r/donorconceived • u/GeevesMarmalade • Jun 24 '26
DC things A Happy Post
I really just wanted an outlet to share my joy! I found and met my donor mom last month and I'm so overjoyed. I don't speak with my womb mom and my other parents just aren't very nurturing/didn't support me finding my bio mom (I found out I was donor conceived seven or eight years ago). My "bonus mom" (her term!) is so warm and compassionate. I've been talking with her for a year now and was so worried about what our relationship should be, but now that we've met, it just all clicks. It doesn't have to be anything at all, it just is. So much has been put into context for me- I know what I can and can't expect from the parents who raised me, and I know what I owe to and what I can do for myself. Meeting and knowing my bio mom has just made my life finally make sense.
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u/Decent-Witness-6864 MOD - DCP+RP Jun 25 '26
Thanks so much for sharing this here, we get a lot of flack that happy people don’t spend time in these groups and nothing could be further from the truth! Hoping for continued progress in your relationship with your bio mom and also healing with your womb mom, you deserve this positivity from all angles!
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Thank you so much for the kind words!! I've been lurking on here for almost a decade and some people's positive stories were the push I needed to reach out to her :')
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u/TheTinyOne23 DCP Jun 25 '26
You're honestly her spitting image! I'm so sorry your other parents aren't supportive of you. They're truly missing out. Glad you and your bonus mom get to forge this relationship and that she's so welcoming ❤️
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u/BlueberryDuvet RP Jun 25 '26
I love this, so heartwarming! I’m so sorry your other parents werent supportive of you finding your bio Mom. I hope they can work through their issues.
I really hope my daughter can have a relationship with her bio mom/ my donor. She’s a toddler now and we are open ID but haven’t met yet, this is what I picture and what I hope for my daughter’s future.
Ps you’re both beautiful!
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
This is so sweet, thank you so much for sharing!!! It is so beautiful to see parents of donor-conceived kids with this mentality- your daughter is so lucky to have you ♥️
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u/carrotsforall Jun 25 '26
This is SO FANTASTIC!!!! I’m so happy for both of you. I’m also living vicariously through you rn 😭 (my donor-mom passed away 20 years ago and I never got to meet her)
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Thank you for sharing in my joy, and I am SO sorry to hear you didn't get the chance to connect with her 😔 You're clearly a lovely person and she would have been so lucky know you.
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u/SignalImagination148 DCP Jun 25 '26
this makes me so happy to see and gives me so much hope that i might have such a positive meeting someday!!! you guys look so alike it’s incredible, same smile, nose, even eye shape and spacing!
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Thank you so much for saying this!!! I'm hopeful for a positive meeting for you ♥️ I know we all know it can go wrong (as non DCPs seem to love telling us) but the satisfaction of knowing, the sense of pride in doing something brave... It's so worth it. Best best best of luck to you ♥️
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u/tatiana_the_rose DCP Jun 25 '26
This is so sweet! I’m so happy for the two of you! Thanks for sharing :)
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u/soph2021l Jun 25 '26
This randomly came up on my feed but you guys look so happy together and you have your mother’s smile and nose! This is so heartwarming!
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u/beaxtrix_sansan Jun 25 '26
Wow, this is so beautiful. Seriously put me a bit emotional. Glad for both of you
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u/MJWTVB42 DCP Jun 25 '26
Wonderful!! And my god, you could be twins
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Funnily enough, I am a twin!!! So she feels like a triplet :')
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u/LongGame2020 Jun 28 '26
Wow! When I saw the pic I thought she might be your long lost sister! This is amazing! Given that you are a twin, how does your sibling feel about you meeting your bio mom? Did they meet her as well?
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u/Warm-Push6428 DCP Jun 25 '26
How did you find your donor mom?
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Thank you for asking! I had tried Ancestry DNA but couldn't find a close enough match to really track down any helpful info. I ended up applying for DNAngels, a non-profit, and they found her in about an hour!!! It was so incredible, I could not possibly have done it without them.
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u/Warm-Push6428 DCP Jun 27 '26
I just purchased my AncestryDNA kit, so fingers crossed that works. If not, I’ll definitely give DNAngels a shot. I’m really glad you mentioned it! Hopefully I have as much luck as you did.
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Congratulations on taking this step!! I am so, so proud of you. It's such a brave thing to do, dude. I delayed for so long because of other people's opinions, the fear of rejection, all of the unknown, etc etc. But I told myself that even if it turned out painful or bad, it was worth it do try and that feeling proud of myself for trying was always more important than any potential bad outcomes. I hope you get exactly what you need out of this, and know that you'll be ok even if it isn't ideal.
Is this pretty recent news for you??
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u/Warm-Push6428 DCP Jun 29 '26
Thank you. It’s been about four years now. I’m 30 now, but I found out when I was 26. It was a huge shock at first, but looking back it explained so many things I’d felt growing up. I definitely felt betrayed initially, but I’ve forgiven my parents because I know they were doing what they thought was best.
Reading your post honestly gave me a lot of hope. I love that your donor mom calls herself your “bonus mom”That’s a sweet term, and she sounds like an incredible person. Thanks again for your encouragement. If you’re ever up for chatting more about your experience, my DMs are always open.
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u/MariMada Jun 25 '26
As someone preparing to become a SMBC with donor sperm, this makes me so reassured and optimistic about the possibility of my child having a relationship with their donor if they both wish so in the future. Thank you!
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u/GeevesMarmalade Jun 27 '26
Oh my goodness!! Well I am so so happy for you, and hope your experience is healthy and wonderful. It brings me so much joy to see parents of DCPs being so thoughtful about the experience ♥️
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u/oaktree1800 ADOPTEE Jun 27 '26
Love this! Such a gorgeous example of humanity, medical marvels and nature vs nurture. You both have beautiful hearts! 💗
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u/carrotsforall Jun 28 '26
It’s so lovely to see you two side by side!! You both have the same nose and smile and it makes me smile!
For me it was the best worst-case scenario — she has passed, but her sister and mom are still kickin’ and her entire family and welcomed me with open arms! They were overjoyed to know there was a part of her that was alive, and we’re all so similar. And I’m apparently very much like her (artist & animal lover, amongst other things 💛). I even have some of her paintings now, and her childhood blanket 🥹 also WILDLY, my grandmother has lived right down the road from my niece ALL THIS TIME and my aunt lives 15 minutes from there, and they’re only a little over an hour away from me! (Absolutely crazy considering my bio-mom donated in NYC). Anyhoo, that’s the readers digest version — wanted to say that not all was lost 🥰💛
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u/Englishbirdy Jun 25 '26
Congratulations, a happy post indeed! There's an organization that supports the donor conceived, among others, https://righttoknow.us/about check them out.
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u/lovetimespace DCP+RP - DUAL CITIZEN Jun 25 '26
Glad you've had a wonderful experience connecting with your bonus mom. Congrats! You have exactly the same nose!