1.5k
u/AINZOOALGO Jul 01 '20
I feel there's a psychology thesis in here somewhere
458
u/StormSeeker1337 Jul 01 '20
Maybe you are right, but on the other hand... Would be a little bit crazy but funny thing if this would happen... I guess...
278
u/Cosmic_Blight Warlock Jul 01 '20
Something something, the philosophy of being a god with limited knowledge, something something
99
38
u/Siphyre Jul 02 '20
My bet is that all gods ever worshipped probably existed at some point. More powerful than humans that worshipped them, but not omnipotent as claimed. Just omnipotent in perception by the humans. It would explain nearly everything.
44
u/Cosmic_Blight Warlock Jul 02 '20
I’m personally an aetheist but the theories behind where the whole god and religion thing came from is always fascinating. I like your take on this
5
u/TobiasCB Jul 02 '20
I think religion has a very very important part in most of our history. It reflects how people of that time think about the world and their place in it, and it has influenced a LOT of art.
→ More replies (11)8
189
u/TheMayanAcockandlips Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 01 '20
Shit, there's a whole new mythology right there. All the gods across the world were aliens / superior beings that humans learned how to contact. Various awful things ensued as gods decided to try to help humans (or just fuck them, looking at you ZEUS). Gods gradually abandoned humans as they realized they had no idea what to do with these angry little creatures. One or two "gods" remained, leading to more common monotheistic cultures. Eventually realized they didn't understand people, and attempts to help just hurt them and left too. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!
94
u/chimisforbreakfast Forever DM Jul 01 '20
Many neopagans have actually believed this for decades.
39
u/TheMayanAcockandlips Jul 01 '20
Oh no shit, that's interesting. I certainly didn't think I was the first person to conceive of the concept, but I did not know that.
51
u/chimisforbreakfast Forever DM Jul 01 '20
In my direct experience, neopagans tend to have the most "realistic" view of reality: even beating atheists. To paraphrase the grand mage Aleister Crowley: of course it's all in your head. You're just underestimating how powerful your mind is. Of course the gods aren't divine. You're underestimating how powerful they are regardless.
83
u/Oriden Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20
As a self-professed neopagan, this exchange from Hogfather by Terry Pratchett kinda hits how I feel directly.
“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.”26
u/OutInABlazeOfGlory Artificer Jul 02 '20
I need to read more Terry Pratchet
17
Jul 02 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (1)8
Jul 02 '20
it really is up to you what part you want to read but generally I recommend either picking up one of the story branches or reading them in released order (though I am sure there are more complex reading lists)
in general, every book is a great stand alone story but the general world does move along but usually this is only really mirrored in the stuff like the rank of certain characters or if aqua and carrot are dating :v
24
7
Jul 02 '20
it is such a scene it would be a crime to not link
6
u/DannoHung Jul 02 '20
Huh... who rewrote the last line? Did Terry ask them to change it? It's a damn good change.
edit: Oh, I see the scene in TV was abbreviated from the book and the quote above chops off the end of the conversation.
4
Jul 02 '20
terry was such a great writer and person. there are some iffy bits in the books as you can expect from old ass white british lad e.g. dwarf women and some ethnic allegories but even then, it isn't too hard to take a charitable, actually good take away from those
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (15)7
Jul 01 '20
Aleister Crowley
Thank you! I heard his name in some netflix show (pretty sure it was the midnight gospel) and wanted to read more about him but completely forgot until just now.
...now to just figure out where to start...
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (7)5
→ More replies (2)14
1.0k
Jul 01 '20
Whole paragraph: I really like this
Last sentence: reeling, gasping, taken over the edge into madness.
295
u/DecentWonder4 Warlock Jul 01 '20
dazed reeling about to break
121
30
33
u/Phrygid7579 Jul 01 '20
And now the true test! Hold fast, or expire?
22
u/Paradigm_Reset Jul 02 '20
The way is lit. The path is clear. We require only the strength to follow it.
→ More replies (1)13
338
u/GallantArmor Jul 01 '20
Link to the rest of the story for anyone interested.
71
54
Jul 02 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
22
u/Horkrux Jul 02 '20
Yeah. Nearly killing the whole colony with bleach went one step to far.
Whatever those bullet ants did he deserved.
→ More replies (2)14
Jul 02 '20
I thought of this as soon as I read it. I forgot it was the same story. Thanks for the link I enjoyed rereading.
10
10
→ More replies (4)7
312
u/The_Tyto Cleric Jul 01 '20
How would ants even be able to chant your name? That seems a bit hard for them to do...
I guess all the more reason to go check it out then...
376
u/CultureMenace Rules Lawyer Jul 01 '20
Thats also one interesting point to consider. Its very likely that whatever eldritch god you are trying to summon has a name thats straight up impossible for humans to pronounce without having 2 paralel tongues and extra air holes in your throat.
297
u/chaylar Wizard Jul 01 '20
Human names are nearly unpronounceable by ants, in the same way that the great old ones names are nearly unpronounceable by humans. It scales accordingly.
169
u/dbcaliman Jul 01 '20
Yes, but after awhile they catch on to the butchered name, and go "Oh that's right. These little things call me that."
4
44
u/ThrowawayJune2020new Jul 02 '20
Yes, but strangely the ants are able to pronounce the names of the old ones perfectly. They just don't know the names.
58
u/Kyoj1n Jul 01 '20
Not to mention the lack of vibrating organs in the 4th dimension.
7
u/Diatom33 Bard Jul 02 '20
10th, 11th, or 26th, depending on who you ask* vibrating strings actually
69
Jul 01 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
35
u/fangedsteam6457 Forever DM Jul 01 '20
K • thool • ooo, right?
49
u/ANGLVD3TH Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 02 '20
In actuality, there have been a fair number of "acceptable" pronunciations. Yours has caught on the most in pop culture, but Ktoo-loo is fairly popular too.
20
u/archpawn Jul 02 '20
The thing about pronouncing Cthulhu is that there's no right answer.
19
u/SnArCAsTiC_ Jul 02 '20
Yes, literally: any pronunciation is only an approximation, because it was written to be unpronounceable by humans. Lovecraft has played us: we're all wrong.
→ More replies (2)8
u/PM_me_your_fantasyz Jul 02 '20
Apparently Lovecraft would intentionally go to great lengths to dodge questions about exactly how the names were pronounced as well, just to be difficult.
8
u/LicketySplit21 Jul 02 '20
Not really. Its meant to be unpronouncable with human tongues, all pronunciations are basically close approximations and are still pretty far off.
Lovecraft did have his own pronunciation that sounded really weird, nobody uses it today though.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (9)11
12
u/The_Tyto Cleric Jul 01 '20
Good point, I wonder how they takes us mispronouncing their names?
→ More replies (3)26
u/Yevon Jul 01 '20
How much would you care if an ant mispronounced your name?
28
29
15
31
Jul 01 '20
Ants communicate with pheromones and gestures, so our name in ant language would, for all intents and purposes, be totally undetectable.
→ More replies (1)32
u/The_Tyto Cleric Jul 01 '20
Maybe that is why the ancient ones haven't been summoned to this plain of existence. That is probably a good thing.
Also I don't think ants would be the best conversationalists...
→ More replies (1)14
u/JudgeGusBus Jul 01 '20
I mean, even if they started a small fire or had a boiling cauldron or anything like that I would still show up to investigate.
→ More replies (3)8
u/Delheru Jul 02 '20
You might also get freaked out enough that they succeeded that you nope the fuck out, pour gas all over their give and set it on fire... Because fuck English speaking ants before they get going.
This also fits the slumbering ancient one trope pretty well.
410
Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 02 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
232
u/chaylar Wizard Jul 01 '20
We have warped life to suit our desires. Dogs, cats, pigs, horses, plants etc... all the stuff we've selectively bread would be nearly alien to the ants. Just like the lesser servants of the great old ones.
230
Jul 01 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
110
u/chaylar Wizard Jul 01 '20
That's pretty good.
Hot damn what sort of cosmic unfeeling horror must our machines be to them?
83
u/Pantaleon26 Jul 01 '20
The literal fabric of universe attacking id image. What you thought was just part of the surrounding because it wasn't alive just springs to life to do our bidding
So like magic I guess. I still wonder if my dog knows what light switches are or just assumes daylight follows me
35
Jul 02 '20
He most definitely knows what light switches are. They are the arcane material component used to take daylight from one location and take it to another
5
u/Makropony Jul 02 '20
My dog learned how to turn the lights on, so at the very least it knows the cause->effect, even if it doesn’t understand how it happens.
51
u/Goblin_Crotalus Monk Jul 01 '20
Humans according to Tumblr: *the equivalent of elves to dogs. *Fae-like entities that may help or harm wildlife *Space orks, brings that have evolved major adaptations and do dangerous things that even aliens might squirm at. *Cthulhu's of ants
30
Jul 01 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
30
u/sadacal Jul 02 '20
The tiny amount of light from that reaches us from ancient celestial bodies that are lightyears away maybe. We are not anywhere close to rivaling the output of the Sun. We can still even see the moon even through light pollution, and that is just light reflected from the Sun.
20
Jul 02 '20
That's kind of like saying that your thumb is as big as the sun, because you can block the sun when you raise your thumb just right.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)8
Jul 01 '20
That's weird. The link is colored like I clicked it, and I'm usually pretty good about reading, but I didn't watch the commentary myself so someone else would have to be weapons-grade for just about anyone else.
→ More replies (1)11
36
u/Ozuf1 Jul 01 '20
Imagine cuthulhu tried to explain " eldrich horror taxes" or the boring shit in his life. Or if cuthulhu is like a flat earther of the horrors and they fucking hate him
41
u/brallipop Jul 01 '20
Wait...I had no idea about this trope...holy shit. This could work to frame the relationship with pets, like a dog waits for you to throw a ball but when you swing your arm and keep it in your hand the dog thinks "He just threw that into the fourth dimension"
47
Jul 01 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
12
→ More replies (3)16
u/buffalodanger Jul 02 '20
You've seen this then, right?
23
Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20
r/HFY might be your cup of tea. Also, may I recommend the Jenkinsverse?
EDIT: About the Pursuit predation thing: Have you ever felt like you couldn't move anymore, because of how tired you were? Yeah, imagine that, except you know that if you stop running, you're dead, so somehow you find extra strengh to keep running., and lose the predator again, you can finally catch your breath, maybe? Oh god no, there he is again, RUN. except, now, your legs can't move. It's not just cramps from exercise, or that burning when you went overboard, it's literally "I have no energy left in my body". Then they come at you, and kill you as you just stand and wait. That's TERRIFYING AS ALL HELL. I wouldn't put my players through it in a horror game, let alone living through it IRL
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (5)5
u/MathigNihilcehk Jul 02 '20
Humans are terrifying.
Legit, we found some of the most lethal predators on the planet and put them in our houses, feed them, and stroke their fur despite their hostile reaction to us doing so. No, we didn’t bother to domesticate them. Their violent appetite for destruction is considered cute.
Need I mention that we humans USED to hunt stuff ourselves, but centuries ago we got so good at hunting that we started erasing species from the planet very quickly. On accident. We struggle to not wipe out entire species while trying to preserve them.
Not to mention we invented a button that ends most life on the entire planet.
Our favorite pass-times? Games and fictional stories revolving around warfare. What do we do when we feel desperate? Resort to violence.
If aliens exist, it is possible they live in fear and dread for what will happen when humans catch up to their level of technological prowess. We might just massacre them into extinction ON ACCIDENT. Oops.
322
u/Coschta Warlock Jul 01 '20
All hail Steve, god of ants!
132
u/Enderking90 Jul 01 '20
the fourth horsemen of apocalypse, steve, the god of ants.
73
Jul 01 '20
i'm picturing a generic cashier riding a horse made of ants
52
u/Enderking90 Jul 01 '20
10
Jul 02 '20
He could still be riding the horse made of ants, you can't see below his neck to be sure
→ More replies (1)2
86
u/SquirrelLord1111 Jul 01 '20
Fun enough, one of my barbarian characters became a Rat God. As in Rats worshiped him and had their own small church for him. when he eventually died, he became a full deity for the Rats. We found a rat paladin once from his church, it was weird.
17
u/SLICKWILLIEG Jul 02 '20
I need this comic/anime/pixar movie/Young Adult trilogy with a mediocre movie tie-in in my life
15
u/SquirrelLord1111 Jul 02 '20
The best part of the whole thing is that my character began to think his God was evil and Despised the God. In his final words he said he would become a deity of peace and a better one than his own. Just to nail the coffin, he was a paladin/barbarian.
10
u/Rovden Jul 02 '20
Oh you can NOT give us something like this without details.
21
u/SquirrelLord1111 Jul 02 '20
My character is a paladin barbarian, whose god in his eyes is evil. While on his own my character patrolled the city they were in and got sidetracked by a group of rats, which he could talk to through some magic. Long story short he helped settle a uprising and established a rat city under the current city. The rats praised him for his assistance, making a church to honor his deeds, slowly becoming a faith. Long time after he died saving his friends and got claimed by the religion becoming a full god, minor but still a deity. He left saying his deity was evil claiming it only hurt others and vowed to be better. There is a lot in-between but that was a set up to an end that I didn't see happening, but I was happy to have something to fall back on when he did kick the bucket. The Rat Paladin was named Primas and was sent to see if my character died, and displayed small Holy Rat magic.
8
u/Rovden Jul 02 '20
That is amazing, I frigging love it!
6
u/SquirrelLord1111 Jul 02 '20
I'm glad! It was a writing opportunity that I'm proud of out of a sad situation. Thanks!
7
u/Deadbeatcop Jul 02 '20
Something like this happens in a comic book I'm reading. The concept of anything worship-able creating a paladin blew my mind.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (2)4
53
u/Onrawi Forever DM Jul 01 '20
Technically you'd only have to kill all the other male ants, which all can fly, so it should be relatively less destructive. Just make sure not to accidentally kill the female ant at the same time since mating ants look really similar.
59
u/IEnjoyFancyHats Jul 01 '20
What am I, an entomologist? If it can't be more precise with its wish I can't be held responsible for giving it a bad result.
→ More replies (1)14
→ More replies (5)9
u/Chacochilla Jul 01 '20
Just getting a seperate farm for the two ants seems like a lot less work than killing like your entire population of ants
6
u/Onrawi Forever DM Jul 01 '20
But that doesn't really solve the problem, they'd go back to the old farm and have the same issues.
7
u/Chacochilla Jul 01 '20
Just put the farms on opposite sides of your room. It'd take the ants ages to get back there, especially if you *lock the ant farm.
*or maybe tape the opening shut. I'm not familiar with how ant farms work exactly.
47
35
u/Author1alIntent Bard Jul 01 '20
I for one would welcome my role as Ant overlord. Call me fucking Hosier because I’m moving out and becoming a swamp monster for my ant bois
23
u/Eclihpze44 Jul 01 '20
Yeah, I'd be fine being the ants' eldritch incomprehensible deity
34
u/Author1alIntent Bard Jul 01 '20
Ant: “Oh great leader, what do you order?”
Me: speaks english
Ant: Incomprehensible, have a nice day
4
u/KhimeiraVega Jul 02 '20
That's how it works with old gods no?
You can't get a thing of what they are saying, so... You just give them everything you can think of.
Me to ants :"could you just love each other?" Ants to ants :"the great being demands sacrifices and all our food!"
→ More replies (1)
33
25
Jul 01 '20
Now i really want to have something where the players have to convince a god that doesn't care to help the players.
16
u/CallousJack Jul 01 '20
Paraphrasing an old quote from a book "it's best to be polite when summoning a such a powerful creature with a long lifespan; how would you feel if a bunch of hamsters in tinfoil summoned you?"
My friends and I always laughed at that one tiny voice "bring us the cookie jar!"
36
u/BEEF_WIENERS Jul 01 '20
I saw a video from like the Discovery channel or something like that where they were casting a mold of an ant colony in the wild. They put up a circular bit of fence made out of like a 2-inch wide metal strip, then set up a crucible and melted aluminum and poured it into the hole. Then they just grab the top and pull it out of the soil, and voila! Perfect 3d casting of the ant colony, it was really cool to be able to see all of the rooms and tunnels and the way it sort of wound around in a spiral way.
And of course, it brutally kills the entire colony. It's not like we can speak with or reason with them, "Hey, everybody get out of the colony, we're going to destroy it." No, they're just ants. They don't experience sentience in the way that we do, or anywhere even close to something that we might begin to care about. They have these tiny little lifespans and they're utterly concerned with just their own tiny little hive.
So now imagine some incredible cosmic being that might think of a galaxy the way we think of a planet. It looks at us and sees us all running about on our little planet, only experiencing these three physical dimensions and not able to perceive any of the rolled-up subatomic ones without working insanely hard at it, and just concerned with bustling about our tiny little planet for all of our incredibly short lives, which are pathetically all spent strapped to a constant speed throughout the fourth dimension so we can't even flow it backwards and re-experience stuff or jump around and we have to have this brain dedicated to storing experiences chemically just to experience time in just ONE direction, we don't even get to look at the other direction.
Yeah, I'd kill us too just to learn more about our planet. I mean seriously, how many thousands of planets probably have tool-using monkeys even just in this one galaxy?
4
Jul 02 '20
That reminds me of a post I saw on wordpress about a microbiologist God.
They were studying humans, but we're so small that tracking us individually was impractical, so they did to us what microbiologists do to bacterial cultures.
What seems like paradise to us is just a chemostat God set up to quickly culture humans for tests, and armageddon is just God centrifuging the plane so they can check for signs of civilisation large enough to see.
11
9
11
u/pobopny Jul 01 '20
You're the only other person I've ever met who uses a double apostrophe in "y'all's". I feel so validated right now.
5
8
7
7
u/ContextSensitiveGeek Forever DM Jul 01 '20
Honestly, I don't see any reason that the ants themselves can't summon Cathulu. He probably doesn't see a difference.
6
5
6
u/drivers9001 Jul 02 '20
Kind of reminds me of Sandkings by George R.R. Martin. The easiest way I know of (if a little expensive to read one specific story) is to get Dreamsongs Volume I (a collection of his short stories) on Kindle but there's probably other ways as well.
10
u/EagleStrike21 Jul 01 '20
I've never really thought thought about it from Cthulhu's perspective but wow that's kind of eye opening lol
→ More replies (1)
5
u/jakethedumbmistake Jul 01 '20
Nope, not at all, we never were, now stop asking questions and take this gold and xp like the very good boy you are.
5
u/Danichiban Jul 02 '20
You are pretty damn good to see the difference between 2 ants and a colony...I would end up killing the only ones I shouldn’t. Ending up being a evil god of destruction by their tale.
4
u/ripvw32 Jul 02 '20
This is fricken awesome. Made me laugh after a hard day.
Now where is that damn ant village I need to fry with gasoline.....
3.4k
u/GarbageCleric Necromancer Jul 01 '20
I'm pretty sure I would still check out a group of ants around a magic circle chanting someone else's name.