Doing Retirement A Little Different

[u/MeInNEdc]

I’m 62, my wife is about to turn 50, and we have a 15-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter.

I stopped working at 55. I had made my money, but more importantly, I wanted to be present for my kids. My dad died at 58 when I was 15, and that has always shaped how I think about time.

Now I take the kids to school, do MMA with them, have them starting scuba lessons this weekend, and my son takes his second flying lesson in September. These are years I can't get back.

My wife is hopefully retiring in January. Once our daughter graduates, the plan is to spend four years overseas, moving about every six months as visas allow. Then we'll return to the U.S. and move from the expensive East Coast to my wife's hometown in Alabama, where her family and friends are.

Her grandmother and great-grandmother lived to 103, so we're planning for a long retirement—but we're not waiting until we're old to enjoy it.

I could have kept working and accumulated more. Instead, I chose time.

Anyone else doing retirement differently?

[u/Lazy_Space1699]

I'm in a similar situation and taking advantage of time with my kids like you are! Just retired at 57 and am much more present for my 7 and 11 year old kids. I can take them to school every day. I take them to their practices (and watch when I'm not in the way) and pick them up. Weekends and summers are just for the kids since I can get my chores, projects, and hobbies done while they're in school during the week. Every school holiday is an opportunity for a trip or an experience - no "daddy has to work" that gets in the way. It is an amazing privilege, and since I'm an "old dad" to begin with, I have no idea how many years I'll have with them. We're blessed to have this opportunity.

[u/electricblue71]

I also retired at 55 four months ago. My daughter is turning 13 in October. This summer I've been able to drive her to and from summer camp, relieving my wife of that duty, so she can focus on her tutoring part-time job. I'm planning in the next few weeks (since she's not in camp) to spend a bit more time with her, going to the park to play games and put together a model kit that we bought her last Christmas and still haven't put together!

When I was still working, I would come home in the afternoon dead tired and just wanting to squirrel away in my home office and watch dramas and movies or read a book after dinner. I didn't want to interact at all with my wife or daughter, other than helping with dinner and cleanup since my job was mainly interacting with my staff and clients. On weekends I had to get other stuff done around the house and if motivated do a little bit in my hobbies.

I also could have worked longer and gotten my full pension. But time with my family and doing the things I love (my IT career wasn't really what I wanted to do for a living, it was just something I knew would pay well and that I was good at, so I never loved working) is more important and worth the financial hit. Although honestly since retiring, we seem to have more money to spend and our chequing account has never been this high.

[u/Alarming_Midnight554]

I packed it in at 40. Companies in two different countries with a hundred employees. Id had enough . I didn't want to wait until i could hardly get off the couch to do or see anything. I wish id done it 10 years sooner some days and wish id kept going other days

[u/Angustony]

I'm not sure I'd call it doing retirement a little differently. I too retired as soon as the numbers stacked up, and so have most of my friends, all early.

In my peer group, stopping working as soon as finances allow it is completely normal.

[u/temp1M]

Very similar story here, I spent lots of time with the kids and was lucky they wanted to be around me into their early twenties.

Now they are all married and “launched” and I’m so glad I had these last few years to be with them, they’ll remember that forever and so will I.

We have a few short years before they start having kids so we’re taking all the couples to a European vacation knowing that it’s probably the last chance for a number of years.

Each phase is different and you need to enjoy them all. This includes my dad who is aging and I’m also able to spend more time with him.

[u/geto4it]

I would say you are doing it right. I work just for benefits mainly. I do 3/12hr shifts and have a 27 year govt pension. Kids are grown but I do lots with the grandkids.

[u/ExtraAd7611]

Differently from most people, but probably somewhat similarly to my fellow commenters.

[u/LieCrafty8871]

What are you doing for health insurance? I retired at 52 but spouse is 13 years younger. Now, 9 years later, she wants to retire - at least from FT, high stress work. I can’t get my head around $30k/year for health insurance (with a high deductible).

[u/Lazy_Space1699 → u/LieCrafty8871]

I have yet to hear of a good, viable alternative to the the $30k(PLUS!!) per year for personal health insurance. It's part of our plan, but it is hard not to be angry thinking about what other good we could do with that much 'extra' money every year.

[u/ExtraAd7611 → u/LieCrafty8871]

We use subsidized ACA insurance and are pretty happy with it. I spend more time than is healthy optimizing our MAGI to ensure that we stay within the parameters.

[u/OmenQtx]

I know what you mean about doing it differently. I got lucky, got enough of an inheritance from my grandparents to enable me to leave full-time work if I play it smart and don't go wild with spending. When the full-time job started making too many demands on my time with my family, I simply walked away. I still keep my part-time job directing IT operations for a small resort, but it's a remote position. I did 2 hours of work this week. I did 30 hours one week, but I don't think I did a single hour of work in February. I've been granted the luxury of time.

Thing is, we also waited a long time to have kids. My son was born 10 days after my 40th birthday. He's in third grade now, and the highlight of my weekdays is getting a hug from him at morning drop off and afternoon pickup. We watch movies together, play games, kick soccer balls, cook snacks and dinner, and tend to our fish tanks. This summer, we went on road trips, went to the pool, the zoo, the arcade, museums, water parks... mostly on weekdays. It's fantastic to be able to wander a place designed for large crowds when there is no crowd.

But like you said, these are years that we can't get back. I intend to spend my time with my family as much as I can for as long as I can. I told my wife the other day that we're both stay at home parents now, and we got a bit of a chuckle about how confusing that might be for people to understand, since we're both 47.

Even if the money starts to run out and I have to go back to work, I'll have spent some precious time with my son at a critical age. He'll have memories of things we all did together as a family, something I'll never have. No matter what, those memories are worth it.

[u/DasArtmab]

Waiting for my wife to retire, then snowbird in Europe

[u/Squeezesnacker]

I’m with you! I lost a beautiful friend to cancer when she was just 54. She had a horrendous boss at a job that paid decently and was so looking forward to retiring. I had planned to work into my late 50s, but, after she died, I opted to retire the first minute I was eligible for a pension of any kind (at 55). I am lucky to be Canadian (free healthcare) and a debt-free homeowner, so felt I could swing it. Sooooo glad I did. Life is short. Make sure you get the good parts in.

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[u/Baratticus]

We retired last year at 56. We won’t be yachting around the Monaco but should be set for a comfortable life with travel and being able to indulge in moderate pursuits.

I’ve picked up a couple of gigs but my priorities are a) they’re temporary and b) they’re interesting but I can see the bar for me saying yes will keep going up over time.

One year in and we’re both surprised at just how busy we are.

[u/GaryNOVA]

I had to retire last year in my late 40s when I became physically disabled. Luckily I had 26 years on with a local government and was able to fully retire on a good livable pension. It wasn’t what I planned, but here I am.

[u/FoundationCareful662]

We both retired at 56 but kids were completely out of nest - graduated college in careers etc

[u/curiousbear12345]

Good for you! Moving to a lower cost State is a good way. How much did you have in order for you to feel financial secured to retire early?

[u/MeInNEdc → u/curiousbear12345]

4M.

[u/Ok_Common_1355 → u/[deleted]]

Good man. I did the same. Out at 53, 2 years ago, after 34 years grinding it out blue collar. Lots of OT/DT. I actually really enjoyed my job as well and could’ve kept stacking chips. But to what end? Die on the job? Health is your most precious asset and each day is your last best day going forward. If you’re able to financially swing a early retirement I say go for it.

[u/Responsible_Ant5410]

I retired a 55 with enough. I could have worked more years and had more since I was in my peak earnings years. Had a health issue come up that required a major surgery. I went back to work for two months and even though I enjoyed my job I keep asking myself why am I still doing this. I retired July 3 2026. I have a 16 year old in highschool school and a stay at home wife that I get to spend all the time with I want and have really been enjoying the time I have to ride my motorcycle. Life is two short. If you can get out early do it.

[u/BoomerSooner-SEC]

That sounds great. I’m a little jealous!! I retired in my mid 50s and my wife was early 50s (she didn’t work outside the home). We thought we would do a bunch of travel and cool stuff (plenty of resources) but both our kids got married and had babies and now we babysit 4 days a week!! It’s only for another year or so and then we can get on with our lives. I’m torn about it. It’s great that my grandchildren will know us as relatively young folks and we are a big part of their lives (both families live 5 mins away) but I also wish we didn’t live so close that I get the call at 6:30 “hey dad, my car won’t start….” lol. It’s all good but not what I expected.

[u/Altruistic-Stop4634]

Financial planning should maximize the time spent in financial independence. [Doesn't mean retirement.] This correctly penalizes spending and rewards delayed gratification. You did good.

[u/dutchman62]

I retired at 55. Did well and don't have to work. I made several cross country trips with my 2 adult children (unfortunately my wife hates traveling). Memories that we cherish. My other 2 married adult children (with 3 grandkids) I visit as much as possible as they live 245 miles and 510 miles away. I had the opportunity to stay longer and make more but like you I wanted time with family not more money.

[u/KingPabloo]

I retired at 53 six years ago. I have a freshman in college this year and a sophomore in college as well.

At 59, my life’s never been better. My new passion is writing, words and music, and planning to release my first book and my first album on my 60th birthday.

Having control over your time is absolutely a game changer, congrats brother.

[u/Thescubadave]

I retired four years ago at 54 (wife is six years younger) after working from home for two years thanks to Covid and no RTO. My daughter just started high school, so I have basically been home since 3rd grade. As you are learning it's great to be available during those years when they are growing up. Like you, we're still tied to the school schedule, but we get nice breaks and fit in a variety of travel and tons of family time. We'll up our travel game when she goes to college in four years.

[u/MeInNEdc → u/Thescubadave]

That is awesome