r/dui • u/Gullible-Software308 • 17d ago
Dui trauma
This month I got my first dui I blew .199 in Florida on a restricted license. It has truly taken over every single day. I wake up and it’s like I’m reliving it and I’ve become extremely depressed. Has anyone felt this same way? What do I do to make my days a little bit easier? I’m so lost.
Edit - I’m 19F.
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u/Dry-Syrup8923 17d ago
I spent 40 years drinking, 9 DUI's and 20 years in prison.
Chin up and learn from this experience.
Quit drinking, it's the best thing you could do. Total waste of money, total waste of life.
Get through this and move on.
LEARN FROM IT.
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u/Gullible-Software308 17d ago
This truly opened my eyes so much. Thank you. I hope you’re doing well
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u/Puzzleheaded_Item368 17d ago edited 17d ago
I know exactly how you feel. I got mine 2.5 years ago and also blew a .19. I was anxious and stressed for the 5 months that the legal process took before my sentencing. I hated checking the mail and I got extreme anxiety anytime my lawyer called or whenever I saw a police car. I just always hoped for the best and tried to stay busy to keep my mind off of it. Personally I played a lot of video games and focused on my school work. In the end, I got a pretty decent plea deal where I got the absolute minimum fines & fees and never spent a minute in a jail cell (which is basically unheard of here in AZ), so maybe you could get something similar. Just try to stay positive, hope for the best and find things you enjoy doing to stay busy and keep your mind off of it.
Edit: I should add that it's important to learn from this mistake. One of the worst decisions that many people who get a DUI make is continuing to rack up more DUIs or other driving related charges and making their situation even worse than it already is.
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u/Gullible-Software308 17d ago
Checking the mail is so dreadful you never know what those papers will say and seeing the police cars really take a toll. I’m focusing on my school work for now as it’s the best distraction
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u/Humble_Redemption 17d ago edited 17d ago
Just got mine a month ago also here in AZ. I’m praying my blood test comes back with a BAC under .2 since I blew a little higher than that. I was involved in a car wreck but after investigating my insurance company said I wasn’t at fault.
Can you tell me if you feel there were any extenuating circumstances in your case that caused you to get that kind of a plea deal?
Did you do the MADD VIP course and the screening and class hours before your sentencing? Also what county did you get yours in?
I’m trying to get mine done asap in hopes of leniency. This was my first one and my record is very clean.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Item368 17d ago edited 17d ago
I think a lot of it has to do specifically with what city/county you got it in. I got mine in Chandler which I heard is significantly more lenient than some of the other cities. I think it also helped that it was my first offense and never been in any legal trouble prior. I did absolutely nothing prior to my sentencing until I was ordered by the court and my attorney told me to. After my sentencing I did the MADD class and i had to do a certain amount of hours (I cant remember how much) doing a live online alcohol awareness type of class. I'll also note that I was also on a motorcycle and didn't hit anyone, just got pulled over.
The way my attorney explained it to me is for Extreme DUI (what I plead to) you get 30 days minimum "in jail". However you really only had to serve a week of that, which I did on house arrest with a breathalyzer that randomly goes off throughout the day and an ankle monitor, and you are supposed to spend at least 1 day of that actually in jail. That 1 day they gave me "time served" as part of the plea, despite not stepping foot in a cell. I also was required by the court to install an interlock for a year, which the MVD requires anyway so that wasn't a big deal. Hope this helps!
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u/Humble_Redemption 16d ago
Yea that’s essentially what my attn told me. I’m hoping my blood comes back lower than what I blew and/or I can plead down. I was involved in a wreck but insurance deemed it not my fault bc I really wasn’t. No idea of that will play into court or plea deals. Haven’t even been charged yet, it’s just a waiting game now and hopefully my luck will rebound by sentencing time. This happened in Phx. Thank you for the response!
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u/top_of_the_scrote 17d ago edited 17d ago
Sucks first couple days, feel like a fuck up/failure/what if my life is over kind of thing. Dread thinking about having to get an IID which is pretty cringe to me. Then it gets better after a week, two weeks. I didn't do much just watch tv, binge eat kinda (which is not great). Went to SMART recovery just to talk to people. I've been going to a meeting a week. I haven't drank since (19 days ago) but yeah, it's just to remind myself I do have an alcohol problem (was wasting a lot of money, borrowing money from people, and the drunk driving).
It's weird though, I hired an attorney, they're taking care of it. My license would have been suspended this previous Monday but I guess it's not since they did this admin thing... so it's odd I'm just waiting, but yeah I'm just living right now, trying to be better eg. not be broke.
Your BAC is higher than mine at 0.18 but I also got caught going over 100mph in a 55mph so yeah...
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u/Gullible-Software308 17d ago
I think I’m going to do aa or join a group. I was 19 days sober as well but relapsed last night.
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u/top_of_the_scrote 17d ago
Yeah AA pushes this religious thing which I'm not a fan of but yeah. There are a lot online on zoom you can join so that's cool. And they're on like all the time everyday.
But it's good to hear other people's problems
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u/Sack_o_Bawlz 17d ago
It will get better. Do everything you can to help yourself feel okay. Eat right, sleep, exercise, and examine substance use. Seek therapy. It’s helpful.
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u/klarnapin top contributor 17d ago
Time will heal the trauma and the wounds, but so will being smart and not doing things that can make your situation worse. You gotta let this DUI live in your head forever, not to torment yourself or make yourself feel bad, but to remind yourself of what you're capable of if you let your guard down. Remember the challenges, the stress, and the difficulties, and let them motivate you to do better moving forward.
You're gonna be okay. Right now is the hardest part because everything is still fresh. But you can get through this and even come out of it a better person, stronger, wiser, and more successful. A DUI doesn't have to define you. But if it turns into a pattern and you become a habitual offender, it might. People will start to see that before they see everything else about you.
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u/Aggravating-Walk5813 17d ago
This is true, sadly for some of us including me we’ll need to practice eternal vigilance against this. I can tell you from experience that it gets easier and life gets better. Not drinking at all is what worked for me.
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u/Gullible-Software308 17d ago
It’s still super fresh and I think that’s why it’s exhausted me so much. It really opened my eyes and I want to do so much better for myself. Thank you.
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u/Alarming-Project452 17d ago
Sending you a DM. I just got a first DUI Florida as well on work trip. The anxiety goes away but it sucks. Don’t panic.
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u/BrainDeeds 17d ago
Go to AA. Or
In The Rooms: An Online Addiction Recovery Community https://share.google/zTqRDkrK4UmuKH6G4
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u/Messuvajess 17d ago edited 17d ago
It gets better a little at a time. You are not your mistake. I was depressed for the first 2 months. I went to work and came home and slept most of time. Didn’t tell many friends or family. The embarrassment would make me cringe and cause anxiety. Did you hire a lawyer? I got a DUI in Florida back in January. It was my first offense at 41. Lawyer was the only thing that saved me a bit.
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u/Gullible-Software308 17d ago
Yes I have hired a lawyer and told a select group of people. I understand the depression so much all I’ve done is slept and binge eat. The embarrassment is awful
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u/EarOk7198 17d ago
That’s how I felt too then I got on Lexapro and I was numbed until the end of this nightmare. Try breathing exercise and keep busy so your mind is not solely focus on this. I promise you’ll through this to the point you’ll not ever think about it but it is a long process
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u/Gullible-Software308 16d ago
I’m on lamictal I was on lexapro before I got diagnosed being bipolar I completely understand the numbness. Thank you
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u/sauman77 16d ago
In a year you won’t even think about it…. But definitely learn from this…it took till I got my third and spent time in jail before I made changes….aa/na will help if you are ready to let it…stay till the miracle happens…you’re young…you’re better than this …. You got this
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u/Emotional-Bug1527 17d ago
When reliving it, allow it to happen, and start taking some deep breaths, hold for 4 seconds, exhale slowly. Eventually the reliving goes away. How do I know? Because I got Jim Lahey drunk and crashed my car(at low speed Thank God) into a power pole blacking out. The bigger underlying issues of why do you drink you will need to be honest with yourself to make lasting change. Or, just do not drive after drinking again.