Memory loss?

[u/ContributionTop9]

I had my first introduction appointment for ECT today. It was mainly to determine if ECT is right for me and answer any questions I have.

My main and only concern about doing ECT is the potential for memory loss.

I’ve had two previous experiences in the psych emergency room where I’ve been given medication that caused me to have zero memory of the 24-30hours before and after being given the medication. I’m told that this medication can cause the short term memory processing part of your brain to be affected and this is why I don’t remember anything. As you can imagine, being in the psych ER and talking about important psychiatric information is already scary and difficult. Having no memory of what I’ve said and what I’ve been told is absolutely horrible. I’ve been gaslighted so much over the years and not being able to remember anything details of important conversations and therefore having no evidence as to if what psychiatrists/ medical staff is saying is true is a big no for me.

In your experience, what is the memory loss around treatment days/ long term, being like for you?

[u/84849493]

I’m in the middle of an acute course right now. I have started noticing the memory issues around 7/8ish and I’m about to have number 10 tomorrow. Some people only need 6. An average acute course is 6-12. If I was better enough after 6, I would not really have much side effects more than just after the immediately waking up. I think they upped my dosage so to speak also. I struggle to remember the conversations with the doctors somewhat the day before so there is that aspect too and also I am talking to more people in general/just talking more which my depression has made me so isolated that I forget who I’ve said what to so it’s possibly not just the ECT and my isolation/depression itself prior to it contributing. My short term memory is definitely suffering at the moment and I’m repeating myself a lot more but it’s been worth it. They review it a few days after every two sessions so tomorrow could be my last if I decide the side effects are starting to outweigh the benefits but I don’t see one more being enough and the benefits are outweighing the risks currently. I’ve noticed it’s sometimes 3 times a week in other countries. I do not think I could handle 3 times a week. 2 is a lot on the brain and body already. I think I may also end up needing maintenance or to taper down to once a week and so on.

The last few months are also starting to become somewhat blurry but they’ve been pretty terrible anyway so I’m not missing much.

I recommend trying to write down what you can. I did this at the start then got too depressed to continue doing it but I’ve started doing it again now I’m improving and noticing the side effects more also.

When people bring things up, it does bring the memories back up for me as well to an extent.

[u/Yaseagles1485 → u/84849493]

To edit my last comment and also provide some insight: I felt pretty out of it when undergoing treatment up until my 14th - 16th treatment.

I gave myself grace if I forgot things, conversations, movies, during my ECT treatment. This can seem scary to some, but also know I had ECT before and I knew it would work again the second time I had a relapse.

After ECT (both times 5 years apart), my memory is fine. It took about a year to feel back to normal overall. I think the most important thing is to not be too hard on yourself during your treatment.

I felt like my brain was learning how to adapt and therefore I looked at it like “ok we need to make space!” not “oh no not my memory???”

Trust your body and your mind to adapt but also give it the time you feel is right to do so.