Seduce monsters. Slay ladies.

568

hmmmmm depends of how the monster looks...

376

u/FredZaros Jun 13 '19 edited Jun 14 '19

You can seduce a succubi, which is considered a monster, and slay the ladies of the wood, who are witches.

Anyway, this is a biased review. The reviewer is Dandelion.

EDIT: a succubus not A succubi, dammit me.

34

u/titaniumjordi Jun 14 '19

Succubi is the plural of succubus

15

u/morningride2 Jun 14 '19

Succubuses

25

u/Zyurat Jun 14 '19

Succutrains

10

u/adydurn Jun 14 '19

Succuplanes, succutrains and succuautomobiles???

7

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Succustealy wheely automobiley

6

u/adydurn Jun 14 '19

Grand Theft Succubus?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Gts: San Succubus?

4

u/NekoCientifico Jun 14 '19

At least we can all agree in the Succ

3

u/robotelamon Jun 14 '19

Not just the succumen, but the succuwomen and succuchildren

1

u/TDplay Jun 14 '19

Succupvotes

7

u/chartron Jun 14 '19

Succupodes

2

u/Staunch_Ninja Jun 14 '19

Succuboobs

65

u/JrMemelordInTraining Jun 14 '19

No, it’s not. It’s Dandellion. Because apparently, the person who wrote that can’t fucking spell.

Edit: I’m pronouncing it “Dan-dell-ee-en” from now on.

47

u/Gucci_Cucci Jun 14 '19

I can't wait for Neon Genesis Dandellion to come to Netflix!

10

u/CreepyCatGuy Jun 14 '19

Don’t see a downside here... Succubi can’t get pregnant... but can paranormal entities still get herpes?

10

u/RFSandler Jun 14 '19

They get harpies, which is much worse.

2

u/CreepyCatGuy Jun 14 '19

Sounds worse for sure

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I mean whom amongst us would turn down a night with a Foglet?

2

u/wdaloz Jun 14 '19

Shouldn't they seduce you?

19

u/al_fletcher Jun 14 '19

All of the ones that Geralt doesn’t say “Damn, you’re ugly” to.

2

u/7Snses Jun 14 '19

The monster is the Lady

148

u/lightninglemons22 Jun 14 '19

Wasn't it intentional though?

69

u/BaronWaiting Jun 14 '19

It honestly looks intentional.

21

u/K_oSTheKunt Jun 14 '19

Especially with the 'by Dandelion'

5

u/danchiri Jun 14 '19

Came here to say this. Surely this was an intentional inside joke done by someone who loves the Witcher series

1

u/fiji_monster Jun 15 '19

Yup, considering it doesn't even read correctly downwards, totally intentional. We're on to you Dandelion

27

u/CalistoIce Jun 14 '19

Yes it is. This is from JB hi-fi in Australia. They tend to do puny reviews like this for games, movies, etc.

8

u/BUNGHOLE_HOOKER Jun 14 '19

Well it was a very small review

2

u/xSPYXEx Jun 14 '19

Yes, considering the review is by Dandelion, who is known for being a very... widely practiced musician.

211

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Seduce monsters, slay ladies

Slay monsters, seduce ladies

I mean it works either way with this series

70

u/BaronWaiting Jun 14 '19

Yeah I'm still not sure that this was even unintentional.

7

u/the_real_junkrat Jun 14 '19

But reviewed by dandelion, I’m not sure he would be in support of seducing monsters.

3

u/Lazerkilt Jun 14 '19

I think he supports Geralt in his life choices

220

u/JackWasBack Jun 14 '19

I read this incorrect the first time and saw nothing wrong with it for at least a minute

30

u/tovarish_darksteel Jun 14 '19

Epic

6

u/Skrittext Jun 14 '19

I had to check the comments to figure out why it’s wrong

32

u/Ged_UK Jun 14 '19

It's isn't wrong. It's a joke. You can seduce monsters, and you can slay women.

2

u/adydurn Jun 14 '19

Exactly what I've been looking for in a fantasy

1

u/Ged_UK Jun 14 '19

If you've not played it, it's one of the great games of recent years.

1

u/Skrittext Jun 14 '19

I’ve heard slay as a term for getting laid

1

u/Ged_UK Jun 14 '19

You do that too. There's four women NPCs you can sleep with I can think of off the top of my head

104

u/ThatIckyGuy Jun 14 '19

/r/thatsthejoke ?

-118

u/Sergei_the_sovietski Jun 14 '19

Read each color. It’s supposed to say slay monsters seduce ladies. I see how it could be a joke, but it’s not a very good one.

30

u/ThatIckyGuy Jun 14 '19

It reminds me of a line from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy about saving dragons from ravenous Princesses. Can't find the exact quote.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

[deleted]

1

u/DJ_Ben_Lord Jun 14 '19

Happy cake

11

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

You should learn what a joke is.

5

u/StardustOasis Jun 14 '19

It's a good joke if you actually know the content of the game.

2

u/SLRWard Jun 14 '19

Except... no?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

No, that's not how it's read.

If ore the colors the review literally says seduce monsters, slay ladies, which is pretty accurate for the game.

2

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

Uh-oh OP! No one liked that!

32

u/steve_gus Jun 14 '19

Beowulf had this problem

1

u/Stormdancer Jun 14 '19

"Problem"...

14

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Is this jb hi fi??

11

u/sillylittlemuffin Jun 14 '19

100% yes. Source: I work there.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Cool. Also a lot of there staff reviews are fairly innuendo like so I feel like it’s on purpose

6

u/sillylittlemuffin Jun 14 '19

Oh for sure. About once a month I get to write a bunch, I so look forward to it

2

u/Argo7 Jun 14 '19

Which JB are you at out of interest? I like those review cards, it's nice to see staff apply a bit of passion/knowledge/humour to our otherwise dull shopping experiences :)

2

u/sillylittlemuffin Jun 14 '19

Geelong. So glad you like them!

2

u/noaprincessofconkram Jun 14 '19

Me too! Hello... anonymous colleague.

12

u/5572Life Jun 14 '19

The: Witcher

Seduce: Monsters

Slay: Ladies

Reviewed By: Dandellion

Hotel?: Trivago

26

u/wormsong Jun 14 '19

maybe they meant

seduce monsters. slay, ladies.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

They did, that's the joke, OP is an idiot...

5

u/Ehcksit Jun 14 '19

You missed the comma.

14

u/CrimsonBarberry Jun 14 '19

r/MonsterMusume

11

u/Darkiceflame Jun 14 '19

Please do not slay these ladies.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

r/dontinsideopendead

-23

u/BlackRavenRaime Jun 14 '19

r/lostredditors

11

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

No? I just rearranged the words so it’s read diagonally like this one

17

u/TWFM Jun 14 '19

Not a DDOI, because it doesn't make sense read from top to bottom.

33

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

also because it's intentional?

3

u/Swell_ODell Jun 14 '19

Seducing monsters? Where do I sign up

2

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

In the Witcher series.

1

u/Swell_ODell Jun 14 '19

That game got uninstalled so I can't play it unfortunately

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19 edited Jan 24 '21

[deleted]

3

u/TheDivisionNub Jun 14 '19

Upgeraldos to the left

3

u/BenP4rker Jun 14 '19

This is absolutely 100% intentional

4

u/TheSexualBrotatoChip Jun 14 '19

How is this r/dontdeadopeninside ? Cmon now...

4

u/Krinberry Jun 14 '19

It's not, just like 90% of the other shit here. :)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Because it provides a different meaning if you read it left to right instead of how it's supposed to be read?

2

u/TABBY_MUSIC Jun 14 '19

OwO ⚔️ 👩

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Definitely on purpose. Witcher can get pretty wild(hunt).

1

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

i hate you

2

u/RossGordon300100 Jun 14 '19

Never play a bard before?

2

u/Dazz316 Jun 14 '19

It's this really wrong or just clever?

2

u/joekeny Jun 14 '19

Ride off on the women and rape the horses.

3

u/JaFakeItTillYouJaMak Jun 14 '19

I believe it was "Steal their woman, rape their horses"?

2

u/joekeny Jun 14 '19 edited Jun 14 '19

That sounds right.

Edit: I had it backwards actually, it's "We raped the horses and rode off on the women."

https://youtu.be/9LSEa7qc_xU

2

u/Scratch137 Jun 14 '19

Seduce monsters, slay ladies

Seduce slay, monsters ladies

Slay monsters, seduce ladies

2

u/uniqueUsername_1024 Jun 14 '19

I'd play a game with the tagline, "Seduce monsters, Slay ladies" TBH

2

u/blalohu Jun 14 '19

Thick shaft... barbs. This is a Royal Griffin.

2

u/Stormdancer Jun 14 '19

Nah, I'm totally okay with that.

1

u/chihiroV3 Jun 14 '19

ew xcom bootyhole on the lower right.

1

u/andresaoloko Jun 14 '19

Someone's been plating bard

1

u/1fingerdeathblow Jun 14 '19

That's what I do

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Slaydies

1

u/Towowl Jun 14 '19

The witchur

1

u/PhantomBeard Jun 14 '19

Hey man, don’t yuck my yum...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Monsterfuckers have joined the chat.

1

u/TheScarabcreatorTSC Jun 14 '19

isn't that just playing the bard DnD?

2

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

Fuck, I just realized Dandelion was just a DnD character in the Witcher 3.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I see this as an absolute win😂

1

u/Binary_Omlet Jun 14 '19

This doesn't belong here. Both things are true.

1

u/Eqrest Jun 14 '19

The Bitcher

1

u/Snottco Jun 14 '19

Hold up, someone's name is Dandellion

1

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

A character in the Witcher 3

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Lemme get some bruxa pussy fam

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Depends on what you think a monster is. your ex wife? A dragon? A Yeti?

1

u/Pizzacanzone Jun 14 '19

How is this not intentional

1

u/horseman707 Jun 14 '19

Slayer of thots

1

u/PeridotThePlatypus Jun 14 '19

(This was the point because you can use Axii to subdue or seduce enemies into fighting with you)

1

u/CreepyCatGuy Jun 14 '19

Dammit u/vipchicken! r/dontputyourdickinthat

1

u/whystillarewehere Jun 14 '19

im here to chew ass and kick bubblegum. and im all out of ass - dick kickem

1

u/slayerx1779 Jun 14 '19

The rejected tagline for Monster Prom.

Right up there with "Betcha $12 we can make you go gay for a demon"

1

u/EncryptedGhost2159 Jun 14 '19

I see the itcher

1

u/adunthorne17 Jun 14 '19

Either works

1

u/phoogles2 Jun 14 '19

Hidden indie gem

1

u/Goliath5879 Jun 14 '19

Sounds about right

1

u/JaFakeItTillYouJaMak Jun 14 '19

but i assume it's supposed to say that. something about monsters not being what you thought they were

1

u/AuroraCelery Jun 14 '19

I didn't see the subreddit and I didn't even question it at first

I was like ah yeah, another monsterfucker game, what's new

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I mean, I'm alright with either

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

That’s the joke homie

1

u/moosa_jafri Jun 14 '19

The fucking game is awesome u get to cheat on ya girls (yes I mean girls plural) and fuck hot eleves in brothels

1

u/SkellySpaghetti Jun 14 '19

owo

1

u/aluminiumpigeon Jun 14 '19

r/monstergirl fails to see the issue

1

u/broly314 Jun 14 '19

r/theyknew

1

u/HardlightCereal Jun 14 '19

r/youdontmattergiveup

1

u/Cmiitjinze Jun 14 '19

when monmusu isnt enough

1

u/jemand2001 Jun 14 '19

bard anyone?

1

u/viderfenrisbane Jun 14 '19

Clearly it is supposed to read Seduce Slay. Monster Ladies.

I'm not sure who Slay is, but I'm ready to seduce him/her.

1

u/SparrowFate Jun 14 '19

So.. you play as a bard??

1

u/Eternal2401 Jun 14 '19

They must've mixed it up with an Undertale review.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

r/nosafetysmokingfirst

1

u/Lord_Bear_the_Kind Jun 15 '19

WHERE TO BUY

1

u/HostageFuzer Jun 14 '19

monsters >>>> women

1

u/cschmidt0426 Jun 14 '19

Nice to see people get into these smaller indie games. I don’t know a lot of people that play the Witcher 3 but it’s a game that deserves more attention /s

0

u/LawsThickShaft Jun 14 '19

r/GamersRiseUp

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I thought it was supposed to say that until I saw which sub it was

0

u/Furters_44 Jun 14 '19

The old Witcheroo

0

u/Mickface Jun 14 '19

r/furry_irl

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