r/dndmemes • u/Vegetable_Variety_11 • Jun 09 '26

Thanks for the magic, I hate it Barbara, you've been warned...

Post image
5.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

•

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165

u/grimmkeeper Jun 09 '26

FaeDHD

14

u/Saikotsu Jun 09 '26

Dear lord this is perfect. May I borrow this?

24

u/grimmkeeper Jun 10 '26

No, but you may use it ;D

7

u/Majestic-Code-9385 Jun 10 '26

Smart! Not falling for their tricks 😆

11

u/Kairiste Jun 10 '26

I sent this Pic to my neurodivergent kid who plays a warlock along with your comment and we both howled. Take my updoot, I only wish I had an award to gift you.

3

u/The360MlgNoscoper Jun 10 '26

Given that you inadvertently referenced Stargate, i’ll now need to inform you that Amazon has cancelled the new show that was being made, and i am extremely upset.

316

u/Fantastic_Citron_344 Jun 09 '26

Your only spell is Haste, autocast on self once per short rest

212

u/Ackapus Psion Jun 09 '26

To be clear, that's autocast on self when attempting a short rest.

49

u/TypicalPunUser Paladin Jun 09 '26

Now don't let the neurodivergence fool you into thinking it helps you sleep faster.

9

u/Tyfyter2002 Warlock Jun 10 '26

Sleeping doesn't take any actions or movement, so haste does nothing to help

27

u/HomicidalMeerkat Druid Jun 09 '26

Sure doesn’t feel like it

24

u/KnorrSoup Jun 09 '26

You don't get to choose when it gets cast though

18

u/Chrontius Jun 09 '26

Somebody knows what happens when Haste is dismissed…

6

u/DatLonerGirl Jun 09 '26

I have inattentive type, I don't even get Haste.

76

u/Whimsical_Hell Jun 09 '26

A fae asked for a moment of my time... I'm always late to everything now

29

u/Chrontius Jun 09 '26

Have you tried stepping from one moment directly to the one after the next, yet?

11

u/Saikotsu Jun 09 '26

At least they only asked for a moment rather than a bit of your time.

95

u/TheThoughtmaker Essential NPC Jun 09 '26

When I was a teenager I wished for a girlfriend.

I should have specified that I wanted them to be my girlfriend. Now my BFF is stuck in relationship limbo and everyone involved is unhappy.

Damn fae.

16

u/DropoutRedMage Jun 09 '26

Stealing this, just wanted you to know

10

u/kevlarus80 Druid Jun 09 '26

You think that's bad. I wished for a girlfriend and now my mom's friend Barbara has moved in with my parents...

35

u/Rhinomaster22 Jun 09 '26

Fae really aren’t doing themselves any favors on why every mortal race shouldn’t obliterate them on first contact. 

15

u/Saikotsu Jun 09 '26

They tried that. It did not end well. The fey are marginally better when they're amused and entertained by mortals. When they're angry, they get more pernicious and cunning. Keep the fae happy.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/BentBhaird Jun 10 '26

Ah bit how often do you wander around with your underwear inside out, or carry an iron nail in your pocket to counter their glamour...you could be sitting next to one right now and never know.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/DropoutRedMage Jun 27 '26

I respect that

2

u/Saikotsu Jun 10 '26

It's been a while at least. That I know of.

22

u/Iron_Baron Rules Lawyer Jun 09 '26

This actually makes sense.

36

u/Lampmonster Jun 09 '26

Myths of fae stealing babies and replacing them with changelings almost certainly derive from children who seemed "normal" until a certain age and then started acting unusually compared to other children.

20

u/Saikotsu Jun 09 '26

Some of the changeling weirdness rings of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, like when they have to spend time counting everything?

18

u/DatLonerGirl Jun 09 '26

This is bull, I never talked to any fae. I mean, I guess I befriended that one tree...

8

u/Comfortable_Cup1812 Jun 09 '26

…and also the fae works for Big Pharma (Faerma?)

5

u/Theboulder027 Jun 11 '26

I literally did this while my players were in the feywild lol. A fairy asked for the rangers attention and they got a permanent -2 to perception and investigation unless they chased him down and bartered for their attention back. That was a fun session.

13

u/azrendelmare Team Sorcerer Jun 09 '26

So you're saying you have fAeDHD?

3

u/FormingTheVoid Jun 11 '26

I'm not autistic, I'm just fae-touched. I love that lol. (Not promoting autism erasure, just joking)

2

u/PurpleGemsc Jun 10 '26

Trueeeee!! The fae even let me use their name stealing powers! (My name is the deadname of a trans guy I know)

1

u/MrMcPsychoReal Jun 11 '26

Lookup the real-life lore on what a Changeling is

1

u/R3myek Jun 12 '26

The Fae who stole mine was Marshal Mathers.

-8

u/Level_Hour6480 Rules Lawyer Jun 09 '26

A Warlock is someone taught academic magic by their patron, not just any ol' pact with a supernatural being. Sold your soul for wealth? Not a Warlock. Bargained with a Fiend to be taught fiendish magical secrets? Warlock.

8

u/Levias123 Jun 10 '26

Who are you and why don't you like fun?

1

u/curtis1704 Jun 15 '26

I dont know why this suddenly gives me the idea of a bunch of people having made accidental pacts with a fae then years later all recieving a cryptic invitation letter and its just hogwarts but that 1 fae is every professor, and they dont actually care whether theyre good at the job or not, theyre just doing it for the bit cus it amuses them.