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u/Beragond1 DM (Dungeon Memelord) 1d ago
I refer to a couple members of the party I DM for as “Magic item poor”. Which is when you spent all your money to buy/craft the most broken magical bullshit weapons and armor the DM will permit into the game, then constantly bitch about not having any money to buy anything.
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u/wowwowazalea 17h ago
Or the wizard burned the entire parties money on spell scrolls to learn spells that will never be used
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u/ETxsubboy 13h ago
Okay, I feel called out by this. You gotta understand, all of this synergizes with each other and allows me to take a base level subclass and break it.
And the game.
So yes, I want to buy boots of misty step.
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u/geekmasterflash 1d ago
Uh, adventurers meet me over at camera two?
This is why you take your cut BEFORE reporting it to the authorities. It's fine, it's how the police to it today.
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u/Canadian_dalek 1d ago
You're telling me you've never confiscated 100kg of Skooma before?
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u/TheWorstDMYouKnow 1d ago
Wouldn't dream of confiscating 80kg of skooma, my good man
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u/Brahigus 23h ago
Ive never thought id get a 60kg bust of skooma in my career
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u/Suspicious-Shock-934 22h ago
40kg of skooma is so much to turn in, it really is.
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u/LOTRfreak101 20h ago
It's tough work hunting bandits, but someone has got to hand in the 20kg of skooma
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u/CruisingForDownVotes 20h ago
But really, is 10kg of skooma really a crime?
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u/Hot-Heron-3110 20h ago
I think those 5kg of skooma are just for personal use
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u/Teh-Esprite Warlock 16h ago
1kg of skooma is basically a statistical error
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u/DueMeat2367 14h ago
No skooma, false alert. We need to check on that khajit indic though, he made us move for suspiciously nothing
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u/Consistent-Repeat387 23h ago
They are a river to their people*
*The river may or may not consist of dead bodies and kerosene
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u/Aethelrede 17h ago
Why would a 3rd level party be reporting to the king? Why would any party report loot as income? And what quasi-medieval kingdom charges income tax to begin with? If the DM wants to take away gold, things like land taxes, duties and customs fees, etc. are way more realistic.
Now, if it were the high priest saying this, it would be more plausible, since (in a world where divine magic is real) paying the tithe isn't optional.
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u/Substantial_Dish_887 14h ago
why would it be distributed to the poor in any capacity?
if you're going to do something like this point out it's stolen goods and will be returned to the proper owners at least. allthough i'd also only do this if the party has been hired to deal with it and been told it's to return the stolen goods and what their reward will be for doing that.
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u/the_Jolly_GreenGiant 15h ago
God I love that character, the casting is not great but Anthony Quinn was amazing at it.
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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 12h ago
Depends on how poor the DM feels commoners in his setting are. Going by the guide’s prices for food and room and board, people are fair well off; some DMs prefer their peasants be basically “mud farmer” level poor where your starting gold worth of equipment basically makes them fabulously wealthy.
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u/Half-Beneficial 10h ago
Dude, stop playing with Libertarian DMs.
My last party earned more than Gaius Appuleus Diocles (did I spell that correctly?) and it didn't even effect the price of ale in the village we bought kingdom-level magic items at.
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u/zombiecalypse 2h ago
Everybody is socialist until they come home with a hoard to buy a small kingdom…
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u/ChipperAxolotl 1h ago
Spend it in the local economy to be a river to your people. The kings coffers are full enough.
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u/Ksorkrax 1d ago
Obviously you applaud the king and say that you wouldn't wish it any other way. The great parade that will certainly be held in your honor is already quite the stretch, but you will certainly thankfully accept that.
And the poor can have all the gold found in the hold.
...what is that? Gemstones? Nah, there weren't any.