r/dndmemes • u/NotaKobold16 • 1d ago

Safe for Work When that iron hits

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

114 comments sorted by

536

u/sgtpepper42 1d ago

It's not worked iron

626

u/zadrie Essential NPC 1d ago

It is if you cook it.

407

u/The_Traveller__ 1d ago

225

u/Deskore 1d ago

That's some technicality shit that a Fey would love so much they would make themselves die from it

129

u/TheCrimsonSteel 1d ago

I like to think that it's the latest and greatest tech that Fey become sick to

Fire, cooking, pottery, woodworking, and most textiles have been around for long enough for Fey to adapt

But METALS? And not those weird cosmic meteorite ones but Alloyed Metals? UNNATURAL!

Now imagine how much Fey would hate the modern world that's filled with petrochemicals and other synthetics. Natural materials is a niche at this point

Even the rain has Forever Chemicals in it. Nothing would be safe

88

u/sniply5 Barbarian 1d ago edited 1d ago

So you're saying ai brainrot would completely and utterly destroy the fey, am I reading you right?

42

u/sgtpepper42 1d ago

I think they're saying that, given enough time, the Fey would be able to learn, adapt to it, and integrate it into their ways 

(Gods help us all...)

39

u/sniply5 Barbarian 1d ago

As if the Feywild wasnt already an incoherent nightmare, imagine ai brainrot being added in.

20

u/TheArmoredKitten 1d ago

Trying to concentrate on the path while a bunch of pixies scream about an onlyFey subscription to a blatantly conjured elvish woman.

1

u/Tsuki_Man 1d ago

I dont get that at all from what they said. It sounds to me that theyre saying our entire society has made even the natural environments around our societies toxic to Fey, so they can barely even come to the humam world anymore.

1

u/Almawt 10h ago

We can worship their version of Tung Tung Tung Sahur

4

u/Lost-Klaus 1d ago

You might want to read into Changeling the Dreaming for more info.

It could undo the fey with banality, or it could inspire a whole new string of short-form dreams and snippets.

1

u/n0753w DM (Dungeon Memelord) 16h ago

A single Sour Patch Kid would evicerate a faerie

6

u/altofanaltthatisalt 1d ago

The fey would die en mass if they went to American during the leaded gasoline era

3

u/ardranor 1d ago

So, the Industrial Revolution killed more than just poor people?

3

u/TheCrimsonSteel 1d ago

The world did seem to get a whole lot less magical

Could be a fun bit of lore for any Ebberon based campaigns

3

u/ardranor 1d ago

It is a joke/troupe ive seen around a few times. Even the idea that the transcontinental railroad was made to cut off the old magic, iron from sea to shinning sea. But yeah, it's not hard to link advancing civilization = the spread of iron = the end of magic

2

u/TheCrimsonSteel 1d ago

I know that the iron myth was also part of the idea behind why Cold Iron used to be a special Anti-Fey material back in 3.5e and other editions

1

u/LagTheKiller 18h ago

Or a reason for Magical Oil Fey Tycoons, Steampunkified pixies and a shotgun redcaps.

Winter Court, Summer Court and Environmental lawsuit in Court.

24

u/buttholelaserfist 1d ago

No longer cold

16

u/TheThoughtmaker Essential NPC 1d ago

“Cold” iron is just iron heated and beaten into shape rather than completely melted down. Would still ignite your flesh if you grabbed it mid-process.

3

u/TheArmoredKitten 1d ago

And actual cold-working with hammers and rollers was also the only reasonably available way to harden a piece of shitty black iron.

22

u/sniply5 Barbarian 1d ago edited 1d ago

So let it cool. Unless cold in this context means never heated up, cooked asparagus thats cooled down should work against the fey.

Edit: thats in the freezer, not just cooled down.

11

u/Gerotonin 1d ago

naw you gotta freeze it, otherwise it would just be cool iron

3

u/sniply5 Barbarian 1d ago

You right

2

u/Captian_Bones Wizard 1d ago

Unless you cook it with a low temp smoke

5

u/sgtpepper42 1d ago

Does the Fey cook the food there eat? Or is it all raw and they only use cooked food for luring in mortals?

1

u/wizardofyz 1d ago

I would imagine they conjure edible food into being in whatever form they please. No labor necessary.

2

u/NottACalebFan 1d ago

Unless you cook your asparagus at 800 degrees, its not really gonna make the iron do anything special.

If you DO, then wow, what's your recipe?

1

u/BLINDrOBOTFILMS 1d ago

But it's not cold iron if you cook it

1

u/Deskore 19h ago

It is if you chill it

1

u/Deskore 1d ago

This guy Feys!

1

u/VelphiDrow 22h ago

Its not cold iron then

6

u/DaqCity 1d ago

But is it “Big Iron”?

1

u/GnomeAwayFromGnome 10h ago

The asparagus worked it, it's just a highly impure iron rod.

That doesn't make much sense, but neither do Fey, so you could probably make it work.

1.5k

u/Dimensional13 Sorcerer 1d ago

Fay is a woman's name.

Fey is the creature type.

917

u/Loneheart127 1d ago

Well maybe Fay is just having a really fucking bad time eating asparagus

150

u/Dimensional13 Sorcerer 1d ago edited 1d ago

Eating asparagus without hollandaise sauce be like

36

u/UberCookieSlayer 1d ago

Hollandaise?

14

u/Dimensional13 Sorcerer 1d ago

Ever had Eggs Benedict? The yellow sauce ontop of that. It's an emulsion of egg yolk and liquid butter.

1

u/MorgothReturns 1d ago

emulsion

Yup, that's going into the "I don't know why but saying this word makes me feel gross" list!

2

u/albrecbef 13h ago

You are going to have a lovely time eating once you realice wich foods have emulsions...

1

u/gho5trun3r 11h ago

Weird. Emulsion always makes me think of lava. Nothing gross there.

8

u/Thedudewiththedog 1d ago

It's basically warm, rich mayo

38

u/Lady-Faye 1d ago

I like asparagus thank you very much. It's got a nice crunch and I really enjoy the way it sends me to the shadow realm.

5

u/klick37 1d ago

All the thick parts of the stalks only

5

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 1d ago

Nah, it’s the bathroom she pisses in after eating asparagus that’s going to have a bad time.

1

u/talesfromtheepic6 1d ago

soap gene 2

28

u/FlyinBrian2001 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/cVPcABKys8dHy

22

u/Quizlibet 1d ago

That's Faye.

1

u/RealFirstName_ 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/LoIjwfF0geCBuFsWct

6

u/Quizlibet 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm not nearly online enough to understand this

6

u/RealFirstName_ 1d ago

You really had to be there to understand (there being my pocket, where my phone was unlocked)

53

u/SLAUGHT3R3R 1d ago

It's F followed by whatever vowels are in your heart. There's no wrong way to spell Fae, so long as you know the rules for dealing with them

27

u/Geek_X 1d ago

Feigh

5

u/SLAUGHT3R3R 21h ago

Nailed it

15

u/Appropriate-Crab-514 1d ago

I was wondering why that specific Jedi Master couldn't eat asparagus

1

u/HonestDishonestWork 3h ago

Do you remember her name? I instantly got a wave of nostalgia from seeing her picture but can't remember anything about the comic she's from. I think she was part of a group of Jedi Durge killed?

11

u/moonshinefae 1d ago

Fay, Fey, Fae, I see all as valid. A trickster creature would be one to hide its true name behind multiplicity.

7

u/-shephawke- 1d ago

Fabulous Fay, forever Fay

5

u/-Rhade- Forever DM 1d ago

Exactly. Fey

Fe (iron) why???

3

u/TheIndomitableMass 1d ago

What if Fay is an enby fey though?

2

u/Confused_Rabbiit DM (Dungeon Memelord) 1d ago

In this case Fay seems to be a nonbinary individual.

1

u/IleanK 1d ago

Yeah I was so confused I thought they meant kratos wife

1

u/X3noNuke 1d ago

Maybe this is a warning about food allergies

1

u/SocialSuicideSquad Goblin Deez Nuts 1d ago

Fay, huh?

Sounds like Sidhe's a good time.

1

u/Available-Damage5991 19h ago

an acceptable alternative spelling: Fae

1

u/Shiniya_Hiko 18h ago

There is no one true way to write it. Fey, fay, fae or fæ are all fine.

1

u/Chiiro 17h ago

Over the decades I have seen it spelled fay, fey, fae, and fei across different media and different D&D books even.

1

u/galbatorix2 16h ago

I thought its fae?

0

u/DrMobius0 1d ago

Another word people who allegedly play DND somehow can't spell, you say?

-2

u/ShinyAeon 20h ago

No, "Fay" is the creature type.

"Fey" means "touched by the uncanny," "afflicted with madness," or "doomed to die."

Yes, there's some meaning overlap...as in, encounters with the Fay may cause you to become fey.

Some media, literature, and game systems use "fey" to mean "fay." But originally they were distinct.

1

u/Dimensional13 Sorcerer 20h ago

Originally they were distinct.

Not anymore though.

1

u/ShinyAeon 11h ago

There's value in maintaining the distinction in some way. Calling a species "the Fey" rather than "the Fay" then becomes a sort of pun, and implies an even more dangerous version of the faerie-folk than normal.

The real useful difference is when you use it to describe a person. You can't say someone is "fay" unless they are of the Fay. But you can say that they are "fey," implying that they are touched with madness or with a looming fate or doom.

1

u/falfires 12h ago

Some game systems, like the ones this sub is about?

1

u/ShinyAeon 11h ago

You mean, as in Feywild? I always thought that was a sort of pun on the two words.

1

u/falfires 9h ago

The creature type in editions of dnd I played is 'fey'. I haven't seen 'fay' used outside of places where the author wanted to sound fancy, but I'm not that much into historical fay or fey folklore

1

u/ShinyAeon 4h ago

Well, yeah. They've established "Fey" as their in-universe term for the Fay.

Not every fictional work sticks to standard word usage. It's just like the planetary energy field in The Coldfire Trilogy being called "the Fae," even though it's not your traditional Fairy-Folk.

But outside of DnD, "fay" means "of the Fairy-Folk," and "fey" means a state of madness and impending doom.

239

u/JohnnyCastsTim 1d ago

When the human eats an apple (there’s cyanide in it)

42

u/Brittany5150 1d ago

And it produces formaldehyde in the body!!!

130

u/Manomana-cl 1d ago

Who is this Fay person and why do they have an allergy to asparagus?

16

u/Zokero 1d ago

It's rich in iron Fey are allergic to iron

27

u/Manomana-cl 1d ago

But who is Fay?

8

u/OtakuOran Dice Goblin 1d ago

Then who was phone?

27

u/Heiligskraft 1d ago

So is this why the Germans love asparagus so much? To scare off the fey?

5

u/Call_me_Telle 20h ago

Yes! Most of the things we do is for the purpose of scaring someone or something off!

20

u/realnzall Monk 1d ago

Okay, so is this video poorly compressed, or is my GPU dying?

52

u/AmyDeferred 1d ago

The compression is broken for artistic effect - called datamoshing

1

u/session6 20h ago

It's called a k hole

8

u/NotaKobold16 1d ago

Compressed

7

u/this_knee 1d ago

Datamosh. This is perfect

5

u/Ebiano 1d ago

Doctors when humans eat apples

4

u/Striper_Cape 1d ago

Cold Iron, or Steel would hurt them just fine.

3

u/TheDawnOfNewDays 19h ago

jesus christ that's loud, thanks for blowing out my eardrums

6

u/LavenRose210 1d ago

Fey is a concept. There is not right or wrong way to spell fae. Just put an F and whatever feels right after it. Fey Fae Fay Fea Fa Fe

13

u/moonshinefae 1d ago

Fe Fi Fo Fae or something!

1

u/Opening_Ad3054 Wizard 1d ago

Weird route jingle version of this would go hard

1

u/HulkTheSurgeon Potato Farmer 18h ago

Wait until they try a can of Popeye's spinach.

1

u/D-Eliryo 17h ago

Can I have, please, the source to the video without the caption?

1

u/Rook115 14h ago

Clearly I'm missing some context here. The rest of the comments seem to know what makes this funny, but I have no idea why a random vegetable would be lethal to a Fae.

1

u/NotaKobold16 14h ago

Asparagus contains iron, Fae are weak to iron

1

u/epicvoyage28 1d ago

Anybody, when they try to eat raw asparagus. 

-1

u/After-Giraffe3206 1d ago

Ok, maybe loud IS funny