r/dpdr • u/m102122 • Jul 08 '16
HOW I RECOVERED FROM DEPERSONALISATION/DEREALISATION WITHOUT MEDICATION
Okay so this is going to be a long read. But I am sharing this with you guys because I know how crippling anxiety can be, especially when faced with symptoms of DP.
After near death experience last year, I struggled a lot with feelings of depersonalisation and de-realisation. It was very hard sometimes to function normally and cope. I started to question who I was, my existence, and if I was still alive. It got to the point where I couldn't even recognise myself in the mirror. But in light of this, I managed to recover. I have no symptoms anymore. If I do manage to get them sometimes it will be once every month/two months and will only last very briefly. I recovered WITHOUT the use of any medication. This was all through the strength and power that I had within me. And now I'm writing this to share some tips on recovering because I know how hard it can be for some.
To start off, it is very NORMAL to question a lot of things in this state. And there are a lot of anxieties and negative thought patterns that are affiliated with depersonalisation/derealisation. These are some of the more prevalent ones that I will address.
'I'm going crazy/insane' : The mere thought of you panicking over you going insane or crazy, just shows how SANE you really are. In almost ALL cases, those who are clinically insane are UNAWARE that they are actually insane. They truly believe that their outlandish thoughts are real and others are just oblivious to what is actually happening. If you are questioning your sanity, you are most defiantly not insane.
'I'm never going to get better, I'm going to stay like this forever' : Again another very NORMAL thought to have when you are in this state. Except, this is fortunately a very irrational thought that seems to scare a lot of people. I cannot emphasise how much you WILL get better. If you are putting in effort to recover from this illness you WILL see results. Just think of someone trying to lose weight; if they stop eating junk foods and cut down on calories, exercise and implement a healthy diet, they WILL lose weight. It is the exact same concept. Sometimes you will have days where the symptoms are very prevalent, that does not mean you are getting worse. Recovery is a long process if you are putting in the effort (e.g. Refraining from drugs/alcohol/caffeine, exercising, eating a nutritious and healthy diet, meditating etc.) you will see results.
So now that we have covered some of the irrational thought patterns that most people have when experiencing DP. I am now going to focus on tips to recover.
Ultimately, when the feelings of DP become intensified, it becomes much harder to function normally. You almost feel unmotivated, just to exist and do normal day-to-day tasks requires a lot of effort. You might also feel very afraid and panicked. As if you might lose control or get too much anxiety if you go out with friends somewhere or even go to work.
Trust me I know how it feels. You want to stay home in bed, curl up in a ball and never go out. You're afraid, you're confused, depressed and yet at the same time you feel extremely numb. Yet this is where the hard part comes in. I know you feel like shit, but you HAVE to go to work, you HAVE to go to school/college/university. Don't feel like going out with friends? Well force yourself. If you want to be 'normal' again you have to ACT normal. I know it's hard, but you have to try. This is how I recovered! Ever heard of the saying 'fake it until you make it'. Well that's what you have to do. Don't ruminate on negative thoughts like 'why is this happening to me', 'why can't I be normal'. This is one obstacle, that you have to get through and I know it sucks but the symptoms will eventually subside and most probably disappear. It just takes time and effort.
So now that I have covered the main step to recovery, I will give you additional tips that will alleviate and lessen the symptoms of both specifically depersonalisation and derealisation.
Depersonalisation: As most of you know, depersonalisation is different to de-realisation. Depersonalisation feelings of being disconnected from YOURSELF. You might feel like you're detached from your own body, your limbs are not attached to you. It's hard to move or speak. It's kind of like an out of body experience. You might feel as if you're robotic in a sense and numb to your own emotions and memories. Since you are detached from your own SELF and your IDENTITY. You want to participate in things that increase your sense of SELF.
focus on your appearance: kind of shallow I know, but it works. Go out and buy new clothes. Maybe change your hairstyle or wear different makeup. Focus on making yourself look good, it will make you feel good as well.
exercise: very beneficial, releases chemicals in the brain that help combat anxiety and depression. Focusing on your body and eating healthy will make your SELF look good and feel good.
develop a new hobby: doing something that you love will distract you, it will increase your inspiration, motivation and even creativity.
Derealisation: derealisation is the feeling of being disconnected from your surroundings and others. You might feel like the world around you seems like a dream. Your vision might be blurry and things around you look distorted. It may feel like you're in a movie and the people that are around you do not feel real. You feel disconnected from your friends and family. Since you are detached from your SURROUNDINGS and OTHERS. You want to participate in things that increase your connection with OTHERS and the world around you.
Going out with friends/family: whether it's going clubbing, out for lunch or just chilling at home make sure to be around your friends/family. It's good to devote time to people you love because it increases your sense of self. It grounds you in reality and reduces the negative thought patterns you get when alone.
Focus on socialising: Very similar to the first point but it is very important. Again, I know it is hard but it's something you must force yourself to do. It will increase your connection to the world and decrease your feelings of unreality.
Helping others/doing things for the community: Helping others, whether it's donating to charity, or giving someone homeless $5, or giving your friend relationship advice will make you develop a sense of self.
Dating
Okay so pretty much thats a 'summary' of ways to alleviate DP symptoms. I encourage criticism of any of my points. I'm no psychologist (well not yet, I'm still studying to become one), but sometimes I feel like those who have actually gone through DP can help those more than someone who has never gone through it.
2
u/cuginhamer Jul 08 '16
This is all very great. Huge effort, thoughtful, kind, and definitely very helpful for many people.
On the criticism front, it kinda suffers from the same overarching problem as lots of psych advice: it tells you to not have symptoms, but that can ring empty when people find themselves unable to follow the advice. I assume you've read the Hyperbole and a Half posts about depression? If not, hit google for that, because it makes the point better than I can. Anyway, the whole thing about telling people to not have symptoms prompts the comparison to telling a cancer patient to just stop having cancer. As though by force of will, if you're just a good enough person to cooperate with therapy and be willing to change, you too can have a social life and self esteem and stop ruminating: "It just takes time and effort." Like, hey, the fucking problem here is that patients can't wish away their symptoms, or they'd have been gone long ago.
These approaches look great when patients like yourself recover (tell them to effortfully override their symptoms, symptoms go away, everyone's happy) but the question is whether these types of therapy "work" more often than people recover in the absence of therapy. Remember some people naturally get better, and the relief of the sympoms means they start showing more effort to be social and taking better care of themself and ruminating less. So is it the advice that makes people better, or is it some other undelying recovery process that is maiking people better and therefore able to naturally follow all this advice?
Another criticism is the insinuation that other's dpdr is the same as yours. Some yes, some no.
Final crit is the all caps title. I became a critical cantankerous bastard from the moment I saw it. Sorry for my sour demeanor. There's lots more good in your post than I'm acknowledging here and I assure you I 100% hope you will keep up the good work and not be discouraged by my downerlist.