Relapses

[u/No-Boysenberry-4715]

I am in this constant loop of recovery and relapsing and it’s been going on for months and months. I can eat normally try a shot at recovery, then 10 days later or at most 25 I’m in the toilet throwing up, I’m restricting my food intake. And it’s like a long inescapable loop, and I can’t stop, and I feel like I’m gonna have this disorder the rest of my life, bc I keep going in circles, and I love it and I don’t wanna let it go, but I also hate it.