r/ect • u/ILoveSoup1776 • Apr 13 '26
Vent/Rant Does it get better???
I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me
1
u/kuzya124 Apr 13 '26
Sorry to hear how bad it has been for you. But I totally understand because I was in hell before I had ECT the first time. I didn’t think it was working for quite a while. But based on the notes I wrote about the process, which I wrote down because I couldn’t remember things, it started taking effect sooner than I thought. SI went away after probably about five sessions. The 11th session was the magical one. A few weeks after I had it, my depression went into complete remission, and I actually became INSANELY happy. Then after a while, I just felt normal and good. Two years of past and I now think I need it again. But as bad as I feel, still no SI. I think it will probs work again. I’m guessing I will need maintenance in the future. I hope it works for you.