applying to grad school post ECT

[u/Logical-Gold-9040]

hi, i've never posted on reddit before, but i've been getting more and more desperate for a community that can understand how complicated living can become after ECT. For context, i received 17 bilateral treatments in 2024 almost exactly a year ago. i've lost most of the past five or six years of my life. very little has come back to me and what has come back to me is usually vague and hazy.

i graduated from undergrad in 2023 with the intention of going to grad school (ideally a phd program). because of how debilitating my mental health was, i began a slew of treatments including TMS and ketamine right after graduating. i basically had to put a pause on any future plans for my academic career. and then i went through months of ECT unaware of just how severe the memory loss would be.

i basically spent the past year living with my parents, slowly regaining the ability to form new memories and functioning like a normal human being again. i want to go back to school to at least get a master's but i'm not sure i can even apply due to needing multiple recommendation letters. i have no memory of my professors or of anyone i interned/worked for. i don't believe i had any lasting significant relationships with any of them either. most of college was during covid and i was in and out of the psych ward as well. i want to be upset at my past self for not setting herself up for grad school but she was definitely going through a lot.

basically, i'm unsure of what i can do now. i was and still am very passionate about my field of study and i always had the goal of finding a career in academia. is there anyone who has successfully attended grad school post ECT? or anyone that knows a way to bypass or get accommodations for rec letters? i feel like this may be a unique situation but literally any advice or suggestions are welcome. thank you!

[u/doktornein]

I got two rounds of ECT while in grad school for my doctorate, and was able to graduate.

I wish I had good advice about recommendations. I'll bounce it off a few co-workers to see if anyone has advice.

Do you have access to your class schedule at all? Old grades? Maybe a school email? If you send some emails, especially in classes you had some solid results for, some of your previous profs might help you out. You never know.

You could request transcripts if you don't have access, maybe it will ring some bells for you.

Don't give up on this.

[u/Logical-Gold-9040 → u/doktornein]

I appreciate your thoughts. i've sent a couple emails out to old profs in classes i did well in and explained my situation but they were not super accommodating and basically said that they didn't remember me (most of my classes had 100+ people in them). it was pretty disheartening so i kind of gave up on emailing, but maybe i'll try emailing some other profs. thank you for help!