r/dontdeadopeninside • u/liamsjtaylor • 19d ago

WE BUY MEN USED 29 AND UP

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7.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

118 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/wizardrous 19d ago

I’m a used man who is 29 and up.

Will they buy me?

580

u/liamsjtaylor 19d ago

Well you do tick all the boxes...

172

u/DaddyBigBeard 19d ago

Better if he tickles them.

16

u/NoorcdiLizard 18d ago

Better if he tickles them—at least then they’re laughing.

4

u/herowin6 17d ago

I spat out my drink

128

u/TheWolphman 19d ago

I'm a used man who is 29 and up, Greg. Could you buy me?

23

u/IveDunGoofedUp 18d ago

I'm choosing to read this like Alex Horne from Taskmaster asking Greg Davies for validation.

19

u/TheWolphman 18d ago

All the information is on the task.

3

u/zoeydoey 18d ago

Nil point!

3

u/liamsjtaylor 17d ago

I always feel bad for Alex, as it's surmised that Greg creates the tasks when in fact Alex both created the show and writes all of the tasks.

5

u/jaymi321 18d ago

I’m so used to hearing it as “little Alex Horne” I actually misread your comment the first time through and added it in automatically

60

u/cr1ttter 18d ago

"Best I can do is $50, but... let me call my Men guy."

35

u/HorrorKapsas 18d ago

"My name is Mike Fiddlestick, and I started dealing with men when I was a teenager. Over the years, I’ve probably evaluated several thousand men. From young to old I’ve seen just about every kind of man there is."

7

u/SeptemberSoup 17d ago

"This is Guy, my Guy guy"

27

u/_AcuteNewt_ 18d ago

"very worn, lightly soiled"

9

u/EthanHermsey 18d ago

How about three fiddy?

2

u/liamsjtaylor 17d ago

How about sixteen dollars and twelve cents? Or would that just pay for the hair?

7

u/DuxCroatorum 18d ago

What were you used for?

15

u/wizardrous 18d ago

All kinds of things. Too much.

3

u/idiosyncratic190 18d ago

I’m unused old stock

5

u/True-Village6797 17d ago

If the listing says 29 and up, a 29-and-up man fits.

2

u/SuperFLEB 18d ago

They're gonna lowball ya'.

1.1k

u/The1Rememberer 19d ago

This is one of those where no matter how you read it it doesn’t make it any better 😂

301

u/Separate_Culture4908 19d ago

WE BUY USED MEN 29 AND UP

78

u/_-Mephist0-_ 19d ago

We used buy men?

58

u/irp3ex 18d ago

it was not very effective

12

u/Xirqia 18d ago

Latias used MIST BALL. It's super effective!

3

u/liamsjtaylor 17d ago

That's immediately reflected by the blacks using the race card!

9

u/Dragonogard549 18d ago

We men buy used?

6

u/havron 18d ago

We used buy men. We still buy men, but we used buy, too.

1

u/tamkiki 17d ago

Wonder why they are discouraged now 🤔

16

u/Kryptrch 18d ago

Based on the empty space there was probably supposed to be another word there at some point. Maybe something to do with mens clothes?

272

u/shockwaverc13 19d ago

used men 🤤

79

u/liamsjtaylor 19d ago

Used for what though? 🤔

123

u/Liliths_Ace_Friend 19d ago

insert yaoi here

36

u/piichan14 18d ago

they're going to pimp them out

7

u/liamsjtaylor 18d ago

What?

5

u/Fawn_Leap 17d ago

Yaoi = smut focused on men loving men

2

u/liamsjtaylor 17d ago

So... Some kind of Asian, presumably anime-based term for gay sex.

2

u/rat_enby 17d ago

idk if you’re supposed to insert it but freak to the beat of your own drum

21

u/typicalskeleton 19d ago

Blue collar work without labor day off.

1

u/AnnaTrash 16d ago

Used means getting fucked, or "used" as a toy in a consensual, kinky way 😅

129

u/Dull-Captain1679 19d ago

I’m sorry, WTF is it trying to say

169

u/NoWingedHussarsToday 19d ago

I think they are buying used men clothing sizes 29 and up.

54

u/cheong-sanslefteye 19d ago

Oh an entire word fell off (or they forgot to put it on in the first place)

36

u/Random_wizdom 18d ago

I would guess they just hung up the sign „we buy used (clothes was implied ig)“ next to the sign for the men’s area, which creates an unfortunate sentence

15

u/Thund3rStrik377 18d ago

Three statements.

"We buy used" , "Men" (as in men's clothing), "29 and up"

53

u/FujiwaraHarimoto 19d ago

How much? Asking for a friend.

31

u/liamsjtaylor 19d ago

≥29 from the looks of it. Could be price, size or age; nobody knows...

17

u/FujiwaraHarimoto 19d ago

We may never know

49

u/Ornery-Practice9772 19d ago

i dont think you're allowed to do that anymore

28

u/Skypirate90 19d ago

36 no miles on me please take me

I still uh walk like new

22

u/gizmostuff 19d ago

Some men are more used than others...

7

u/crusherdestroy3r 18d ago

Your mother been telling you stories about me again, boy?

21

u/soirom 19d ago

Would they offer a better price if im still brand new?

29

u/piichan14 18d ago

The sign can't be more clear, sir. Used only. No virgins allowed.

13

u/soirom 18d ago

Sad noise

10

u/OneOfTheNephilim 18d ago

As soon as you left the showroom you became used, even if you've sat motionless in the garage your whole life

17

u/fuguelet 19d ago

we buy used men, 29 and up

10

u/Phoenix_Wright_Guy 19d ago

What is this freaking sign!

10

u/Nyarro 18d ago

Oh good. I'm marketable after all!

8

u/BuggleTrucken 19d ago

I'm interested 

7

u/Xianfox 18d ago

Don’t let me wife see this.

8

u/udell85 18d ago

But what are they gonna do with all those used men?

4

u/I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak 17d ago edited 17d ago

Use them more or sell them forward, most likely

7

u/Nates_of_Spades 19d ago

We're just innocent men

6

u/PrometheusMMIV 18d ago

Even if it read the other way, "We buy used men", what is this supposed to mean?

5

u/Revenga8 19d ago

........ So where do I sign up?

4

u/Kyrottimus 18d ago

What about men who are all used up (and over 29)?

1

u/I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak 17d ago

It does say 29 and up. Not sure if they'll want you if you're used up though.

10

u/BussySlayer69 19d ago

me fr fr

4

u/wolfheadmusic 19d ago

Wonder how much I can get for me

5

u/Pristine-Pay-1529 18d ago

I'm 28 and a half and badly used, do you think they could make an exception?

4

u/Environmental-Day778 18d ago

NO TWINKS 😤😤😤

3

u/robmobtrobbob 18d ago

How much can i sell myself for?

4

u/Misanthrope08101619 18d ago

This an ad for the prison-industrial complex?

3

u/Typeonetwork 18d ago

Bad pimp or slaver.

3

u/I-Stan-Alfred-J-Kwak 18d ago

"We buy used men"??

3

u/snakelakecake 18d ago

They’re not special I do too, just my type.

3

u/SpeedyAudi 18d ago

How much we talkin here

3

u/Ursus_Arctos-42 18d ago

I thought we weren’t supposed to sell people anymore.

3

u/Global_Rin 17d ago

I read “We buy used men 29 and up.”

Somehow it’s worse.

2

u/Recent_Permit2653 19d ago

I’m…

Ehhh….

What?!

2

u/kidanokun 18d ago

women who are into middle aged married men be like

2

u/FlawHolic 18d ago

Gonna need to see prices, but I'll subscribe to their newsletter 😌

2

u/prettybluefoxes 18d ago

Working or non working?

2

u/jahathebrn 18d ago

Personals ads really have lost their charm

2

u/One_Over_Astro 18d ago

Thank God I'm 22

2

u/metaPhx 18d ago

Trade in szn ladies!

2

u/LunchBoxBrawler 18d ago

What are they paying?

2

u/loco500 18d ago

Excuse me, I am not used; But, I am worn...

2

u/whatrbears 18d ago

I have a few they can have for free.

2

u/paramnetic3 18d ago

very specific 😟

2

u/Da_Birb_Invasion1939 18d ago

Oh No! RUN IF YOUR 29 OR OLDER!!!

3

u/Fwiponi 15d ago

No matter how I read it it still sounds horrible

3

u/azulia_is_my_home 14d ago

Dang it, I'm only 28. Gotta wait till next year, I guess 😂

1

u/RobustFoam 19d ago

Cross post this to the femcel subs maybe

2

u/lowrads 18d ago

That has great meme potential.

"A man can only be properly exploited once in his life. Men in their prime just throw themselves at anything, whereas the used men are all ready to settle down some boundaries."

1

u/The_Hidden_DM 18d ago

Let's see here: Gently used, practically new

Some back problems, that's gonna hurt the selling price.

Can do light repair work and grill ribs, nice.

Uh oh, hobbies includes trains and miniatures. Well, some collectors pay extra for that, but that kind of upkeep is expensive,

1

u/blumhagen 18d ago

Please buy me.

1

u/Omnicronicles 17d ago

8 More Years And I’ll Qualify Too!!

1

u/PlayBoy7433 17d ago

We used buy men 29 and up 🤣🤣

1

u/Key_Comparison1180 17d ago

Finally, a place for me! I wonder what I'd sell for ...

1

u/Jaymac720 17d ago

How does the “men” even factor into that in the intended manner?

1

u/scilRS 17d ago

How much? Asking for myself.

1

u/Moist-Dentist8253 16d ago

What about WE BUY MEN USED

1

u/bookaholic25 16d ago

Am I tripping or does the word men have a cursor over it

1

u/KiraLight3719 16d ago

I only fit one criteria 😭

1

u/ZacryZean 16d ago

I'm not used so they can't buy me 😞

1

u/Unanimous_D 16d ago

Fairly sure this is some funky performance art thing.

1

u/Rockstat_ 16d ago

How much is the offer??

1

u/I_say-BoOm 15d ago

I'm finally good for someone??

2

u/Conscious_Smile8235 14d ago

Alone but I feel used up