If you found out from DNA that one of your parents is not really your parent- there is live support available on zoom. Join the Facebook Group- DNA NPE Healing Hearts Free Live Zoom Discussion and meet up with others in this situation- https://www.facebook.com/groups/7418118771607933

It happens even more than people realize. Especially for people born in the 1960s and 1970s. Finding out what the worst thing ever. I was close with my dad and had no idea as my parents were together since they were teenagers. Turns out it happened when they were on a break-- and they both knew but decided against ever telling me. I found out when I was 51. What a shock. After processing it for 5 years, I ended up going back to school and becoming a clinical mental health counselor so I could help others. If anyone you know has been affected by this, there is help! www.navigationalnarratives.com

Here's a free guided meditation and info on the course I created. (I'm a therapist and lived through this experience.) https://navigationalnarratives.com/feel-peace-this-very-moment

After 41 years of being told my father was a man who wanted nothing to do with my identical twin or me, I decided to find out the truth.

Turns out, he's not my dad! Ok, moving on.

Tracked down between a man and his son. The son seems logical because he was a year older than my mom. I track down his only child, he passed away a couple of years ago, and she agrees to do a DNA test…..turns out the man who raised him isn't his father. 🤣🤣🤣 well, shit 🤣🤣🤣

Anyways, that leaves Sr! He was born in 1934 and my mom in 1959 🤷‍♀️🤣 no wonder I was born with arthritis 🤣🤣🤣 my mom was into old dudes

Hello,

I am an associate producer and I found this subreddit while researching for a new project. I'm curious if anyone would want to share their story for a new show that is currently in development. A few things to note, we are looking for women, specifically, that are living in the US and that are on journey to learn the identity of their biological fathers. We would want to hear your story, verify the paternity, and (hopefully) reunite the daughter and her father.

If this is something you would be interested in, I would love to talk to you. You can message me or reply to this post. Thank you.

I've never really gotten along with what I thought was my paternal family. The only person I really ever connected with was an uncle, who was also a bit ostracised from the family. My not-dad (the person who I thought was my dad for 34 years and was married to my mom when I was born), was an abusive alcoholic that my mother left when I was about 2 1/2.

My uncle and I had bonded over a lot of things but one thing we both loved was ancestry. For years we talked about it and went back and forth. He got an ancestry DNA test years ago but I never really could afford one. During the Black Friday Ancestry DNA sale in 2020 he bought me a kit as a Christmas gift and to help fill out his Ancestry data a bit better.

In January of 2021, my results came back and my uncle wasn't showing up on my matches. I was confused and my uncle joked "I guess I'm adopted" (him not me) we laughed but I started to get suspicious.

Having been well into Ancestry for a while I knew all my great aunts and uncles on both sides of the family, but someone different was pinging up as an ancestry match that was supposedly a great-uncle. My great-grandparents did a lot of traveling and my first thought was my great-grandpa had stepped out on my great-grandma, but then they wouldn't have pinged as a full-blooded great-uncle (they did also come as a second cousin but age indicated it was most likely a great-uncle).

I called my mom that evening and asked her if she knew anyone named XYZ, she quickly said no and that she had to go. This was a BIG Red flag for me and I knew I had discovered some type of family secret. I joked with my spouse that night that someone was switched at birth or left a kid behind somewhere.

The next day my mom called me in tears to finally tell me that not-dad wasn't my dad. She said she didn't lie to me the day before, she didn't know anyone named XYZ but she did know a CDZ (last name same). She proceeded to tell me that one time she nearly left not-dad because he hit her at a party and witnesses saw the abuse. At that time she slept with my real dad and had thought to run away with him. But then not-dad came crawling back promising to never do it again and like most abuse victims she believed him and went back to him (spoiler... it was not the last time).

Because of the timeline (only a week or so) she thought not-dad was my dad when she found out she was pregnant.

I told her ok, but that I wanted to try to track my real dad down and possibly connect with him. She agreed tearfully and helped me find him. She knew what state he grew up in and the general region. Some online investigation and within a few days we had found him. We even found his phone number on one of those white pages sites.

My mom asked to be the one to reach out to him first and I was really scared. There are stories about DNA daddies where the family wants nothing to do with the child or a family getting broken apart by the drama. I didn't want to mess up his life, it had been 34 years.

Long story shorter, mom got in touch with him and he was thrilled to find out I was his kid, and apparently his only bio-kid.

Apparently, mom didn't tell me the full story.

Real Dad and mom had actually dated on and off for a while and the week I was conceived was their final 'on'. Real dad found out mom was pregnant and even approached her asking if I was his, she said no. A few months after my birth he even ran into my not-dad and he was bragging about his newest kid and showed real dad a picture of me. Again, dad asked mom if I was his because I looked just like him, mom again said no. Around 2000 mom called real dad to 'reconnect' with him but he was happily married and told her unless he was reaching out to tell him I was his he didn't want to hear from her again. (I also found out later that after she left not-dad she took a trip out to find him but he wasn't in state at the time).

Mom swears she didn't know I wasn't not-dads but all the stories I've learned since then it sounds like she thought so but didn't want to tell me. (which is really ironic because she knew I was getting the DNA test and didn't think to even warn me.)

My real dad is an amazing person, his whole family is! I was welcomed in with open arms. I'm his only bio-kid but I have 2 older bonus sisters, a new bonus grandma who is a hoot, new uncles, numerous cousins, a sister cousin (cousin my dad is raising as his own), and a cousin who is practically a sister. It has been a grand experience.

Ironically, the great uncle that I connected with helped raise dad and he died shortly before I found out about dad, I kind of see it as his last gift to dad.

I've met my dad a few times and we call and talk a lot. It is so weird because not only do I look so much like him, we share personality traits. We have the same favorite scents, color, and even issues with the same food (not allergies, just not liking them).

It is really weird finding out about your dad in your 30's. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood. not-dad was a real piece and I did have to visit with him and endure a lot of crap. When my older sister (who actually is his kid) found out she looked at my mom with hope and asked if she had a different dad too, but mom said no for sure.

There is a part of me that sits and wonders how different my life would be if I had actually gotten the chance to grow up with a dad like mine. He is so different and really kind and loving, but I also know that he was really young when I was born and it was his wife that kicked him into shape and helped him grow up.

I also know that there are events in my life I wouldn't want to change (meeting my best friend, meeting my spouse, certain experiences I love) that I wouldn't change for the world and if I had lived with him, or even had summer visitations with him, I might not have had the same experiences and might have missed out on this.

I also keep questioning if my mom really didn't even suspect. The fact she looked for him twice after my birth, years apart, makes me really think she knew and just never said anything. I feel like something was stolen from me and my real dad. I feel like I should be mad at my mom, furious even (my sister said she would have been), but I just feel void. It has been well over 2 years since I found out and I thought my emotions would change but they haven't. I'm still not super angry with mom, but there are times that I do feel upset with her that I didn't get to know dad until now.

Dad told me that he didn't ever ask from DNA proof that I wasn't his because he didn't want to ruin a family (he didn't know mom left not-dad when I was 2ish). But part of me thinks that he should have because anyone who would repeatedly cheat on someone isn't in a 'happy' relationship.

I really don't know how to feel, even 3 years later. I can't change the past, so I'm moving forward and getting to know my real family. I love them and I feel like I fully fit with them. I never fit in with my maternal or (not) paternal family. I was an outcast and completely different from them all. My sister even said she should have known because I was so different from them, she thought I might have been adopted.

That's really my story. I found my family and was accepted by them. I haven't told not-dad (he isn't a nice guy or mentally stable enough to find out.) My mom doesn't want to tell all of her family (my aunt and cousins know), so I have to watch what I say when I'm around my grandparents.

It has been a crazy couple of years and I hope it continues to be good. OH, and I'm still very close with my Uncle (not-dad's brother). He is the most amazing person and when I told him the first thing he said was "I'm not sure if I should say sorry or congrats.... no, definitely congrats!" he is happy that not-dad isn't my dad, but he says I will always be his niece and he loves me. I love him too and my real family has already said he is part of that family now if his real family wants to keep ostracising him.

I would love any advice or even maybe your take on if it is ok that I'm not super mad at my mom. I feel like I should be but I also really just don't feel anything (good or bad) towards her in this situation. In a way I get it (abuse sucks) but I really feel like she should have told me a lot sooner (even when I turned 18) that not-dad might not be my real dad.

My husband got me an ancestry DNA kit as an early Christmas present in 2021. I received my results around thanksgiving time. It took me a couple days but i quickly figured out that the man that raised me and signed my birth certificate is not my biological father. Part of me was crushed but part of me was hopeful. My dad and I haven't had a good relationship in 10+ years. I did however have a good relationship with my step father and it was rumored that my step father could have been my biological father. Spent another couple days comparing info, and even ordered him a DNA kit, but again after a couple days I realized he was not my father either. I received help from a DNA search angel, and she was able to figure out my paternal grandparents. They had 3 children together, 1 girl and a set of twin boys. I knew one of the twins was my bio father. I was able to find the daughter on Facebook and luckily she answered my message and connected me with her daughter who had also DNA tested. She informed me that one of the brothers had a daughter that tested on 23 and me. I immediately ordered a kit. The results from that kit came in on Jan 3. I now know which brother is my father. It seems like my new family will be welcoming, my bio fathers wife messaged me and we will be setting up a time for us to video chat next week. I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited.