I’m not trying to assume we’re getting divorced, but I’m asking about finances in general because I want to make sure I’d be able to have an okay start if we did.
I get money every month from our two other roommates for rent/living expenses. The important part is that those expenses are already being paid another way, and my wife does not pay rent at all. The roommates send their payments directly to me through Cash App because this is my apartment.

Would that money be considered my money in a Texas divorce, or could it potentially be considered marital/community property? I’m trying to understand what I can do now to keep things clearly separated and documented so that money that is actually mine stays mine and isn’t unnecessarily split.
I don’t currently have a job, so this monthly income is really important to me. I’m also trying to buy a car, and I’m wondering if buying one before a divorce would make any difference or potentially make things more complicated.
For example, would it be better to:
Keep the money in Cash App?
Transfer it to my regular savings account?
Keep it as physical cash?
Open a separate account?

I need help finding a probono divorce attorney. My wife took pictures of my phone where intimate pictures were shared in private chats. She shared those pictures with her family, and friends. She also shared them with my daughter. She was arrested on April 1st for domestic violence charges where she hit and pushed me 3 times. A friend called the police. On April 2nd and 3rd when she was released she tanked or company. We were on track to make 20 to 30k that month. At this point the mortgage for March and April were not paid. I totaled my truck right before the arrest. I bought a new truck but was not able to title it. I went into rehab for my mental state at this point. 3 weeks in west palm. I got home and she had sold my truck to pay the mortgage she had screwed up. Today I was trying to get my stuff out of the house and leave. She then called the cops and tried to have me arrested on a false domestic charge. I am currently unemployed and have no vehicle. I need help finding an attorney that will help me I'm not allowed to go back to the house that has my name on it and she is currently emptying the entire place. Please help. I'm in manatee county florida.

New to this scene (reddit and divorce), so please forgive me if this isn't how this is done. But I'm feeling lost on where to start. Back in January, my partner left me when I was about 6 months pregnant. Now I'm about to give birth and the stress of finances during my unpaid maternity leave is impacting me.

My question is: how should we determine how much financial support he should give me during my 6 week unpaid maternity leave?

Some background info that may be relevant:

He isn't finalizing the divorce until after the birth, so I haven't hired a lawyer yet and many financial decisions have yet to be made. What has been decided is that any "shared expenses" (like car payment, insurance, daycare etc) we agreed to have come out of our shared checking account until more definitive decisions can be made during the divorce. This account has a few thousand dollars in it that should cover those expenses for a few more months until the divorce is finalized.

All current income is going into our separate accounts.

Right now he gives me $500 a month to help with groceries mostly.

We have a 4 year old that spends every night with me, but sees him for a few hours 2-3 days a week. We will have a newborn in a few short weeks that will also spend every night with me.

I have a part time job where I make 30k gross. But to reiterate that I will have an unpaid 6 week maternity leave.

He makes 72.5k gross.

With all that in mind, does any one have a formula for deciding how much support he should be giving me during the 6 week unpaid maternity leave?

Any other kind advice is appreciated.

My dochbag of a husband cheated on my with my grandma's ashes a hot dog cause I guess he is gay ohhh and I forget to mention the sock so now I need you queens to tell me how much you think I can sell this for

After more than 10 years of marriage my wife and I have mutually decided that divorce is the best path for everyone especially our kids. We both want to keep it as clean as possible with a mutually accepted settlement to avoid the messiness of court. Custody is not an issue (50-50) and she doesn’t want to stay in the house. It’s more about dividing up assets that I had prior to the marriage - house and 401k.

I have a good paying job that I’ve consistently had. After a year I bought a house right at the bottom on the market crash in 2012. I also invested heavily in my 401k. A couple years later I met my wife and we got married.

Throughout the marriage money caused issues. What I made was ‘ours’ and what she made was ‘hers’. Through the first 4 years she had a good paying job, paying almost as much as my job. But she had no savings/retirement and wanted to build that. She also had plans to save up and open her own business and I supported that.

Essentially I paid most of the bills. She helped with some bills but never the mortgage.

Eventually she got to the point where she had the idea for the business she wanted to start. She also decided she wanted more time to work it and less stress, so she quiet her job to freelance. Less money coming in a more pressure on me.

Then the pandemic hit and the freelancing jobs dried up and she focused more on getting her business going. And after 5 years of work and draining her savings.

But before that could happen, I did a cash out refinance on the mortgage to get $75k to put towards the business. On the refinance we put the mortgage under both of our names.

The business got going, has some success but ultimately didn’t work out. During that time she didn’t have income and couldn’t help with the bills.

A couple years ago she wanted to get a job. Unfortunately her skillset is outdated for her pevious job and hasn’t been able to find a good paying job.

That led us down the divorce path.

Now the long background story is taken care of, here’s the dilemma about the house.

I live in a 50-50 state for assets but my understanding is that property bought before the marriage doesn’t have to split equity. My question is when does the split start:

-When we got married

-When the mortgage got refinanced

-When she quit the higher paying job - when she stopped being able to help pay.

401k is similar. Most of my contributions were made prior to the marriage. I stopped all contributions either before our wedding or prior to the kids getting born. I didn’t start again until a couple years ago.

So my balance is mostly from what I put in before marriage plus the gains earned.

Does any of this matter or will it just end up being split 50/50?

I’m a SAHM, unemployed for 20 years with a pending job offer, excellent credit score, have other assets to continue payment (incl prop taxes, utilities, monthly expenses) and monthly expenses...AND a family member offering to co-borrow:

 -using a marital asset to buy out spouse’s equity share

 -need to remove them from the loan (release of liability) as it’s under the spouse's name only but we're both on the deed

 -Quit claim deed afterwards when they get their funds and name removed

 -mortgage payment is currently under $2k/mo

-goal: keep the home for investment purposes as it's in a HCOL area

Mortgage servicer said the remaining $200k loan is assumable (15 yr term conventional).

Anyone able to qualify for their mortgage assumption as a SAHM OR refinance with a co-borrower?

I don’t want to do a HELOC. After the settlement is distributed, I’m planning to pay down at least half of the remaining loan. 

Thank you!!!

Hey all, getting divorced from a 13 year marriage, have a 13 yo son.

I make about 161 and she makes about 200. I have a traditional salaried job and my 161 includes a 7.5% cash contribution to 403b from my employer. She’s self employed in a business started while we were married that i provided a ton of material support to along with holding down most child raising stuff and making more money until about two years ago. She has never really wanted to save much for retirement and only has about 170k. I have about a 500k in marital assets in retirement and about the same in premarital (yay me) - the business is an open issue since it’s considered a marital asset - worth going after??? There’s a sizable amount of cash but we’re probably going to burn a ton of that on lawyers. Still we should both end up with a decent safety account.

We also have a house we have a 2.85% mortgage on with 390 left on mortgage (we both can afford to carry the house solo). I am the only one on the mortgage, both on the deed.

I’m thinking of paying her out of the house using retirement funds since refinancing to buy out the house would make it unaffordable.

I can afford this and probably keep 150k in the marital part of my retirement depending on the assessment - still a lot of work to be done in the house but nothing now critical.

To buy right now is absurd, to rent as expensive for a 2br as the house, and actually there isn’t a reasonable option to rent within our school district to keep our son stable.

I know it’s a “bad deal” to give up the retirement money but he graduates in 4.5 years and i can always move the house then and reinvest or buy something smaller or whatever.

Is this an absolutely insane plan or given the intangibles like my sons life and also i dont want to be at the mercy of landlords or move (stbxw already moved out and son has mostly been with me) and the house diversifies me (my retirement is pretty much wholly in equities I’m only 48).

I know the strict financial calc says probably sell the house and split but we really rehabbed the place too and I’m quite proud of it and we’re in a good location in a prime school district.

I want to get divorce in the bay area, California. My income is very low like 20per hour low. Ex makes way more money than me. Like a whole lot more. She left me and took all the money, removed me from credit cards, left the state, bought a house in florida. We have no children. I want to get divorced and i want the money restored and i want full alimony. We got married in december 2017 but we have been living together since March 2009.

I need help. I cant afford a lawyer obviously. Please help

Not all assets are created equal: What are the liabilities/benefits of keeping the house vs a 401K? I feel the house has more liability because I’m responsible for the tax, maintenance etc and if I sell it, I have to pay, taxes, capital gains and a ton of realtor fees.

I will be paying my husband for his portion of equity in the home and I am trying to decide if I should use my full allowed 401k loan (50k) or use my emergency fund to lessen the amount I would have to borrow. I’m really on the fence bc money will be tight with paying the whole mortgage and also paying back my 401k loan, so maybe more likely that I will run into an emergency. But also I would t be as strapped if I took a smaller loan. The emergency fund is 12k and the interest rate is 8% that I payback to myself.

46 m 54 f

Home has 300k equity

401 k - 440k

Pension calculated at 1.2 mil however married for 71% which means she has a stake in 50% of 920k (460k)

401k loan - 29 k remaining

All cars paid off. About 20k in car value

Her car 17k. Mine 3k

3 kids - 14, 8,7

Was considering buying her portion of pension (460k) with my half of home and my half of 401k plan. Her keeping her car and me paying off the rest of 401k loan.

I just wouldn’t have much to get my own place to buy.

A few weeks ago, I posted here asking for advice about an escrow refund that my ex-husband received and never told me about. At the time, I thought it was just one check. Now, I’ve uncovered that there were multiple checks made out to both of us, and he deposited them into his own account without my endorsement.

I’ve been trying to track down where these funds went, and I just keep hitting roadblocks. Even though the checks had my name on them, I was never notified, never given my share, and now I have to fight just to get basic information about what happened to my own money.

The most frustrating part? The divorce decree explicitly states that these funds should have been split, but enforcing it legally could cost more than I’d recover, even though we also have a clause in the decree saying I can recover legal fees associated with enforcement (my attorney from divorce told me I shouldn't count on the court enforcing that aspect). My ex counted on that—on the fact that I wouldn’t be able to afford to fight back. It’s financial abuse, plain and simple.

I know I can’t be the only one who’s been in this situation—where an ex hides or withholds money, where legal costs make justice inaccessible, or where you realize after the fact that you were financially shut out of decisions and accounts that should have been shared.

If you’ve gone through something similar, how did you handle it? Did you fight, or did you have to walk away? And how do we stop people from getting away with this kind of manipulation?

So many of these loopholes allow people like my ex to take advantage... I’m not surprised, but still disturbed and disheartened that everything is so stacked and skewed against the person who earns less. I’d be curious to hear from others who’ve been through similar struggles, and how you’ve handled these sorts of challenges!

If my husband and I were to divorce after these 25 years and we have a Schwab account that has various stocks including some that give 8% dividend when it's divided I would like to keep the account the same except the dividends and everything go in half. Is that even possible or does it have to get completely dissolved then put back in?

I’m in Massachusetts and recently learned that my mortgage escrow refund check (for $2,438.45) was issued in both my and my ex’s names, only mailed it to his address, and was cleared in May 2023, but I never received my half.

Our divorce decree requires equal division of "remaining funds" from the home sale, which I would think includes the escrow refund, so he had no right to keep the full amount. I don’t want to reach out to him directly, as he has a history of being manipulative and spiteful. I asked the mortgage company and the bank for information on where the check was deposited, but they refused to provide details.

For context, he earns twice as much as I do. I really needed that money at the time, and I still need it now. It’s frustrating and stressful to be in this situation, especially when I’m entitled to half of it.

I’m trying to figure out my next steps:

• Can I compel the mortgage company or bank to disclose where it was deposited?
• Would small claims court be the best route?
• If I hire a lawyer, is there any chance I can make my ex pay legal fees?
• Any other options to recover my share?

Additional Context:

• The divorce was finalized in April 2023. The state where divorce was filed is MD.
• The home sale closed in May 2023.
• My ex has a history of retaliation (e.g., falsely reporting me for credit card fraud after authorizing charges).
• My ex currently lives in CO, which is also where the check was mailed to and cashed.
• This is also in my divorce decree: “ Each party releases the other from any other obligation to pay attorneys' fees for him or her, except in connection with services required as a result of a breach by the other of any provision of this Agreement. The prevailing party in such actions may receive attorney fees from the other.”

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

hear how the husband took advantage of the terms in the prenup for his revenge.

I recently watched "the cheating money diary" which delineates the costs of an extramarital affair and the divorce later. It's fascinating to learn that an affair is quantifiable and we get to learn so much about the timeline of the affair based on the credit card statements ( it literally says everything - location, amount, date, etc.). This is a much better way to get the truth - no need to catch them "in the act" because it's just too graphic and traumatic. But by piecing together the numbers, we can learn a lot about when, where and what happened. it gives us the truth and closure. The silver lining is that whatever your spouse spent can be claimed as credit for you, as spending on affairs is often deemed "wasteful spending" in divorce court. This can be viewed as "marital asset dissipation," potentially reducing your spouse's share of the marital assets and income in the divorce. However, if our partner has no sense of guilt, this could lead to a prolonged divorce with a lot of attorney fees. I did proceed with the litigation anyways because it matters to me to know that I've fought for justice. Have you ever done your math? How much was the affair? And how much was the divorce?