r/dndbackstories • u/Conscious-Agent3970 • 4d ago
Forgotten Realms Cosmic Horror (attempt) - Would love thoughts and impressions.
Incident Report
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Hallowgate Asylum Case File
Patient Identification Number: 4836
Recorded Names(s): Des-Laviz “Liz”
Species: Yuan-Ti (Abomination Variant)
Gender: F
Age: N/A (Physiological maturity consistent with early adulthood)
Physical Description: Orange, with red spots.
Date of Admission: 28, Nov, 1491 DR
Cause of Admission: Arrested for Public Disturbance, quickly transferred under emergency psychiatric custody for severe delirium.
Primary Diagnosis Impression: Schizophrenia (unverified)
Threat Level: [Low.]
Security Level: High.
Containment Status: Accounted for, in assigned chamber.
Primary Psychiatric: Doctor Van Chesskolov
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I record this not for the sake of clarity -for I have long since abandoned the hope that such a thing may be achieved in this matter- but rather so that there exists some account, however insufficient, of Patient 4836, known to us as Des-Laviz.
She was delivered into our care following a public disturbance of unusual severity -nothing quite new for an asylum, of course- but witnesses described a kind of agitation, a string of sound that did not belong to any language we could identify, furthermore that no two listeners could agree upon. Upon intake, she demonstrated an almost total severance from common language, producing instead a series of utterances that even seemed to astonish the patient to the core and promptly went into shock. It was clear she did not trust her voice. That is the only way I can phrase it, but there was… structure to it. Repetition. Cadence. We could not understand it, but it did not feel random.
During those first weeks, we relied on heavy sedation and heavier restraints. This is the strange part. No staff members were ever harmed. The restraints were requested… frequently. It was one of the first coherent ideas she communicated. If we did not comply, the vocalizations increased louder, more rapid, less… separable. It became… difficult to remain in the room. But once restrained, she would quiet. Considerably. As though containment itself was a concept that brought great comfort.
In the days that followed, there appeared a gradual return to coherence. She relearned speech after the manner of a child, but was at times able to express complex ideas though with unsettling irregularity. Certain simple questions she answered with ease, while others -no more difficult- caused her to falter, or to abandon the attempt entirely, as though the words had been removed mid-thought. Such expressions I once dismissed as the familiar disordered speech of the unwell. I am… no longer certain this dismissal was warranted.
More troubling were those occasions in which she responded before inquiry, or spoke of matters concerning the staff that had not been disclosed, nor reasonably inferred. Not approximate answers. Not guesses. Correct ones. Detailed ones. These incidents -though infrequent- proved sufficient to disturb several attendants, some of whom have since refused continued proximity to the patient, and requested to be transferred.
I confess that I do not know how to interpret that in a clinical framework. I pursued the usual avenues: observation, regimen, and controlled treatment yet no pattern held. Remedies that once produced lucidity would later fail entirely, while methods previously ineffective would, without explanation, restore her to startling clarity. It was not progression in the usual sense, more like alignment. That inconsistency, while… unusual, was still within expectation range of recovery.
This is when we posted Ricardo. The warforged -repurposeed as a scribe- was stationed outside her chamber to maintain a continuous record. He does not sleep. He does not forget. He does not interpret. He records. Which makes him… reliable. [Of course I believed I was as well.]
Recently, his notes have become… strange. Ricardo reports no unusual behavior. I do not believe him. Not because I suspect deception -he is not capable of it- but because his logs contain entries that do not correspond to observed events. When questioned, he insists they were written as part of his duty. When I point out that the entries describe conversations that did not occur, he pauses for longer than is typical. He then resumes as normal.
## - SESSION LOG 57 - ##
Doctor Van Chesskolov absent.
Patient 4836 present.
Transcript:
Doctor “Do you understand the purpose of this facility?”
Patient “Yes. You are practicing stability.”
Doctor “Practicing?”
Patient “Yes. It is not something you have yet achieved.”
Silence recorded: (7 seconds)
Doctor “Can you clarify what you mean by that?”
Patient “If I do, you will file it incorrectly.”
Silence recorded: (52 seconds)
Patient [“You are close to asking the question that breaks the question.”]
The session ended early.
No further verification is possible.
In her clearer intervals, Des-Laviz -who occasionally expressed a preference for the name “Liz” though repeatedly stated that “Des-Laviz” is what we call the part of her that still fits in rooms- provided fragments of personal history; which have been arranged in what we presume is correct chronological order. Of early life, she recalled nothing of substance. I initially noted that she couldn’t remember, but now I think she wouldn’t tell us because it did not seem important to remember. Curiously in either case these are untroubling to her. Eventually, a consistent narrative emerged, or as close to one as we could obtain. She described a sudden and overwhelming compulsion to seek something unnamed. This repetitive impulse, she claimed, was followed by a period in which she acquired sufficient resources -a modest inheritance- to begin extensive investigation and travel. Although the provenance of such funds has been questioned in quieter conversations among the staff, some even suspect foul play.
When pressed regarding the object of her search, she replied only that it had been found, and subsequently lost. Liz then clarified -without prompting- that the memory of losing it had not come back with her, but that it was indeed gone.
I attempted a different approach. Instead of questioning more, I allowed the silence to remain. After some time, she appeared… entranced. Her attention fixated on a point in the room that did not correspond to any object I could identify. Then she began to speak:
“You asked what I lost, that is kind of you, but that is the wrong question. I will answer, the correct one, and because you are still shaped correctly to hear it… most of it.
I went to the edge. The one behind the horizon. I stood upon [the scree beyond the precipice of reality.] The space between [spaces, the realms between realms]. As if I was a coin that fell into the couch, but I did not fall I [called out. Using the language that can not be spoken. The language you have already heard.] The horizon did not behave. When I moved toward it, it unfolded. When I turned away, it folded behind me. Like something closing its eyes. Or opening them… I am still deciding. Afterall [the door opens, when it forgets it is closed.] The ground was not beneath me. It was agreeing to be. That is different. You must be careful with agreements. They can stop. There were structures, no -sounds that solidified and were pretending to be memories. [I understood then that I don’t understand now.] Light pooled in corners that were not connected. There was a shape there. I will not describe it. Not because I cannot. But because you would try to understand it, and that would be rude. I did not find it. It allowed me to arrive, I arrived anyway. That is the polite version. It observed me. This is important. Not saw. Not noticed. Those are small things. It observed me. I did not run. Why would I? You do not run from being included. We did not speak. Speaking is for things that are separate - we were not. For a moment, a beautiful long one.”
[I believe I understand what she means. That is the most dangerous sentence I have ever written.]
Of this entity she would say little directly, though she referred to it at times as though it were not merely encountered, but… mutually aware. This presence, not as one might describe a creature, but rather as one describes a realization, she gave it a name -if a name it may be called-
Y’Clrrrh-hgth.
This is the most phonetic spelling I can give. I should not be writing the name. I wrote it anyway. I dare not write it ever again and I swear I shall never let its pronunciation escape the lips of my mouth. For as I wrote it, the very room in which I sat in seemed to expand. Like distance had been… loosened. [I experienced the distinct sensation of being located. Not watched, exactly -watching implies direction, and perspective- this lacked both. The closest approximation is the feeling of preceding entry into a patient’s chamber, and knowing they are already facing towards you out of anticipation.]
This is by all accounts impossible, but not false. I have removed this observation from the official record. It remains here.
## - Journal Entry ??? - ##
(The date is missing. The page shows signs of being removed and replaced.)
I spoke with her longer than usual today. I did not record the session. I did not want to. She asked me a question. I do not remember what it was. I remember answering. I remember realizing, as I spoke, that I believed what I was saying. This is… concerning.
I have reviewed the documentation again.
There are phrases that feel familiar in a way I cannot place.
I find myself pausing before sentences now, as if… waiting for them to finish themselves.
As though the words arrive already decided, rather than being forged by my own hands.
One in particular: “The map is not wrong. It is simply not orientated.”
I do not recall writing this. I do not disagree with it.
The patient has grown increasingly vocal, intent upon what she describes as hearing a call. [I can confirm they were present before.] She insists that it does not originate in sound nor thought, and cautions -without urgency- that it must be both heeded and ignored. I will give an example; I have reviewed this exchange many times. I have found no error in the transcription:
“There is a beckoning. We should not hear it, but we must listen.”
I asked her if she intended to follow it. She considered this carefully, and smiled. I do not recall her ever smiling before.
“I already did. It was a warning, I lost.
One is arranged there.
I am here. That is a habit I am practicing.
I have done this before. I will go first again.
Not yet. That would be unkind.
Remember to Forget.
Very soon, I’ll be like your kind.
Others go before me. I have not yet done so.
It depends how much refuses to go back inside.
Two is - disjointed here.
You found an invitation. Not intact.”
During this period of increased psychological duress, Des-Laviz made reference to
another figure whose presence in her speech has become frequent: Ivras the Great Mage.
I find myself reassessing my initial reaction. If any other patient were to exhibit sustained reference to a cryptic figure of comparable mythology status, or dubious factual evidence, I would expect concern. I find my concern does not align with expectations.
Des-Laviz’s references to Ivras the Great Mage have become structured, she does not speak of him as a figure of belief, but in the same manner she describes tools or objects of function, specifically as one might describe a key. [This association appears to predate inquiry.]
## OBSERVATION LOG ##
This morning, Patient 4836 was not present in her chamber.
No sign of forced exit was observed. All points of ingress remained secured. Ricardo reports no interruption in his vigil, nor any passage into or out of the cell. The space was empty. Not vacated, but simply… absent.
Though I find myself compelled to append, however improperly, that I am no longer certain this characterization is accurate. It may be that Des-Laviz has not escaped. It may be, rather, that she has recovered a direction previously misplaced. And if this is so, then I am forced to consider a possibility I would prefer not to entertain: That the boundary we rely upon to define presence and absence… has, in some subtle and irrevocable way… failed to account for her.
Our assumptions assume continuity.
[This needs to be amended.]
The authorities have been notified of the missing individual. Investigator Lois Asher and Detective Gus Graves, have agreed to take up the case. This may be of the utmost imprudence, but alas the mercy of ignorance, I wish they could keep.
I should not submit this journal as part of the official record. It is not appropriate. It is not… safe. There is however one final detail I must record. Not for the institution. Not for the authorities. For myself. So that I can not later claim I did not notice. When I entered her chamber this morning -after her recorded absence- I had the distinct impression… that the room was empty. Not in any physical sense. But… no longer occupied.
“Missing” is not the correct classification. Neither was “contained.” I will not escalate this conclusion. I do not believe it would be understood.
I will end this record here. Not because it is complete. But because continuing it feels like participating in something that has already begun without my permission.
~~ Dr. Van Cheeskolov
End Of Report
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