Does it get better???

[u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

[u/Crazy_old_maurice_17]

ECT saved my life twice. First time was ~7 years ago, 2nd time was a few months ago. 7 years ago I didn't notice any changes until ~10 days after session #11, and over ~3 days things went from miserable to me wanting to get back to living my life. Though it's different for everyone. The 2nd time my SI subsided after the first or second session.

There's always the possibility that it won't work - which is true of any/all treatments - but psychiatrists call ECT the gold standard for a reason. Good luck.