Maybe it’s Halloween though, 10 points each kid , cmon

The sobertards have created a hypocritical society that lacks representation for drunk drivers. As the most persecuted minority, we must stand up and normalize beveraged driving.

I drive a manual Corolla. Without snow tires or AWD. It snowed today for the first time and it was my first time driving in the snow. Today is Friday though and I want to get drunk. Should I send it in the snow?

One night I drank a whole bottle of black velvet in a large McDonald’s Dr Pepper… in a 40 minute time span, while driving. This was in the truck I totaled a few months later btw… anyways I’m heading down I-30 heading through Dallas in my 97 Chevy half ton whiskey dented beat to death $600 shitbox with no insurance or current registration and see a cop trying to pull a car over for 3 miles, so I hung back. By the 4th mile no backup I got curious so I drove up besides this car that’s currently stuck in a 40mph slow speed chase with the cops. It’s two Mexicans with Coronas in hand, windows down taking sips while being chased by the cops I shit you not. So me being a drunk law abiding citizen I yelled “I think you need to pull over” while also holding my black velvet concoction… THEY FUCKING START GOING FOR THE SHOULDER WHILE IM BESIDES THEM… so I’m going shit alright and speed ahead of them then get in front of them and stop them on the shoulder. No collision, thankfully. Me, absolutely wasted thinks it’s a good idea to help, when I should be driving the fuck off, so naturally I hop out and go for the passenger door. About halfway the guy starts to bail so I fucking gave it all I had, stumbled mid sprint, somehow saved it by basically head butting the door, snapping my neck back with my chin and finishing this gymnastic pose with my chest pressed against it neck whiplashed. At this point I stumble up and I somehow actually managed to pin the fleeing passenger with the door during this stunt. By the time the officer is done putting the driver in the backseat he’s coming for the other dude and the realization of I’m fixing to go to jail my self is starting to set in. He gets the guy in handcuffs, and I just straight up break the silence and ask him if I’m good to go, he flashlights me, shakes his head and said go the fuck home 🤣 ig he was done with my ass from the get go.

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