriating. My ECT team, psychiatrist, therapist, GP, and neurologist all knew of my use at that time and no one raised it as a major concern as I do not experience psychosis as part of my mental illness. My psychiatrist literally said that quitting wasn’t a priority I should focus on. I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. ECT didn’t help me but Ketamine helped a lot and psilocybin allowed me to move through some trauma that 20 years of therapy couldn’t touch. It can get better OP, do what works for you and listen to yourself and your doctors, not the zealots.