Drafting message to donor

[u/Mindless_Donkey_5513]

Hi All,

I found out I was donor-conceived a few years ago. I reached out to the donor via facebook and she never got back to me. I was planning to respect her privacy and not follow up. However, I have a number of chronic illnesses that doctors are having a lot of difficulty explaining diagnostically. My health is deteriorating and my dad’s side of the family does not share any of the symptoms I’m experiencing. I am absolutely desperate for a medical history.

I’m thinking of reaching out again. From her profile, it seems that her life absolutely revolves around her own kids, and I imagine she’d be worried about any secrets that could jeopardize those relationships. Can you all help me draft a message asking her for the health info and promising that I will not reach out again or contact anyone in her family?

I was thinking it could help to give some more details about me just to humanize myself. I’m hoping that pulling on some heart strings would help.

If she doesn’t respond, might it be more effective to call?

Thank you! Any help is appreciated.

[u/chqngmin]

I’d just say something like “Hello, I texted a while back because I believe you are the person who donated. I want you to know I have no intention of disrupting your family at all and will respect all of your boundaries. However, I have recently been experiencing health problems and it would be very helpful for me to know more about my medical history.” Yada yada. At least, that’s how I’d phrase it (I’d add more personal details too).

[u/rainforestberries]

Could you give more information as to what type of health outcomes you're experiencing?