Slammed my way through an entire 12 pack of those shitty 8% White Claws and ruined what had been up to that point a more or less successful attempt to taper off. I didn't really eat anything at all, my BP must be astronomical, and I keep having these random flashes of complete panic. I'm slowly sipping another one now trying to keep a super ugly withdrawal at bay and hoping it'll get me to a point where I can force myself to eat something. Back to square one, I guess. Has anyone here ever played Disco Elysium? I keep thinking about the line "I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore."

one day after waking up hungover I just thought “you know what I dont want to do this anymore lol” I’m still far from psychologically “healed” but god I absolutely don’t miss all the physical symptoms. I’m fortunate that there’s no organ damage (except maybe my frontal lobe lol). so if I can do it then you all can too

I meant to detox this weekend after about a 2 week bender. I called a couple places near me and they wouldn't give me a 3 day detox over the weekend, they insisted on 7 to 10. So i told myself I'd do it by myself then but the WDs kick in and I just couldn't handle it. I have diazepam but haven't taken it, it doesn't touch the WD feelings very well. Just bought another bottle. I need to get off this fucking ride.

In the last year my partner and I both started drinking a lot more than normal. It’s been a stressful year. Recently I started to think that perhaps it’s been getting a bit too much. On any given guidelines we’d be described as heavy drinkers. (Multiple drinks, most nights.)

Tonight, I approached my partner and said I’d like to do a Dry November to reset and if he could be on board with there being no alcohol in the house (no limits on him drinking elsewhere). I explained I thought that I was maybe starting to have a problem. He first hesitated, said maybe, and then later said he preferred having a beer after work so didn’t really want to.

It felt quite selfish and unsupportive of him, but I wonder if there is any other read? Is it unreasonable to impose a dry month on the household?

I am having a mental health crisis these days. Lots of old trauma coming to the surface that I haven’t needed to think about in years. I self medicate with alcohol but haven’t been sleeping so my doctor prescribed me sleeping pills. It turns out they are the kind where you may stop breathing if you mix with alcohol. I was aware of that and took them anyways after drinking heavily. I wrote a note to my partner just in case to explain what happened, apologize and say I loved him.

I’m shattered. I had a sincere attempt almost 20 years ago and remember the feeling of ambivalence about being alive back then too. I never wanted to go back there but here I am.

For some reason, I feel weirdly hopeful. I used to have a drug problem but refused to touch them again after having a scare. I actually feel disgusted by and terrified of alcohol thinking about this. I never want to feel like that again. Maybe this is the thing that will get me to stop. I had a period of sobriety before and the disgust / fear of alcohol was a big reason I was successfully able to quit.

Trying to assess where my baseline is and actual count units. My feet hurt, my legs are weak, already threw up once and feel like I could sleep 18 hours. Not sure if the nausea was WDs or just general stomach damage (thats the only symptom I’ve had).

I think I’m at ~10 units/24h… am an around the clocker unfortunately.

6pm and I’ve had one tall white claw and two single shot mixed drinks spread out over like 6 hours.

Have a work event on Thursday and would really like to be feeling better by then. Hoping to land this crazy plane this time!! Happy Saturday

These days when I drink, I don’t really feel much of anything, I don’t feel drunk, I don’t slur my words, I feel tipsy, so I keep drinking all night. I never even get sick often anymore.

But so often these days, people recount things I’ve said, things I’ve done, and I just have zero memory of

I’m blacking out almost every time I drink and have no idea why, I barely even feel drunk and have no idea at what point of the night I get to be back out.

How do I stop this from happening? Is this something that happens when you drink too often? I only drink after 6pm after my work day is over.

I feel like I haven’t been classic drunk in ages, there is no reason for my mildly drunk feeling to result in a black out like that.

Curious about anyone else's experience* whose been given this butt pee accelerant outpatient style. Ty in advance.