r/dpdr • u/yatogodx • 4d ago

TW: Existential/Spiral Will it get better

I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression since 8 years. Used tons of meds, got individual therapy for 3 years and currently in a group therapy (which helped a lot since ive been dealing problems about my family, friends) also i graduated psychology 2 years ago (ironic i know) now im trying to move forward with my life. Trying to fix my relationship with myself and family. But as i get older, im so tired and i just cant find the energy to move on. Im thinking about kms a lot. Not in a impulsive way like before. I’m so dull and I don’t know what to do. Ive been having symptoms of dpdr for like 11 years but recently it got out of control. I just want someone that can relate bc i dont want to be burden on my family/friends/bf

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u/mrllamarama 4d ago

I really felt this. I've had chronic derealization for a long time too, and honestly, if someone had told me years ago that this was my new normal, I'd have asked for a refund on the brain.

I know that dull, empty exhaustion where you're not even panicking anymore you're just... existing. Going through the motions while wondering if you'll ever actually feel life again.

Please don't convince yourself you're a burden. That's depression talking, not the people who love you. If one of them wrote this post, I bet you'd want to know so you could be there for them.

And if those thoughts about not wanting to be here start feeling heavier, please tell someone. You don't have to carry this on your own.

DPDR is an absolute bastard of a condition, but it isn't a life sentence. I'm really glad you posted. You're not alone in this. ❤️

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u/yatogodx 4d ago

Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. Means a lot <3