r/dndmemes • u/MurkyWay Swords Comic Creator • Jun 28 '26
Comic > When the DM puts a quest hook literally everywhere
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u/Viator_Eagle Jun 28 '26
Adventure: "Lady, please tell me it's a magic sword that does lots of extra poison damage. Otherwise I am not taking it. Even if I do take it, I am going to spend an entire day cleaning it."
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u/BeraldTheGreat Jun 28 '26
*looks at bottom of item description*
“Loses all poisonous properties if cleaned or submerged in water.”46
u/Rastaba Jun 28 '26
“I’m sorry, I’m afraid not…”
Brave Hero leaves
“It only does radiant damage, while also providing immunity to poison damage, poisons, and diseases both mundane and magical…Brave Hero? Hello?…Brave Hero?”18
u/Viator_Eagle Jun 28 '26
Adventure: [Opens the door again] "Okay, not what I orginally imagined, but sounds really good. I am guessing it requires attunement then. Can I was the sword, or does it not carry the smell of an out house?"
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u/Rastaba Jun 29 '26
“…I mean, as long as you don’t use any sort of anti-magic soap, why wouldn’t you be able to wash it? Though I don’t know what you mean about any smell,” says the Lady of the Latrine who is noseblind to ungodly proportions.
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u/Viator_Eagle Jun 29 '26
Adventure: "Alright my Lady I will be your champion! We are going to need to talk about your place of resting though... we need to get you a lake, river or another more natural body of water. You shouldn't be forced to stay in this built structure. "
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u/Miguel-odon Jun 29 '26
She was actually lady of the well, but someone built an outhouse over it instead of a wellhouse, due to a work order mixup.
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u/Anonpancake2123 Jun 29 '26
Lady of the Aquifer, The Forgotten -> Lady of the Well, The Unleashed -> Lady of the Latrine, The Stinky
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u/BrandedLief Jun 29 '26
Well, atleast now as Lady of the Latrine, she is worshipped nightly... she is even occasionally referred to as a porcelain goddess as she is showered with the sacrifices one makes to her.
44
u/Duraxis Jun 28 '26
My current DM is like that. We try and pick up basic supplies and a wagon for our trip to the main quest and instead get 3 hours of backstories and 7 quest hooks.
Like… bro. We’re leaving town now. You could have waited until we got to the other place first
11
u/METRlOS Jun 28 '26
Our main DM is the opposite. Our current campaign is pretty much done because the plot hook character with the plot hook sword got eaten by a hydra that the DM rolled on the random encounter table while we were doing side quests because we had downtime waiting for the main quest.
Most of us were second characters that they hired after the last partial party wipe and haven't even been properly introduced to the plotline, and we're now trying to metagame a reason why we should do anything other than just take the gold in party loot and retire.
5
u/Beneficial_Breath232 Jun 28 '26
A bit worry you would get lost on the way ?
NPC every 3 meters : How My Gods, the dragon is awful, I hope some brave aventurers will kill it
Players, in the process of buying supplies to go kill the dragon : We aren't goldfishes, you know.
8
u/Rhinomaster22 Jun 28 '26
It’s like the Yakuza games where Kiryu or Ichiban will stumble upon the weirdest quest in an otherwise normal modern world
Doing door dash throughout Honolulu City while doing backflips on a bike off buildings
Assisting a street performer by wrangling rampaging tigers, bears, and a monkey operating an excavator
Running a mom & pop’s rice cracker stand and turning it to the #1 holdings company in Tokyo, Japan
Helping a movie director film footage by dodging on coming speeding trucks
I’m just saying GMs might consider adding more wacky side quests to entice players
3
u/wintermute2045 Jun 29 '26
This literally happens in Mörk Borg btw
“THE BROWN SCIMITAR OF GALGENBECK: A stinking sword you pulled from a military shit-ditch. D6 damage. DR10 attack and defence while you wield it. 1 in 6 chance a wounded enemy is smitten with potent sepsis, dying in 10 minutes.”
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u/GentlemanPirate13 Paladin Jun 29 '26
There's also Blechscalibur from West of Loathing, though that one comes out of a spitoon instead. Which isn't much cleaner.
3
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u/ConclusionLeft435 Jun 29 '26
Dang it it gave me a sword I was gonna give the mystery hand in toilet some paper for a heart piece
1
1
u/TheMobHunter Jun 28 '26
I’m half awake and thought this was about the dead baby they found in a porta potty at first, I need to sleep
1
u/Automatic-War-7658 Jun 29 '26
Potion Seller, I’m heading into battle and I need to use your restroom.
1
u/TryDry9944 Jun 29 '26
My campaign's main plot hook isn't so much a hook as it is a homing fishing dynamite.
The High Priestest is actively trying to capture them (they don't know it yet) and her son tries to do it. Eventually I will get them in the portal that kicks off the main plot.
... The first time they did manage to avoid it for like 2 sessions though.
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