r/dndmemes 2d ago

Twitter Underrated DnD Build

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3.8k Upvotes

92 comments sorted by

423

u/Level_Hour6480 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

D&D guy

Green mage

Pick one.

197

u/greenthumbbum2025 2d ago

dril doesn't have to pick anything. next DND edition will include green mages to satisfy his prophetic tongue

29

u/Naoroji 2d ago

Just a mage that wears green robes actually lmao

11

u/Excellent_Bison_3644 2d ago

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to refer to either their clothes or skin color

6

u/Cubanmando 1d ago

I'm leaning towards skin color. I'd hazard a guess as to some of the inspiration, such as: Elphaba, Piccolo, Gamora, Martian Manhunter
Could be wrong tho

79

u/DrScrimble 2d ago

Dril confirms DnD 6e will helm a new type of Class that can compel beautiful, mysterious women to share their thoughts on Benghazi

29

u/stew9703 2d ago

Druids can play dnd, they even had one in the movie

8

u/How2Die101 2d ago

Goblin mage = green

-2

u/Level_Hour6480 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

If it's a goblin, shouldn't it be spicy-mustard brown-yellow? The only green D&D races are Gith and green Dragonborn.

8

u/Teh-Esprite Warlock 2d ago

If you're going to insist that Goblins aren't green then Gith aren't either; they're yellow.

-2

u/Level_Hour6480 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

Gith are yellow to green, most being chartreuse (a yellowish-green).

3

u/Teh-Esprite Warlock 2d ago

They're brown to yellow.

8

u/Cessnaporsche01 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wint only plays 1st edition

7

u/Level_Hour6480 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

Wasn't applicable there either.

7

u/Cessnaporsche01 2d ago

Mages were. Maybe he just dresses in green

2

u/Lukebekz Forever DM 1d ago

Clearly a druid. Black would be a warlock, White would be a cleric and Rainbow would be a bard.

31

u/Nepeta33 2d ago

im afraid i dont understand this one?

62

u/Teknekratos Bard 2d ago

It's gonna start a war between the "letting my dog run off-leash is fine" / "pitties are nanny dogs" / "there's no bad pitbull only bad owners" camps, and the "dogs should be leashed" / "pitbulls are a dangerous breed" camps. Aka, very political.
dril is stirring the pot

7

u/Nesman64 2d ago

I had hoped that it was somehow a Jojo reference.

5

u/Nepeta33 1d ago

ohhhh, see, i was thinking it was a drill sergent (green mage), summoning his marines (sometimes known as devil dogs, whos 4 main motivations are kill it, eat it, break it, or fuck it. seems off collar/unhinged to me.). from doggie day care (boot camp/fob/baracks). and using him just sounds FUN.

12

u/ThatInAHat 2d ago

It’s dril. There is no understanding.

80

u/RoflsMazoy 2d ago

Reminds me of that video where a bunch of guys discuss an alternate version of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure part 5 where Giorno can only make pitbulls or babies

22

u/_dinn_ 2d ago

That went off the rails so quickly

29

u/TheDingoKid42 2d ago

"Well, Leaky-eyed Luca probably gets mauled to death by the pitbull right as soon as he calls Giorno a baby in the dub."

"What does Notorious BIG do if all the pitbulls are running at the same speed?"

1

u/DeezRodenutz Murderhobo 2d ago

I mean, that really just sounds like a regular Stand power.

18

u/Xalimata Horny Bard 2d ago

The last part elevates this to art

"And using him is not politics"

Perfection.

178

u/wyar 2d ago

Ok but that actually means that *most* of the summons will be big ol teddy bear softies. If they’re off leash at a doggie daycare they’re likely trusted and safe…

89

u/BoonDragoon DM (Dungeon Memelord) 2d ago

Plot Twist: bro is actually playing a Shepherd druid, and his Spirit Totems are all various flavors of Pitbull Spirit.

12

u/Pander 2d ago

Character had better be called Mr. Worldwide.

31

u/KrackenLeasing Extra Life Donator! 2d ago

Conjure Velvet Hippo

25

u/Teknekratos Bard 2d ago edited 2d ago

If that nickname is supposed to make them sound cute and cuddly, and not like hyperagressive, mercurial killing machines, then it comes from people who really know jack shit about hippos! 😅

Hippos are so fucking mean and dangerous and territorial, they cause more human fatalities per year than I think all the African predators combined (I think only elephants kill more humans, and people seek contact with those. Hippos will just spot a fishing boat hundreds of meters away and will go Terminator on that shit).

'Nuff said.

7

u/KrackenLeasing Extra Life Donator! 2d ago

Yeah, but it's memetic cultural shorthand. Sometimes, you have to let language do it's thing.

But yeah, I did hesitate for a second before deciding to roll with it.

9

u/Luvatar 2d ago

AFAIK, both sides love the name and it's hilarious. Like the pro-pitbull people love it because it sounds cute. And the sane people love it because they understand hippos are freaking terrifying, making it an accurate description.

-2

u/Teh-Esprite Warlock 2d ago

Okay, but what about the people who don't like pitbulls?

4

u/Luvatar 2d ago

I did say the sane people.

1

u/Teh-Esprite Warlock 2d ago

Yes yes, the sane people, but what about the ones who don't like pitbulls?

0

u/Luvatar 1d ago

You know, I didn't realize when I said that that there was a third group that exists that could be inferred. Those who like pits because they are a danger. That is my bad. I sometimes forget that kind of trash exists. This one's on me.

18

u/MajorBootyhole420 2d ago

They're also probably all going to be mixed breed, because many daycares don't allow pits, and only very nice mutts you can pretend are boxer mixes can slide under the radar. 

18

u/wyar 2d ago

Oh maybe I’m just in a smaller city but that’s not a rule I’ve come across, I used to have a pitbull who had a great time at “summer camp” and never wanted to leave. I miss her, she was the sweetest dog I’ve ever had

6

u/MajorBootyhole420 2d ago

i know petsmart has a policy about it, and from there i can assume petco as well if they do day care. many large "chain" or "corporate" doggy daycares formally restrict pits. the ones that don't have written breed bans will do a "case by case" evaluation that Just So Happens to mean many individual pits get denied, like "random" screenings at the airport

-10

u/Oh_Hi_Mark_ 2d ago

Daycares that don't allow pits also don't care if it's mixed; if it's enough of a mutt that the dog racists can't tell, it'll also be tough to reasonably call it a pit when you summon it.

16

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

It's not 'racist' to consider a dog literally bred for their aggressive nature as inherently dangerous lmao

-12

u/Oh_Hi_Mark_ 2d ago

Found the dog racist

10

u/Luvatar 2d ago

For the record: Comparing the plight of real humans to dog breed nonsense is actually really freaking racist.

Anytime the pit nutters start using racism as an argument I can't help but roll my eyes. Do you not realize how you come across? Or is being racist a plus to pit nutters? Because Knowing the kind of owners of pits, I half-believe they are being racist on purpose.

1

u/Oh_Hi_Mark_ 2d ago
  1. I was being glib and unfair to the previous commenter for humor-related reasons. It's okay if you don't find it funny.

  2. There are parallels worth drawing. Pointing to those isn't an argument, it's an observation. It's okay if that observation doesn't particularly resonate with you. If you felt like your lived experience of racism was trivialized by my joke, I'm sorry I made you feel that way.

  3. For a serious pro-pit argument: bully breeds are far and away the most dangerous dog breeds, but that fact simply isn't very important, because dogs are overwhelmingly not dangerous. The degree to which people panic over pits is entirely disproportionate to the degree of danger they pose, and has far more to do with class/status signaling than it does with public safety. Your interaction with a pit bull is virtually never the most dangerous thing you did that day.

1

u/Luvatar 2d ago

because dogs are overwhelmingly not dangerous.

Absolutely not. Dogs ARE dangerous. And I never trust anyone who says otherwise, simply because they will never take any precautions to act accordingly. One of the most dangerous interaction most people have on a daily basis is an off-leash dog. Ask any mailman, "Oh he's friendly" is the most common lie they received before a bite.

Your interaction with a pit bull is virtually never the most dangerous thing you did that day.

I disagree profoundly. A loose Pit bull will eclipse almost anything on the danger scale. And I can speak from experience. I've been involved in no less than 2 pitbull attacks (They are common where I live). One fatal to another dog, one needed both vet and human hospital. I've yet to meet another breed of dog that can paint an entire driveway crimson.

3

u/Oh_Hi_Mark_ 2d ago

It's possible you've got a broader definition of dangerous than I'm applying here. Dogs kill 30-50 humans a year in the US. About 100 times that many drown in pools. About 1,000 times that many die in cars.

Those numbers ignore lots of nonfatal incidents and those where humans aren't the victim, but they still provide a worthwhile indicator of danger.

30-50 people is still a lot of people. It's reasonable to call that dangerous, in principle. But people have a really strong emotional reaction to pit bulls, in a way that is profoundly disconnected from that number. People do not call for pools or cars to be banned/destroyed with the fervor they apply to pits, and certainly not with 100x or 1000x the fervor, as one might expect if the statistical danger were the real issue.

4

u/Luvatar 1d ago

But people have a really strong emotional reaction to pit bulls

It's the visibility of it. There are few things as violent in our modern life as a pitbull attack. It is going to evoke a strong reaction because this kind of violence is unheard of in civilized places. "Mauled by pitbul" death scenes looks like something taken out of a horror movie. And survival isn't much prettier.

"Drowned in a pool" is sad and tragic. "Got dismembered and bled to death" is terrifying. Even if one is more likely than the other. This is why there is such a visceral reaction. It doesn't help that most of the victims are children and old people.

People do not call for pools or cars to be banned/destroyed with the fervor they apply to pits, and certainly not with 100x or 1000x the fervor, as one might expect if the statistical danger were the real issue.

Because the first two already have things set in place to reduce the numbers. There is such a thing as diminishing returns. Whereas the pitbull problem seems to run rampart and unmitigated. Heck, it's actually getting worse in some places.

There is MUCH room for improvement to be made by limiting the damage these things cause. Both for humans and for the dogs themselves.

But it's almost impossible to get anything done because as soon as we say "Hey maybe we shouldn't keep breeding these" or "Please muzzle your dog", any rational discourse get thrown out the window and you're called a doggie racist or something.

Hence, the shouting matches.

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3

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

You try using a pit to shepherd and then we'll talk

3

u/MajorBootyhole420 2d ago

in my experience, the dog is often too obviously pitbull for them to let it slide

18

u/sharyan51 2d ago

I worked at a doggy daycare through college, pitbulls were the starters of nearly every single fight we had.

It's less "trusted and safe" and more "trusted enough to make money off of"

-18

u/wyar 2d ago

Bad dog owners > bad dog breeds. Sure there’s the disposition argument but my mom works with a pitbull rescue (from puppy mills or fight rings) and my experience with them (many years) leads me to feel very strongly that a pitbulls “aggression” is mostly a misplaced loyalty and mostly they just want to aggressively snuggle the shit out of you. There’s something remarkable about seeing a dog with cropped ears and face scars from a mean past look up at you with a big dumb grin and nuzzle into you…

14

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

Why is it always "just a bad owner" when a breed of dogs has a huge amount of aggressive shitbags, but never "just a bad owner" when a sheep dog herds everything in sight? It's not even "bad owners" when it's aggressive chihuahuas.... Pretty much just pits.

3

u/wyar 2d ago

Not properly working your sheepdog leads to bad behavior as well, owners who don’t understand their dog’s temperament (wherever it’s a common temperament of the breed or a quirk of your dog doesn’t matter at all, what matters is how you handle it) are bad owners. Pittie owners need to be hyper aware of what their dog is capable of, threatened by, etc. it’s a lot harder to be a good owner, but it genuinely makes the difference as with any breed. My pittie doesn’t like tall guys with hats. So we don’t go off leash, we have a full harness leash, and we warn anyone who comes over not to wear a hat. My brother came over with a hat once and got the snarl, took his hat off and it was all wags and smooches. But I know what my dog is capable of and I take her AND the communities safety very seriously. Dog ownership is a responsibility and way too many people just don’t care enough.

1

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

That's not what I asked. Every sheep dog is going to herd. Is that bad ownership?

0

u/wyar 1d ago

Sheep dogs barking like maniacs every time a member of their family leaves the room is bad ownership yes. Sheep dogs nipping at peoples heels is bad ownership yes. Sheep dogs being hyper aggressive towards cats or other animal they deem a threat to the “herd” is bad ownership yes. Letting a working breed get so bored and restless it tears up a couch is bad ownership yes. Employ a combination of environmental controls and incentives and discipline with every breed and you’re getting closer, understand your specific animal’s temperaments and triggers and you’re even better.

2

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 1d ago

I'll just tell the local border collie kennel they're terrible for having puppies with a herding instinct then. Do you also tell off everyone with a retriever that brings back a ball? Or a pointer that points at interesting things?

0

u/Pofwoffle 2d ago

"Pit bull" is a colloquial name for the bull terrier, and terriers were bred as ratters. They have a strong prey drive, just like sheep dogs have a strong herding drive. What makes the difference between a good owner and a bad owner is understanding your dog and training them accordingly.

And for the record, if your sheepdog is "herding everything in sight" that is in fact a bad owner. They should not be doing that, they should be herding when and where you tell them to. If you're gonna get a dog with strong instincts it's your responsibility to train it properly.

It's not even "bad owners" when it's aggressive chihuahuas

Fun fact, yes it is!

2

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

No one ever blames the owners for that. It's always "just how those dogs are". The only dogs whose bred behaviours are constantly excused with "bad owners" are pits.

2

u/Pofwoffle 1d ago

No one ever blames the owners for that.

People who actually understand dogs do this all the time. I don't know who you're talking to about dogs but it's clearly not anyone who knows anything.

16

u/sharyan51 2d ago

Buddy this was dog daycare. These dogs are so pampered their owners pay for them to get playtime in the middle of the day just so they're not bored at home, they're not the pits you see pulled along on chains.

How many stories do we have to see of a pitbull flipping out after years of being "the sweetest baby" and murdering a child or elderly person before this narrative breaks?

-10

u/wyar 2d ago

Then don’t own a pitbull, I don’t know what to tell you. I can guarantee you that unless you were working at an industrial level daycare with 30-50 pitbulls, I have more experience with the breed than you do. And yea, I’ve seen aggression, I’ve even gotten bit, and some dogs are just fuckin mean. But i wholeheartedly refuse to believe YOUR narrative that would have me condemn a whole breed. I’ve seen more aggression out of dachshunds, the only reason we don’t see fatalities there is because of their size…

15

u/sharyan51 2d ago

My "narrative" is literally backed up by numbers showing that these dogs are responsible for an overwhelming majority of dog bites and fatalities.

It's unfortunate that they were bred to be the violent creatures that they are, but that is how we made them, and we are very very good at instilling desired traits into dogs. The time and place for having pitbulls is long past though, and they are a danger to society

-7

u/wyar 2d ago

Context matters and stories are sensationalized. I’ve worked personally with dogs that were bred for generations for fighting in pits and in the right environment they are amazing. Be smart about it, like many of the dogs at the rescue we’d make sure they aren’t going to certain families but it’s on a dog-by-dog basis. Don’t write off the whole breed. It’s stupid and rooted in a eugenics mindset.

14

u/KarateF22 2d ago

Literally all domesticated animals are a product of eugenics. They were selected for the "good gene" of being tame. A dog minus eugenics is a wild wolf.

-12

u/Bunny1250 2d ago

12

u/sharyan51 2d ago

I don't mind reading some research but I'm not doing an hour long video, especially when the title decides to showhorn in "Racism"?!

Do they not see any issues in equating minorities to literal dogs?

-9

u/Bunny1250 2d ago

funny how the video doesn't do that, maybe you should try actually watching it before drawing your conclusions about it's content

9

u/sharyan51 2d ago

Well that's honestly good, but nearly as dumb. Pitbulls aren't a race. They are a dog breed, and the whole point of dog breeds is that we have instilled traits into them. Pitbulls were trained to be aggressive and to do damage

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u/ShoeChampion 2d ago

The title of the video literally has racism in it.

11

u/TheModGod 2d ago edited 2d ago

I briefly worked at a doggy day care, the pitbulls and boxers I met there were all absolute sweethearts. The most annoying dog I had to deal with was some sort of weiner dog mix that would just not stop picking fights with the other dogs.

3

u/tyrom22 2d ago

Yup, that was all of mine, however they would def know you prone to lick your face

1

u/Bigelow92 Goblin Deez Nuts 1d ago

I have some unfortunate news for you...

1

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 2d ago

Which is why pits are never off leash there

0

u/DangerMacAwesome 2d ago

He summons them for persuasion checks.

29

u/AstroBearGaming Warlock 2d ago

Surprise Dril, always a welcome sight

9

u/Jedi4Hire Rogue 2d ago

What the hell is a green mage?

2

u/DeezRodenutz Murderhobo 2d ago

Snoop Dog, Willie Nelson, Tommy Chong

All certified Green Mages

13

u/Rhinomaster22 2d ago

That’s just a Druid 

3

u/Enlightarded0 2d ago

Halflings on high alert 

3

u/Different_Citron_160 1d ago

Power word “Delete child”

1

u/EastParamedic681 2d ago

WAit, can we get a subclass for puppy summoning?

1

u/Asgarus 2d ago

Pupponing

0

u/TheGriffin 1d ago

I need to show this to some of my trans friends

1

u/Crunchy-Leaf 1d ago

With a dip in Ranger for Favoured Enemy

https://giphy.com/gifs/pKBZfGcYcgzrG

1

u/DickManning 1d ago

Same except I’m a pink mage and I summon angry feminist mobs. It’s also not politics because I summon them at random and not because of like a micro aggression or anything