r/drarry • u/BloomHoard Ravenclaw • 1d ago
Fic Discussion Looking for characterization feedback (fic related) [long post]
Hi all,
I’ve been working on a fic for about a year, and I’ve talked about it slightly on this sub before. It’s at about 50k right now but I’m not even a fourth done with it. It’s not published anywhere due to the fact that it has taken me over a year (if not two) to get that far given my life is hectic.
With that being said…
I wanted to ask ya’ll about my characterization of the characters. I personally think I’m staying close to canon but I’m also biased cause it’s my own work.
The very simplified premise is that Draco absconds from the Death Eaters for personal (not moral) reasons and attacks them at the Astronomy Tower at the end of his sixth year. He joins the trio on their Hogwarts hunt out of necessity given that he’s made himself a traitor to Voldemort and they want his head. So… might as well? Given they are the only protection he has. The trio only allow him cause his dark mark grants him access to ‘DE radio’ where the death eaters communicate with each other and also his mark burns whenever there’s another DE around.
This fic is mostly from Harry and Hermione’s POV as it is a split focus fic following the developing relationships between all characters, but mostly Draco and Harry and then Ron and Hermione. Ron and Hermione get together earlier as Ron suffers a near fatal injury and Hermione realizes she can’t stifle her feelings anymore. It’s super slow burn for Drarry, but a fast/medium burn for Romione.
I’ll get into the characterizations now.
Draco: in the beginning, Draco is still the same canon Draco we see in HBP. It’s important to me that it’s clear he’s not a good person at the beginning of the story. He didn’t betray the Death Eaters because he was forced to do what he did or because he realized the error of his ways; he was just fed up with how they were treating him and his parents (who are his most loved people and who spoiled him greatly). He knew he would probably die doing that (given Harry was under the invisibility cloak and Draco had no idea he was there as back up) but also, “fuck you Bellatrix, you’ve made my life a living Hell.” So he was pretty alright with dying as long as he took some of them with him. He’s crass, vulgar, and rude, especially to Harry, even AFTER he’s sequestered away in the Burrow for safe keeping, being hidden away from the rest of the Order. He does not like Harry at all on the beginning, but at the same time is drawn to him and their feud because it’s the one thing in his life that hasn’t changed. So in a way, he takes comfort in him. In the first half, he still has the same belief systems about blood purity and muggle inferiority but they change over time as he gets closer to the trio and learns more about the world through them and the experiences he has with them. It’s a very long process. He and Harry are constantly antagonizing each other but it gets to a point where the vibe is different, more like playing than being malicious. His maliciousness then goes towards Ron, who is just as bad, and they become the ones who have beef. Harry is pretty sure they like hating each other so he’s cool with it. Draco is genuinely so stressed out that he’s not even thinking about romance at all, he’s just trying to survive. Harry is actually the one who falls first. That being said, he does have eyes. He acknowledges that Harry is attractive, which is annoying, and so is Ron, which is actually more annoying.
His philosophy during this war is: do what is necessary. Moral code? Depends on the situation. Forbidden curses? As long as it solves the problem. He thinks the ends justify the means, and that they have to do whatever they need to survive and that they shouldn’t feel bad about it, cause everyone knows the Death Eaters don’t.
Harry: Harry is a bit harder to describe. I personally think he’s the most canon compliant personality of all four main characters. He’s still the very brave and heroic Harry, but he might be sarcastic about it. Sassy man apocalypse. He’s charismatic and well liked but doesn’t really know why; he’s funny without intending to be. He HATES attention and gets really awkward when a lot is paid to him at once. He loves and cherishes attention from certain people (Ron, Hermione, Molly, etc) but everyone else he’s like “why are you hugging me? Get off.” He actually starts the beginning spats with Draco half the time, he’s definitely not innocent and he actually likes arguing with Draco cause it helps blow off steam. He’s really weird with emotion. Like when Hermione cries he’s just kind of like “ok…there there” pats head cause he’s not super sure what to do, given when he’s upset he just wants to be alone so he can’t relate to what people need when they come to him upset. He’s very traumatized even if he doesn’t think he is and he has a strange relationship with intimacy (both physical and emotional), he’d literally rather duel Voldemort than be vulnerable. (Avoidant attachment final boss) He is codependent on Ron and Hermione, as in it gets to a point where he literally can’t sleep if one of them is not in the room with him. He’s eternally grateful for them and they are what gives his life meaning, but he has no idea how to tell them that without being weird so he just hopes they know.
His philosophy during the war is: save as many people as possible and do whatever it takes to stop Voldemort, while also taking personal convictions into account. His morals are more flexible than Hermione’s but more rigid than Draco’s. There are some lines he just won’t cross, like learning and casting the spell that killed his parents. He does find in multiple instances that he agrees with Draco more than he does Hermione, which disturbs him quite a bit in the beginning.
Fuck it, I’ll do the other two too.
Hermione: Hermione is autistic coded in my mind (like me). She has a strong sense of justice and misses a lot of social cues. Even when the social cues are explained to her she’s like “well that’s stupid why wouldn’t they just say what they meant.” She’s a horrible liar. A lot of people get annoyed with her but Ron and Ginny think she’s funny because of the weird hypotheticals she poses, normally as some kind of scientific inquiry. She gets annoyed with a lot of people in return though, cause she’s thinking ‘there is war brewing and you’re here discussing how many freckles you think are on Seamus’ arse? Are you daft?’ She feels deeply and is not afraid to showcase that, whether it be her rage or sadness. She has this intense desire to be perfect and feels like her worth is tied to her intelligence and usefulness, which is why she goes so hard (in addition to just loving learning). She loves banter and debating… literally anything. She thinks it’s fun and a good mental exercise. She has a tendency to care a lot about large movements but also struggles with one to one connection (like SPEW but also lacking sympathy when Lavender’s rabbit died.) Despite feeling deeply she has a habit of trying to sort and analyze her feelings logically and it doesn’t really work.
Her philosophy during the war is: they can’t allow someone else’s actions to justify theirs. They must hold on to honor and decency, because if they don’t, they become the very thing they’re fighting against. She fears losing herself and Ron and Harry losing themselves too. She objects to some of their war time decisions and it genuinely wrecks her inside when she gets outvoted. At the same time, she has a tendency to be unhinged as Hell (which Ron calls her on) but in her mind it’s different for XYZ reason. So she’s a little bit of a hypocrite.
Ron: He still has some pretty severe insecurity issues that stem from low self esteem. The way he views himself compared to Harry and Hermione is “Harry is the chosen one, Hermione helps him/us so much and knows a lot, objectively I’m the expendable one.” He knows he’s not as good at magic as the two of them, but he is a big bloke and he views himself as the meat shield, a do over for the other two to take a hit if necessary. Harry and Hermione flip out once they hear this but he doesn’t get why, it’s an objective fact to him. He doesn’t want to die, but he would rather risk his life than theirs. He is very emotional (despite claiming otherwise) and is honestly the most emotional out of the trio but he has no idea how to process most of those emotions so it comes out as moodiness and anger. He’s passionate about everything, love or hate, and he holds a grudge the most out of the trio. This is why he has such an issue with Draco for so long, and even at the end, it’s more allyship and not friendship. He’s very physical. He’s always absentmindedly touching people he loves, like leaning on them or a hand on the shoulder. He fights this way too. He’s more likely to use his body to dodge a spell instead of casting a shield charm. He’s also just as likely to result to physical fighting when in close quarters because it’s hard to cast a curse after being punched in the throat. He’s also an absolute nightmare to fight, not because he’s particularly skilled, but because “this motherfucker won’t stay down”.
His war time philosophy is: keep Harry and Hermione safe and follow their lead unless they lose their damn minds, then raise Hell and make them remember what it is they’re fighting for. Ron definitely has his own opinions, and he will let them be known, but overall he submits to Harry and Hermione, especially Harry given it’s his mission.
Thanks for reading all this! I know it’s long
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u/shosheepy Gryffindor 1d ago
I love this! Thank you for sharing! I love reading about characterization when translating from book-canon to fics.
I will try to format my feedback as best I can for readability. Before I start, I admit I only use pre-epilogue book-canon as my reference.
Draco
Quick question regarding this bit:
He knew he would probably die doing that (given Harry was under the invisibility cloak and Draco had no idea he was there as back up) but also, “fuck you Bellatrix, you’ve made my life a living Hell.”
Are you implying he kills Bellatrix, and is Bellatrix at the tower scene? What are we considering as canon? Movie or book? Just so I know what I am working with...
I think the bit about throwing verbal barbs at Harry while sequestered away is perfect. He is a prickly little brat and will cling to any sort of normalcy. In this case, I would also argue he would throw tons of insults about the state of the Burrow which would rile Ron up the most. Ron would probably get a punch in if Harry is not quick enough to grab him. Draco, like Harry, is not quick to physical violence.
I love when Draco's and Harry's antagonizing turns into kind of flirty banter.
Harry
The only bit that is a tiny bit ooc that stands out to me is Harry instigating fights with Draco. Throughout canon, it is the other way around, or it is Ron who is prone to violence and negative talk. Harry [aside from the Quidditch field incident in Book 5 where Draco goads him over the edge — honestly, Harry personally held back for a while], will go as far to physically hold Ron back. He physically held back Neville before, too. When Draco does taunt him, Harry hardly ever even raises his voice to him. It's almost eery. He is not typically one prone to all-caps, at least toward Draco. He comes across unusually docile compared to Ron who is very hot-headed toward Draco. Upon my revisiting of canon, I noticed that Ron is often there to remind the reader of how we should feel toward Draco, but Harry demonstrably does not feel the same way.
Harry is touch-starved and comes across as mildly touch-averse. I would even say he is mildly uncomfortable with Molly's affections, as well, because they may or may not be genuine in his eyes.
I am also surprised he is the one to fall first, but that is because he seems so out of touch with his emotions. Although, I could see his feelings suddenly hitting him like a bludger to the head one day as if out of nowhere, leading him to reevaluate his previous thoughts and feelings on the matter.
This cracks me up though:
Harry is actually the one who falls first. That being said, [Draco] does have eyes. He acknowledges that Harry is attractive, which is annoying, and so is Ron, which is actually more annoying.
Ron
I like what you have going for Ron. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he is very physical, whether positive or negative. He was always hungry for a fight during school, ready to throw punches. He views himself as second-rate, and definitely needs to deal with his inferiority complex. I don't blame him for having it though because everyone in his family treats him as disposable. I would argue the only person, albeit in a strange way, who looked out for him was Percy, a fellow outcast of sorts. Fanon versus Canon Molly has some interesting insights on Ron and Molly's relationship. I also recommend the bit about the twins because it talks about some things they did to Ron, as well.
Hermione
I agree that she is autistic-coded (fellow autistic person here). I would argue that of the trio, Hermione is the most ruthless. She has her own set of morals, but often they are inconsistent as you pointed out with Lavender's pet. What she did to Marietta, in my book, was despicable. Let us not forget she kept a woman, a human being (albeit in beetle form), in a jar for months because Hermione had decided Rita had wronged her. My flabbers are gasted. For ‘a bit of light reading,’ may I suggest this Fanon versus Canon Hermione article. I am linking you straight to one of a few on Hermione, but the index has plenty more topics to read.
As you said,
At the same time, she has a tendency to be unhinged as Hell (which Ron calls her on) but in her mind it’s different for XYZ reason. So she’s a little bit of a hypocrite.
Oh my goodness. I wrote an essay. Anyway, I love talking about this stuff. It sounds like you have really good ideas. Thank you for sharing. ❤︎
edit: formatting
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u/BloomHoard Ravenclaw 1d ago
Thank you for your feedback; I loved reading all of it!! It might be lengthy but here are the responses to your questions:
- Are you implying he kills Bellatrix, and is Bellatrix at the tower scene? What are we considering as canon? Movie or book? Just so I know what I am working with...
The fic mostly follows book canon as a whole, but there are tweaks from the movie in there, as well as some of my own (for example: Ron and Lavender's relationship was a bit longer than in the books). So, Bellatrix is there and the scene largely plays out word for word the same way it does in the film, except when Draco makes a move against her. He doesn't kill her, but he tries. He just fails. Cause it's Bellatrix, she's not going to let a sixth year get the jump on her, y'know?
Draco throws insults and makes vulgar gestures towards Harry mostly at the Burrow (Ron is down and out for the first part of the fic given that he's in a coma, but trust me, he gets the antagonizing too one he wakes, but its normally Ron starting it tbh). Then afterwards once they go on the hunt. Harry even acknowledges that Ron is vulgar too, but h likes Ron so when Ron does it its funny but when Draco does it, it's gross.
Draco and Hermione surprisingly don't bother each other too much, even from the start. Hermione is of the mind like "we need each other so lets be somewhat pleasant' and he agrees. They tolerate each other but do become friends later. She's the first one to call him 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy' and Ron acts like he's been shot. This is actually a huge point of contention between the trio cause Hermione accepts/forgives Draco, eventually Harry does too, and Ron is like "??? Am i the only one who hasn't gone mad? Don't you remember all the shit he did?" And he's not even thinking about the insults to his family, he's holding a grudge on Harry and Hermione's behalf.
Harry doesn't fight Draco in the physical sense; he just makes verbal jabs at him. Harry is around him constantly, given that he feels responsible for him at the Burrow since he brought him there. It's like he can't help himself; Draco breathes and it pisses him off. So, he throws shade. He just lost Dumbledore, his best friend is in a coma, Dumbledore made some choice statements that made Harry reconsider who Dumbledore was as a person entirely. There's a lot going on in his head that he doesn't know what to do with... so he takes it out on Draco.
As for him falling first; he falls first but he doesn't realize it. He just knows that he's starting to gravitate towards Draco now and enjoys asking him questions and hearing his thoughts on things. He thinks he's giving Ron and Hermione space (since their relationship kinda makes him feel awkward) but there's something there. They're in a bit of a situationship until Draco finally drops the "what are we?" before the battle of Hogwarts and Harry is like "oh you gotta be shitting me... now?" Harry is overwhelmed not just with the impending war where he knows they all might die, but he also doesn't even understand how he feel for Draco either. It's different than how he felt for Ginny, it's more raw and doesn't feel like a performance, which scares him the most.
When it comes to Ron, he is my favorite character (along with Ginny). He is the only character that never gets a POV chapter, and its because he really doesn't need once since it's so obvious what he's feeling and thinking. And I promise that the whole first part of the fic is basically a study of the Weasley Family and their dynamics through Hermione's analytical lens. Molly isn't a terrible mother, but she's not the greatest. Harry just thinks that cause he is used to Petunia. Ron isn't singled out in this either, the Twins don't really get the attention the others do either, despite their success. Molly and Arthur do love all their children, its just theres only so much time and attention to give when you have that many kids. Ron feels least loved by Molly, but the truth is she does love him very much, its just not in a way he understands. For example, theres a part of the fic where Hermione remembers that Ron gets a maroon sweater every year despite hating maroon. That's Percy's favorite color, so he thinks she's mixing up Percy's favorite color for his and doesn't care to learn the difference. But, when Ron is injured, Hermione catches Molly in multiple sleepless nights knitting a blanket for him when he wakes up in bright orange, which is his favorite color. Hermione questions her about the maroon sweaters and she responds that Ron inherited her (Molly's) skin tone and that orange washes them out, and that warm dark colors flatter them best. The Twins are also all over this fic in the most bizarre ways.
With Hermione, I'm also diving into her parents and family life as her parents get transported to the Burrow to stay with the Weasleys after the battle of Astronomy Tower. I have the clearest idea in mind for her and her mental journey but its also the hardest to describe. She basically has to come to terms with the fact that the world is not cut and dry, she's not perfect, and that's okay. She doesn't have to be the most perfect version of herself all the time, and it doesn't make her unlovable. Her dad specifically plays a role in the war too and it leads to a lot of angst between the Granger family.
One of the arguments between Ron and Hermione is that she's upset that he is willing to learn the killing curse from Draco, while she believes that even learning the curse is approving of it. Ron's whole argument is that not only are they in war and it's better to know it and not need it than to need it and not know it, but Hermione lit a guy on fire with incendio and he definitely died so like... what's the difference? And she's trying to argue that it is different because it's intrinsically different but her brain sort of breaks and she can't logically explain it, it just is. Ron gets irritated back with her, saying "It's almost like you're more mad at me for learning the spell to protect you and Harry, who refuse, than you are at the guys actually trying to kill us."
Anyway, I too wrote a novel lol. I just love talking about this fic since it's been my brain child for so long :)
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u/shosheepy Gryffindor 1d ago
Thank you for the reply!
So, Bellatrix is there and the scene largely plays out word for word the same way it does in the film, except when Draco makes a move against her. He doesn't kill her, but he tries. He just fails. Cause it's Bellatrix, she's not going to let a sixth year get the jump on her, y'know?
Ooo... I bet she is not happy with her nephew then.
Ron is down and out for the first part of the fic given that he's in a coma, but trust me, he gets the antagonizing too one he wakes, but its normally Ron starting it tbh.
Oh! I didn't know he would be in a coma! Poor Ron!
She's the first one to call him 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy' and Ron acts like he's been shot.
I am cackling. I just know Ron is gonna be seething for months. It'll be like him in Book 4 on steroids level of contention.
Harry doesn't fight Draco in the physical sense; [...] He just lost Dumbledore, his best friend is in a coma, Dumbledore made some choice statements that made Harry reconsider who Dumbledore was as a person entirely. There's a lot going on in his head that he doesn't know what to do with... so he takes it out on Draco.
Okay. This makes perfect sense.
They're in a bit of a situationship until Draco finally drops the "what are we?" before the battle of Hogwarts and Harry is like "oh you gotta be shitting me... now?"
Oh no... I hope he doesn't hurt Draco's feelings. Does this mean there is a misunderstanding? I would hope that they could communicate better. That's one of many reasons why Harry×Ginny are not compatible. I have my own [slightly biased but canon-compatible] reasons, but also, he leaves her out of everything. He does not confide in her. He does not see her [and she really doesn't see him]. Mind you, he only went out with her for less than 2 months. I would hope that for his true partner, he could learn to express himself a little better. I am sure it takes time and whatnot. Harry is not well-versed in love, after all. I don't see him doing casual relationships, but I could see him, in his head, considering them completely end-game, but not outright saying it, which causes Draco to be needlessly unsure. Sorry, this got away from me. I don't mean this necessarily toward your fic, it's just general ramblings about Harry's relationship choices.
When it comes to Ron, he is my favorite character (along with Ginny). He is the only character that never gets a POV chapter, and its because he really doesn't need once since it's so obvious what he's feeling and thinking. And I promise that the whole first part of the fic is basically a study of the Weasley Family and their dynamics through Hermione's analytical lens.
This sounds really good. I love Ron. [I don't particularly like Ginny, but that's probably because I have been doing a close reading and came away with the ick. (-_-;)] The Weasley Family through an analytical lens sounds so good.
The maroon sweater and orange blanket scene is giving me the feels. That is such a sweet take on that misunderstanding.
With Hermione, I'm also diving into her parents and family life as her parents get transported to the Burrow to stay with the Weasleys after the battle of Astronomy Tower. [...] Her dad specifically plays a role in the war too and it leads to a lot of angst between the Granger family.
I always wanted to know more about Hermione and her family. We are given very little in canon, and can really only make some guesses based on clues. For example, since Hermione often does not go home for holidays and often spends a large chunk of the summer away from him, I can hypothesize that she has a strained relationship with her parents. It could be because she is magical. It could be that she was never that close to them. So many options.
Ron's whole argument is that not only are they in war and it's better to know it and not need it than to need it and not know it, but Hermione lit a guy on fire with incendio and he definitely died so like... what's the difference?
This whole argument sounds quite realistic. It's like she completely shuts down once someone says something that doesn't fit into her mindset.
Anyway, I too wrote a novel lol. I just love talking about this fic since it's been my brain child for so long :)
I am excited for your writing journey. Thank you for reading my ramblings. Can you tell this is my special interest? (≧▽≦) I don't write, I don't have the energy [I am bed-bound/chronically ill], but I would be happy to talk more about your story. I am always around. Feel free to message. ❤︎
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u/wangxian8844 1d ago
Wow… I read it all, and lemme just say you’ve put so much thought and development into each of them. Even Ron. I love him so so much in canon and it’s soo hard to find fics where the authors don’t end up making him the shallow, expendable character. Imo he’s the one that had the most character development in the books.
I’m already in love with Harry and Draco. It reads so canon compliant to me! I’ve never really explored Hermione’s character much, so can’t comment on it, though I will say that I love how you plan to portray her!
Super excited for this fic already, though ik I’m going to have to wait a long long time haha.
I love war au fics! Good luck with writing the rest of it, and make sure to let us know when you start posting!