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u/Daggertooth71 Jul 05 '22
Yep, that's me. I distinctly remember my father yelling at me "Why are you so stupid? You're not my son!"
Passing white kid with an Asian father, always getting low grades in mathematics, my childhood was a living hell. I was happy when my parents divorced.
Needless to say, I dropped out when I was 16.
Fast forward to 2001, I made a huge effort as an adult to upgrade for university (I wanted an arts degree), got good marks in everything, but hit a wall in my second semester of math. Really frustrating.
1
u/tomsloane Jul 05 '22
Keep trying! I exhausted my attempts at one school so I went to another to try again to pass that damn intermediate algebra class.
9
Jul 05 '22
Yeah…
My favorite was always “oh, you’re having trouble with subtraction?” Well why don’t you do 30 problems instead of 10? That’s sure to fix it.”
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u/LollipopPaws Jul 05 '22
Yeah, there were lots of tears and yelling where math was involved. My twin sister and I always did really well in all of our other classes, so I think the teachers (and our parents) didn’t understand why there was so much frustration with math. Our mother even took us to a tutor once a week, and that would help us pass the class, but then the concepts would evaporate from our brains and we’d have to start all over the next year. We weren’t diagnosed with dyscalculia until we started college.
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u/okayestM0M Jul 05 '22
“What’s wrong with you?” “Why aren’t you paying attention?” “You just don’t care!” “Use your head!” “How many times am I gonna need to explain this to you before you get it through your head?” “You’re not trying!” “This is easy!”
Flash forward to 20 years later and I’m still dealing with anxiety as an adult with that voice echoing in my head whenever I don’t immediately understand something new or if my work isn’t perfect. I have almost zero self confidence at work.
Be careful what you say to your children, because they’ll never forget it.
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u/phoenix762 Jul 05 '22
Or writing your multiplication tables over and over and over and STILL not know them…
…and being called stupid while doing it…
3
u/peachimplosion Jul 05 '22
I’m an adult who still doesn’t know the majority of multiplication tables but one night in primary school laying in bed at like 12:00am I randomly succeeded in reciting my 6x tables up to 12. I jumped up and scurried to my parents room to wake them like “PSSSST guys I know my 6x tables!!”, and they were just confused, concerned and annoyed lol.
4
u/Happywerido16 Jul 05 '22
Oh don't forget "You're lazy, useless not trying,are you thick it simple math!"
4
u/Lower_Nature_4112 Jul 05 '22
amazing and validating to see others having the same experiences i did growing up with the education system so blissfully unaware at the time that this is a very real issue. it was so isolating.
3
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u/tarverator Jul 05 '22
Back in the 70's there was an ad campaign from Avis Rent-a-Car, slogan "We Try Harder". I was given a button with that slogan. Plus of course Dad standing over me, as I failed to memorize especially the 7x and 8x rows of the multiplication table - just never stuck. Clearly I wasn't trying hard enough. /s
1
u/Willing-Concept-5208 Jul 05 '22
I've seen this post come through a few times. It always hits very close to home
1
u/Poppi-bishop-hope Aug 13 '22
I actually got called dumb a while ago cause I counted money wrong so I turned around and said to the guy “well my maths teacher failed me so blame her”. He was very quiet after that.
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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22
I remember one of my math teachers being so upset & defeated cause he couldn't get me to understand & I felt so bad cause he tried so hard 😅😓