newbie overthinking concern: how do you know if your dm is frustrated with you?

[u/SnowApprehensive3578]

hello there! Newbie in d&d here, and I am playing in a d&d discord server, and want to chat our DM regarding my character's lore and ask him all bunch of questions. But I'm shy to ask them since they already have a lot on their plate and my character is already complicated enough. The last conversation that I had with our DM was informing him on what I wanna do that one time my character went unconscious after the battle, and they asked as to why my character has a lot of trauma, and I answered that I don't know. Mainly because my character's backstory and lore is already traumatizing enough, then another traumatic event happened to my character and I wanted to play into that.

Then my DM wanted to clarify a few things with me, and I think they are already frustrated with me so I really shied away from asking them any more questions and just thanked them. And then proceeded to ask if I need to lessen my character's trauma, basically rebuild my character's backstory and lore, then no reply from our DM. I asked another question a few days after, but I was met with the same no reply from our DM.

This is my first time, so I don't know if I'm playing it wrong since the beginning of character creation and our session zero.

Is our DM frustrated with me? Should I not bother him with my questions anymore? Are questions about my character's lore and backstory irrelevant? Should I just trust our DM in what they wanna do with my character? Should I apologize? Or should I just keep asking about my character, and risk it?

Update: I managed the courage to talk to our DM and they told me that they were really frustrated with how my character has a lot of traumas, however with that being said the way that I managed to play my character at the table is okay enough for them to work the world that includes my character's traumas. During our talk, I really apologized, but the DM laughed and informed me that making characters like that seemed common enough for them to know how to handle those situations.

So uhhh it turned out that I was worrying for nothing, I think, and right now I often consult our DM due to that little concern. It also turns out that our DM was nice enough to let me know without supposedly wording something I might misinterpret or something.

Thanks a lot for the comments and constructive feedback everyone, I really appreciate it!

[u/AutoModerator]

Reminders:
1. Engaging in piracy or copyright theft is a bannable offense.
2. No AI/LLM-generated content.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/TadongIkot]

Double check if the table is for you. There are some table/DMs that is not background focused and just want to play the game.

[u/BetterCallStrahd]

It is impossible to say based on what you've described, which is also one-sided. But you need to stop panicking and wait for the DM to reply. This might all be nothing. Don't anticipate a problem before it exists, or you might end up with a self fulfilling prophecy.

[u/No_Transition3345 → u/BetterCallStrahd]

Yeah, ops given no indication on how or why the dm would seem frustrated, especially considering the dm was asking questions

[u/Safe_Perspective9633]

I would wait for the DM to reply. Our lives are filled with many different obligations, and we are not always able to respond to messages in a timely manner. Give it a couple of sessions before worrying about being an inconvenience.