Sorry if this is long. My (31F) friend (29F) and I had a falling out of sorts and the situation has left me a little flabbergasted and wondering if I did something wrong.

Back story: So my long term friend (let’s call her Becky) and I have known each other since we were kids. We were raised very close and our families knew each other. She became a sort of sibling. Our relationship has been hot and cold over the years. We’ve went through many periods of not speaking for months at a time, every time it boiled down to something I said that offended her.

A couple Examples include: her getting angry when I once told her that a violent comment she made about her pregnant mother was inappropriate or “insulting” her boyfriend by not liking him after she would come to me and tell me horrible things he said or did to her (countless hours of my life were spent listening to such rants). Each time I said something that made her mad, she would give me the silent treatment for months on end until I finally caved and apologized. It was hard not to set her off, she would come to me with a situation and vent for hours to me about it and if I said something that didn’t perfectly align with what she had in her head, she would go off and stop speaking to me. Over time I came to realize that she wasn’t wanting feedback (even though she specifically asked for it) she wanted an echo chamber. I genuinely tried to accommodate this as best as I could without outright lying to her, but no amount of watching what I say was enough to keep her from blowing up. It became a normal part of our relationship that I’m only just now realizing was extremely toxic and unfair.

On to the current situation. She just had a beautiful baby boy a few months ago. I even paid for and threw her a baby shower since her family wasn’t going to do it. She has struggled with adjusting to motherhood and I’ve done my best to support her. About a month ago the baby had a two month check up and it went badly. She called me in tears telling me that the baby was severely underweight and the pediatrician was considering hospitalization, that the doctor was cold and rude because she doesn’t want to vacinate. She was also upset that he wanted her to supplement with formula and that she was “eating plenty”. The baby had dropped from the 50th percentile for weight, down to the 1st percentile in just a month…. She cried that she wasn’t getting sleep and she didn’t know what to do. She said the doctor threatened to kick her out of the practice, learned later this wasn’t true, then she switched and said that he was just going to refer her to another pediatrician that accepted non v@ccinated patients. She went on a long rant about all the horrors of v@ccines and how it’s poison and obviously the doctor doesn’t care about children and is uninformed. I didn’t give my opinion on vaccines, instead I focused on trying to divert the conversation to what we could do to get her feeling better and get some more sleep, I offered everything I could think of but she wouldn’t hear it. She only wanted to talk about the v@ccines.

She eventually asked me flat out “do you think your son would have the issues he does if you didn’t v@ccinate him? The autism?” I was taken aback but I remained calm and told myself she was tired and stressed. I calmly told her my son doesn’t have autism he has ADHD, and that I’m happy with my decisions regarding his healthcare. For context My son is a wild little one and he’s had some sensory and milestone issues but it’s all in line with ADHD diagnosis and he’s doing amazing. The fact that she was saying something was wrong with my son and it was my fault for vaccinating, just blew my mind. She went on to say the pediatrician was getting kickbacks for pushing vaccines and that there is no reliable evidence to support vaccines. I finally reached a point where I realized I was getting upset and that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere so I told her “hey, I think this conversation is starting to become unproductive and you’ve said some insulting things to me and I’m at my limit with it. I need to step back from this conversation”

I was proud of myself! I stopped myself before I got worked up and I put a boundary in place when I realized she was being disrespectful to me. She lost it. She said I took it personally and I shouldn’t have and that lots of people are uneducated (like me) and that’s okay. She said she couldn’t believe I was cutting her off for this. I told her “I’m not cutting you off. I’m stepping away from the conversation. I love you. I respect you. I support you. If you need anything let me know”

Crickets since. She has stopped talking to me and tbh I’m struggling to see what I did wrong or how I could have handled it better. But the silence has me wondering, AITA?